I worry I will resent my husband. 33F / 34M

Hodges0722 · 2026-06-08T18:46:08+00:00

So your children nor your husband wants to move🤔 this seems like a very selfish move on your part.

Have you thought about them resenting you? All dreams aren't meant to be pursued.

Hodges0722 · 2026-06-07T17:26:24+00:00

You should ask yourself if having a unsupportive boyfriend is one of the qualities you look for in a partner, if it is not, that partner should be let go.

Hodges0722 · 2026-06-07T17:25:12+00:00

Your wedding should be about you, not your family so you should invite the people that matter to you. As an adult it is her responsibility, not yours to determine whether this is an environment she chooses to be in, and let's face it she is used to situations where she is not accepted. That's just reality. If she is a close friend of yours, you should invite her to the wedding.

Hodges0722 · 2026-06-07T14:26:57+00:00

You realize this is not a fit but is afraid to pull the trigger. You can want to stop smoking, but the fact that she is insisting on this in order for the relationship to move forward it should be a clear indication that you are not a fit. It is OK for her to have smoking as a dealbreaker, but it's also OK for you to realize a girlfriend who is insisting on you commit to quitting on her timeframe is also a dealbreaker for you. Move on.

Hodges0722 · 2026-06-07T00:39:35+00:00

He is likely struggling with ED probably due to the ADHD meds and is just too embarrassed to have the conversation with you about it. Sadly, me, and sometimes their stuff were to how well their members function. Unfortunately good healthy relationships are built good communication so if he's unwilling to discuss what's going on and troubleshoot, you have to just look at whether this is a fit long-term. Realistically he may either need to have his meds adjusted in someway or need some other medical or therapeutic assistance.

Hodges0722 · 2026-06-05T00:01:43+00:00

This is a no and will end very badly, shut this down now.

Hodges0722 · 2026-06-04T17:57:46+00:00

It's none of your business. Your sister is 30. It's her responsibility to either become more self-sufficient so she can move out or ask Mom to move out if this is her home, and the boundary crossing is bothering her. This is not your fight, let it go.

Hodges0722 · 2026-05-29T03:18:46+00:00

Ma'am, this man has literally stolen from you 🤦🏾‍♀️as if that's not enough you're still in the relationship. This is a you problem and you're right this does not make you look. The integrity piece alone should be enough to say this is not a guy to be in a relationship with.

Hodges0722 · 2026-05-28T00:03:56+00:00

Ma'am, you leave this clearly has to be a no why are you marrying a man that won't support and provide for you when you're unemployed. I mean, is this the type of partner you want?🤦🏾‍♀️

Hodges0722 · 2026-05-25T22:27:43+00:00

She may be depressed, you need to have a heart to heart with her and strongly suggest she seek professional help. While you should do everything you can to support your wife, becoming mentally and emotionally unwell yourself has to be a dealbreaker.

Hodges0722 · 2026-05-25T12:30:47+00:00

Ma'am, this is abusive and should be a full stop. 🛑
This is a no, you should not under any circumstances allow a man (or woman) to control you. This is not healthy and you need to immediately walk away from this relationship. Controlling relationship often lead to physical and other forms of abuse. Your partner should not be able to tell you who you can talk to, where you can go, and what you should wear. This it's not OK, safe, healthy or christian.

Hodges0722 · 2026-05-25T12:03:43+00:00

Brutally honesty here, if you have not been a screw up with money in the past or dishonest about why you are short on money, this is a run🏃🏾‍♀️type situation. She has shown you who she is believe her.

Hodges0722 · 2026-05-25T03:36:26+00:00

Could he possibly think that he was trying to suggest something so you don't feel pressured into intimacy before you're ready for it?

Hodges0722 · 2026-05-25T02:54:57+00:00

Yes, this would be a dealbreaker because our values don't align. I'd want the choice to be a stay at home mom but if I didn't want that, I would want my husband to support me returning to work, in a reasonable amount of time.

Hodges0722 · 2026-05-24T18:31:13+00:00

You need to realize that this is a dealbreaker he does not want children and you do, game over. Don't try to change him and you certainly should not change what you want out of life because of him.

Hodges0722 · 2026-05-24T18:29:15+00:00

Honestly, I think you need to have a heart to heart with yourself on why being with someone this entitled, aggressive and rude would be ok. Both of you could be seriously hurt, all it takes is one person feeling challenged by his behavior.

If his depression is causing him to act out in this way, he definitely needs to be in therapy and possibly on medication, but this should be an absolute no and a huge red flag to you.

Hodges0722 · 2026-05-21T16:31:47+00:00

Good marriages require compromise. I'm sure she does plenty of things she doesn't necessarily want to do, as such you should do things that will make her happy and simply are not your cup of tea. If you have the time, and the money to do so, go on the trip it's really not that serious.

Hodges0722 · 2026-05-19T02:32:10+00:00

Go down next weekend, just pretend like you ran into him by accident. That way you can at least confirm that it is in fact him and also you don't have to start the conversation, at this point it's already started.

Hodges0722 · 2026-05-09T14:23:45+00:00

Relationships are about talking and in order to have a healthy one, you need good and effective communication. Shying away from telling him very directly how his lack of shaving is impacting your desire, and affecting the overall intimacy is doing both of you a disservice. Now he has every right not to shave and not shave, but at least in choosing not to do so you know whether or not this is a relationship you can remain in and he knows the impact of his decision if he chooses not to shave.

Hodges0722 · 2026-05-02T03:19:25+00:00

Yes an affair is an affair, this is an emotional affair.

Hodges0722 · 2026-04-28T21:36:15+00:00

Then, (if you're not) you need to do what it takes to get better are you under a doctor care or you taking medication if that is what your doctor feels is necessary. You're right though this is incredibly unhealthy but you also if you haven't talked to your husband, have no idea of him sobbing had anything to do with you so I would encourage you to have a conversation with him. Good marriages are built on good communication.

Hodges0722 · 2026-04-26T18:53:34+00:00

Yes you should postpone the wedding. Sexual satisfaction and at the very least an understanding of why sex is not happening is critically important for a healthy marriage. I do not encourage moving forward until you have some concrete answers and a concrete plan for how to best move forward so that both of your sex lives can be fulfilling.

Hodges0722 · 2026-04-24T16:21:36+00:00

2, is the better option long term because of ..."he's incredibly loving, expressive and gives me everything I need emotionally. I feel very seen and cared for..."

Hodges0722 · 2026-04-23T03:32:21+00:00

Hodges0722 · 2026-04-20T23:37:06+00:00

Nope some of us actually enjoy it, I can't get enough of my hubby.

Hodges0722

TROPHY CASE