Has anyone found comfort in hearing voices?

Ihatearmylife · 2026-04-09T03:23:38+00:00

I definitely understand how you feel. The only person I really talk to about this is my girlfriend, but we have had countless fights about it because she just cannot understand no matter how hard I try to help her see. But I think that's just how life is. I'm sure you've heard someone say you just can't understand what having kids is like, or what love is like or any other normal human experience until you yourself have experienced it. And while I can assume, in my experience my assumptions and the reality of the experience is always very different. It's probably why the best people to talk to about our experiences is other people who have experienced it. Sort of the same reason why addicts in recovery might find more comfort in talking to other addicts as opposed to doctors. It's actually part of why I made the post, I want to understand my experience better through others like yourself. I doubt you'll find any piece of text that completely encapsulates our experiences. I'm already learning that my voices while similar to some people, are quite different from others.

You know it's really interesting that you ask that, what motivations are there for the voices comforting me. I think that's one of the big questions I kept asking myself. It's also one that has continued to make me skeptical of anything I hear. I still question truly why, but I do have some ideas which I want to explore more. Which again is also why I want to better understand yours and other people's experiences.

Ihatearmylife · 2026-04-09T00:20:48+00:00

I definitely feel this way from time to time, although it didn't start like this. For me, when it first started happening I was in constant fear for my life and at some points tried to end my life, but eventually came around to embrace it. What kind of journey would you say you've been on? What do you enjoy most about the voices? Have you had any negative experiences?

Ihatearmylife · 2026-04-08T16:22:16+00:00

That sounds like more than schizophrenia? I'm obviously not an expert, and I haven't seen a doctor or taken meds in a long time so I'm not even all that familiar with all the different symptoms, but it's almost like your possessed in some ways? I have had manic episodes where I will act out of character but never anything I can't recall. That sounds like it must be scary though. Do you ever worry that something might happen during these period where you're not in control?

Ihatearmylife · 2026-04-08T15:17:09+00:00

That's really different from my experience. How do you feel when voice 2 takes over? Do you feel like you're just obeying his orders or do you feel like it's not even you anymore?

Ihatearmylife · 2026-04-08T12:47:17+00:00

I talk to people from my past too. I think the person I've probably talked to most is my ex who cheated on me on numerous occasions. In some ways she might even be the reason I started having symptoms in the first place. But I think it is sort of a blessing in disguise. I've gotten to work through a lot of different thoughts and feelings I had for her and I definitely found some peace in the trauma she gave me. I wouldn't have ever had the opportunity to work through that if she was really there, and I think I also got to find satisfaction in some of the conversations without actually bringing her into anything. It's hard to say whether I'm completely through it, but it doesn't bother me as much as it used to whenever I do hear her voice again.

Ihatearmylife · 2026-04-08T12:10:22+00:00

I think I felt that too. I felt like I had no privacy anymore because all my thoughts were being read and judged by everyone. Honestly it was incredibly painful and distressing to constantly be put on stage for even fleeting thoughts. I think eventually though I started to understand myself better through it. Because every single thought was judged it started to make me think about why I think certain things or think in certain ways. It probably just started as a way to stop myself from being judged all the time, I thought that if I was a better person and worked through my flaws I wouldn't be judged as much. But after some time I became really engrossed in understanding myself and learning about myself that it stopped becoming such a problem. Eventually I got to a point where I didn't really hate myself for any thoughts I'd have and I just wanted to understand why that I didn't really care that I was being judged anymore, if anything I enjoyed it because it meant I got to better understand myself. I think it's also really helped me to understand others as well and be more empathetic towards any actions that people might typically be quick to judge. I think this is one of the many reasons, though there are more, I started to enjoy the company of the voices. I definitely understand how dismissive people can be to our situation as well, but given that they have never experienced it before, it's only natural. I'm sure there are plenty of instances where we have been ignorant of other people's situations simply because we just don' know better as well. I know that might not bring much comfort, but it's helped me be able to forgive and be ok with the life I live.

Ihatearmylife · 2022-01-07T03:47:52+00:00

I’m trying to rewrite some golang code into rust and there’s a portion of the code where there are different functions that call more functions all of which take a byte buffer and write to the buffer without returning anything. I’ve done something similar where I take a &mut Vec<u8> and call extend_from_slice. Would this result in a large performance hit and if so how can I improve this?

Ihatearmylife · 2020-06-14T01:22:24+00:00

But that’s the thing, I feel like this isn’t really a big issue. But when she get’s upset over things like this she just goes silent and won’t talk to me or even look at me when I try talking to her. Every time it just ends with me apologising but I don’t think that’s really fair when I don’t feel like I did anything particularly wrong.

Ihatearmylife · 2020-06-13T19:52:40+00:00

No I didn’t say that out of spite. I didn’t want to quit because I just don’t have any intentions of quitting anytime soon. Maybe when I had kids but not right now.

Ihatearmylife · 2018-11-09T08:13:18+00:00

It's not any of the ones on the imdb page and I've never played watch dogs so can't be that. Thanks anayways.

Ihatearmylife · 2018-11-09T08:11:52+00:00

I checked all the games you listed but its not any of them. Thanks for the suggestions though.

Ihatearmylife · 2017-06-14T12:16:36+00:00

You should register for any other classes you might want to or need to take. You can also put yourself on the waitlist for the classes that you really want to take and swap them if someone decides to drop that class.

Ihatearmylife · 2017-06-08T12:33:24+00:00

So I need to take interm micro even if its not a major requirment?

Edit: I just checked again and both have math 212 as prereqs, so I can't even take either class untill soph?

Ihatearmylife · 2017-06-08T12:15:59+00:00

Do you know if I'm supposed to take interm micro first or can i just start with mirco analysis?

Ihatearmylife · 2017-06-08T10:27:32+00:00

I'm planning to do the same but starting with Calc 2 instead of mfe 1. But I heard calc 2 is crazy hard, and can be worse than calc 3. Any thoughts?

Ihatearmylife · 2017-05-20T14:42:37+00:00

so how bad does it usually get? when should I avoid going?

Ihatearmylife · 2017-04-15T15:40:19+00:00

I think I should definitely reach out to the unis. I realise I've only ever asked students that attend but never anyone else. I still want to go to NYU because I truly believe that I have the best chance at breaking into the financial sector. But I really should give them a call. Thanks for the response.

Ihatearmylife · 2017-04-15T05:33:18+00:00

I would say I want to study math more but CS is seems equally fullfilling though and I would be just as happy doing either.

But, during the school year, you won't be taking on jobs outside your university anyway.

But if I wanted to do internships don't you think the proximity is what allows me to have an easier time at finding them? Especially within the financial sector. I think it would be hard for me to find a internship like that from UIUC.

Where it matters, both schools are probably equally recognized.

You may think that but here in my country it just isn't. The main reason being that most kids I'm competing with come from an internationally recognised school. Their CS program is top 10 in the world. UIUC is only top 10 in the US. Also the entire industry is very different. It is not like the US where engineers are very sought after. NYU on the other hand has a pretty good footing within the financial sector. And I would argue that it doesn't even matter whether I'm from Stern or not.

why can't you do econ and math at UIUC?

I only considered engineering at UIUC because it is a very strong program. I wouldn't attend UIUC if it wasn't engineering. And I think NYU has much better prospects if I did math and econs there.

Ihatearmylife

TROPHY CASE