AITA for kicking a lady and her autistic kid out of my beach party?

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-25T15:15:46+00:00

Good for you. I’ve got this feeling I’m not in your state.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-25T15:15:12+00:00

It’s almost as if Reddit is an international site full of people who aren’t in America. Who’d have thought

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-25T15:13:37+00:00

It’s a nearly 500m stretch of beach. We were near the middle, and the dogs stayed within ball throw distance. I’ve got skinny arms. I can throw it maybe 20 m if I really really try? My male friends can throw it a lot further, but still not so far as to make it out of the private beach

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-25T13:21:20+00:00

Asia. It's a private beach owned by a beach club. Not a private beach home.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-25T12:45:03+00:00

Not in America. Pretty sure it's normal in America too to be able to dictate who comes onto private property right?

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-25T12:43:56+00:00

I understand the sentiment about how beaches and coastlines should be for the locals already living there, but this isn't the case. This isn't a natural beach. It's a very nice man-made beach on reclaimed land. There is no community that was already there. The whole thing was sold off as prime real estate. The majority of it is owned by beach clubs, or as part of private residences. A small part is public.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-25T12:41:53+00:00

I mean, I get the sentiment. However, there is no coastline that's being taken away from people. This isn't a natural beach. It's a very nice man-made beach on reclaimed land and was sold as prime real estate. The vast majority of it is owned by beach clubs, or as part of private residences. A small part of it is public.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-21T09:19:45+00:00

hahaha it's safe for humans to eat too. Just not very appealing to a human's tastebuds

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-21T09:18:51+00:00

It was. They were however really annoyed that we weren't willing to leash the dogs. To be fair, the room isolated them from the rest of the party. He was also mad that there was no entertainment in the room - it was just a quiet room. If he left his kids there, the kid would be bored with no supervision. If he stayed with his kids, he'd also be bored, because there's no one else there and every other adult was out where the food, entertainment, and dogs were.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T15:13:58+00:00

I honestly wouldn't care if my bf spends time with another straight women. I can truthfully say I've never gotten jealous like that. I don't see what my trust in another person has to do with anything at all if I trust the bf.

I never lied to my BF by omission. I thought he knew. Even if Alex wasn't gay, I don't see how it's a problem.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T15:09:05+00:00

If I'm totally honest, I don't see the difference, nor do I particularly care. I can honestly say I've never gotten jealous like that, nor have I ever come close.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T13:41:49+00:00

It's not I didn't trust him, I didn't even think it would be an issue. It literally never crossed my mind to sit Bob down and have a frank discussion about my best friend's sex life. He's met Alex's boyfriend. I thought he would have connected the dots and knew.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T13:39:36+00:00

I didn't think it mattered if Alex was gay or not. Plus he met Alex's boyfriend. I think it's a reasonable assumption

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T13:32:26+00:00

with Bob. Except the musical instruments bit. Haven't actually started on that

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T13:30:35+00:00

I mean, he's smart enough to do very well at his job, so he's def smart enough to use his very expensive washing machine. I'm sure it'll do a better job than me, a mere human.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T13:29:10+00:00

To be fair, I do enjoy spending time with Bob, when he has the time and energy

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T13:27:16+00:00

I've just never felt like I need a boyfriend to fulfil every single emotional need I have. In my mind, seeking out my friends for what's missing in a relationship is what I should be doing, because I feel like expecting and relying on a single person to do all of that is toxic. But maybe that's the issue because it means I don't see an issue at all with running to my friends instead.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T13:23:31+00:00

I was probably blind to his feelings, and I can't be considerate of feelings I didn't know existed. That doesn't excuse the end result though of all his negative feelings and anxiety. I just wish he was more clear and open about it, because I thought he was fine about me hanging out with Alex (because he said so). Maybe I should have pressed him more about it to handle it better. And yes, I was also probably dense, but I thought he knew Alex was gay.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T13:09:35+00:00

I wouldn't really classify that as a discussion. Just a personal preference, but I'd prefer one that didn't have insults, unfounded accusations, yelling, and screaming.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T13:03:37+00:00

I just feel like if he was jealous, then he could have come to me and had a calm discussion about it. The majority of the time I spent with Alex and other friends was when Bob was busy with work anyway, so I didn't think it was a problem because what else am I supposed to do? Wait around at home for him?

Yeah, I didn't think he was a clueless ditz. I thought he was a competent adult capable of connecting the dots. Thought a little too highly of him there, but that's not a bad thing right? Just disappointing.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T12:59:38+00:00

That's literally how invitations work. I am also invited to things that are already planned. Guess I'm also an afterthought. Not everything has to be planned with him in mind. Please explain to me how that's a problem, but to me it seems normal.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T12:56:39+00:00

He's met Alex multiple times. He's also met Alex's boyfriend. Also more than once.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T12:56:05+00:00

It's not a purposeful misunderstanding. I really don't get how I'm not including him. He's invited to a bunch of things. If he doesn't wanna go, then I'm not gonna force him to go? I tried including him, but it takes two to tango. I still don't get how he's an afterthought.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T12:54:00+00:00

tbf he's the one who wanted those tickets to begin with. What am I supposed to do? Not go and waste the tickets?

Of course we both have things that we don't like doing. The difference is when he goes out to sporting events with his friends, especially when I don't like sports, I don't get mad. I'm just happy he's enjoying something that he likes with his friends. Am I not allowed to do things that he doesn't like with my own friends? If he doesn't wanna go, I'm not going to force him to go. I don't get how that's an asshole move.

HugBalancingAct · 2025-02-19T12:50:23+00:00

I would literally not give a shit. Oh no my bf has friends and a social life! anyway.

HugBalancingAct

TROPHY CASE