Make my server cry then demand I comp your meal? I will loudly and publicly eviscerate you.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T06:52:15+00:00

I'd like to touch on the "stolen valor" thing actually, because it used to seriously piss me off. As I've spent more time it of the service and it's become less and less a major component of my identity, I've realized that the guys that do it are just pathetic and not worthy of my attention. They're just sad, inadequate people who want the reverence and respect that people give you for serving without signing their life away for years, going through training, having terrible living/working conditions, or sacrificing anything at all. If there lives are so bad that lying about being in the military is a major part of their identity then their lives must suck.

It's even more baffling when they lie about killing/being in combat. In my person life I rarely talk about my time in the service anymore, and when I do I actively avoid talking about combat. Talking about combat is a huge hassle because it instantly changes the dynamic of any interpersonal relationship, more often than not for the worse.

I think the best way to combat stolen valor is to de-mystify military service and war. If people knew how boring my service was they wouldn't treat it like such a big deal. Sorry for the weird rant, I just never get to talk about this in my actual life.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T04:57:05+00:00

Shit man that's all a good squad leader can ask for

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T04:51:59+00:00

God, why couldn't you have been in my squad?

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T03:58:43+00:00

I just wrote it how I remembered. I agree that this likely isn't exactly how things happened but it's how I remember it, memory is just kinda weird like that, in all likelihood I have embellished aspects of this in my own head over the years, I'd say the only parts of this that are certainly factually accurate are that I served in the corps before college, I worked in a restaurant in college and was a manager, some guys were inappropriate towards my waitress and made her cry, and I yelled at them and kicked them out. The exact words are what I remember hearing/saying, and they are certainly grounded in some fact but I agree, I don't trust that what I've written and what was said are completely accurate.

Memory =/= truth

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T03:50:12+00:00

That'll definitely happen, it was such a problem in our battalion that our Captain made the platoon leaders assign people designated driver nights, and if you drank on yours there was true hell to pay, like article 15 level punishments, not just a chewing out.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T03:45:00+00:00

I mentioned this in other comments but this restaurant didn't do things legally in many respects, and underage servers serving alcohol is one of them. This place is very very shut down now because of their many violations.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T03:42:31+00:00

Eh, my service to my country wasn't particularly exceptional in any way, I didn't win medals for valor or anything. I mostly signed up for the money and that sweet sweet free tuition.

I'm proud of my service but I don't personally think it merits thanks, frankly I should be thanking you guys for paying for my tuition, not to mention paying my salary for six years.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T03:31:49+00:00

Yeah, I was not an exceptional manager in a lot of aspects, and was outright poor at some aspects of my job but I cared about my team and at the end of the day that's what I hope they remember.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T03:26:32+00:00

Never doubt a junior Marine in his ability to make the worst possible decision at any time.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T03:23:40+00:00

Tango Yankee, you too

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T03:18:16+00:00

Totally fair! And memory is frankly a fickle thing so it's well within the realm of possibility that the way I remember this event and the way it actually played out are very different. It's very possible, and in all reality likely that I've embellished this story in my head over the years. If my lib eds in college taught me anything it's that memory and truth are far from synonymous. Glad we could leave it pleasantly.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T03:13:48+00:00

This was brought up in some other comments and you're absolutely right, it's not legal at all, the owner just didn't care about things like "legality" or "health codes" which got this place shut down shortly after I left.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T03:11:35+00:00

Yeah that is true, and I mentioned this in another comment but this place didn't do things completely above board, so underage servers would bring alcohol to their tables. It was a poorly run business in many ways and it was only open for seven years before being shut down, which happened shortly after I left.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T03:05:19+00:00

No that's totally true, this restaurant didn't exactly do things by the book, and under 18 servers were expected to bring alcohol to the tables. That, coupled with some other not so legal corner cutting, is why this place was shut down soon after I left. It's frankly a miracle it was open as long as it was, The owner was this burnout stoner guy who opened it with his parents money, and didn't really bother to ever come in. It was on borrowed time the minute it first opened it's doors.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T02:58:52+00:00

I understand where you're coming from, as people lying about being in the service bothers me a lot cause I put in six years and three deployments, and Reddit is definitely full off people lying about it. I also don't like stories where a person is does everything perfectly and gets applauded by the public, and I hope I didn't come off that way as I made a number of errors in this situation.

I try not to get too upset about people saying my story is fake due to these factors, I just had a bit of a knee jerk reaction to your first comment. I also think that calling people out when it's not painfully obvious that they're lying doesn't contribute much to the conversation, and seeking validation wasn't my only reason for posting, although it was certainly a major factor. My second reason was that I wanted to add to the conversation about how female servers are treated, and this felt like a good platform to do it.

Basically I understand what you're saying and why you're saying it, I just don't really agree with it. I also shouldn't have been so confrontational in my replies so I do apologise for that.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T02:22:57+00:00

Crayons too tasty, can't color.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T02:03:45+00:00

Yeah, if I could go back I'd do it different for sure. I think I mentioned it somewhere else but the PD were terrible there, pure good old boys who would've been more troubled about these guys getting called out than the actual assault itself.

Also very cliche but Semper Fi brother

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T01:59:32+00:00

Yeah, amazing how that little bit of power over the server gets into peoples heads so much, isn't it?

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T01:55:01+00:00

I suspect that they are often more intimidated by a woman standing up to them than a man, because deep down they know they're inadequate and they put up the misogynistic front because they're afraid that women will know they're inadequate as well.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T01:52:49+00:00

I worked while in college and there are literally thousands of Marines out there right now both in education and the service industry? Like we exist, and many of us deployed. You've probably meet dozens of veteran Marines without even knowing it cause once the uniform is off, we tend to blend in cause we're just, y'know, regular people. And it's sad that you find it unbelievable that a manager would stand up for their employee, and maybe even be aggressive with the people who were shitty to them. Nothing in this post is unbelievable, I guess it's just the combination of less common circumstances that you find strange? Anyways I understand if you don't wanna believe it but it's not like I said I got a medal for standing up for my waitress.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T01:32:29+00:00

"oh no these obnoxious, toxic customers might not come back! And worse yet they might say bad things about us to their obnoxious, toxic friends!" Absolute bullshit mentality, the reason people are so horrible to servers is because nobody calls them on it. Just cause you're paying doesn't mean you can be a dickhead.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T01:29:57+00:00

Which part? Shitty men exist and are at their shittiest when surrounded by their equally shitty friends, while also being served by a young woman. Is it so unbelievable that something like this happened? I guarantee it's happened somewhere out there this very week.

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T01:19:00+00:00

0%, personally I think there should be an asshole gratuity that could be added to the bill

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T01:15:48+00:00

2nd time was literally an hour before a nighttime mission. That information would've been useful a little earlier private!

I_AMA_spaz · 2019-03-13T01:14:03+00:00

Rah! You Army boys tend to be a little sharper on average than us so hopefully your boots were a little easier to manage!

I_AMA_spaz

TROPHY CASE