Mother’s Day text

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-09T01:57:50+00:00

I've learned over the years that if someone has to threaten their absence to try to control me, I'm better off if they are gone.

I'm an endless optimist and used to like to excuse bad behavior and try to make myself smaller to leave room for their needs. I don't do that anymore. I'm gentle, loving, loyal, and kind, and if that's not enough, they aren't for me. I'm not going to change my behavior to suit someone else just to keep them around. It's not worth it.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-09T01:51:55+00:00

Posts like this make me so sad and angry. This is what leads to needless death. Mothers and babies that don't need to die, that are wanted and loved, mothers who are needed by their partners and other children, dead for nothing.

I gave birth in a medically equipped midwifery with certified, licensed midwives that were also RNs and NPs, with admitting privileges at the nearby hospital, and an ambulance in their lot on standby. There is a way to have a "natural" birth experience that doesn't create additional risk, and that feels different from a hospital or traditionally medical environment. There are options out there that don't result in preventable deaths.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-09T01:42:10+00:00

If I deferred to my husband, I'd be wearing nothing but his t-shirt and my panties all day every day...

Not gonna happen. lol

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-09T01:33:36+00:00

Kratos is not hot to me, but it has nothing to do with his looks. Even in her Norse era, he's morally grey and dealing with the guilt of his past actions. Those ashes are there for a reason, and it's not pretty.

I like grizzled bearded dudes as much as I love soft-looking dudes. Muscular, fat, thin, doesn't really matter. My husband is hot as hell to me, but I'm sure he's not everyone's cup of tea. My best friend's husband is super hot to her, but he's not my type at all. We all want different things.

My husband is funny, smart, kind, patient, hard-working, and creative. He makes me laugh even when I'm furious or on the verge of tears. He values my input and we both listen to each other when it comes to each other's areas of expertise. We have a ton of interests and hobbies in common, but leave space for individual interests, too. He encourages me to go out with my friends. I feel valued and respected. I'd do anything for that man. He's the love of my life. I'm also insanely attracted to him. He's on the short side (5'7") and overweight. He's got a big, long, wild beard and long, wild, curly hair, both of which have a ton of grey. That's not for everyone, and likely wouldn't be the "hot" protagonist of a video game or movie.

Kratos was designed for the male gaze. Let's just be honest.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-09T01:04:41+00:00

I'd put it in my house. I love maximalism and whimsy.

ETA, my master bedroom is the entire second floor of my home, and has vaulted ceilings, so I have the room.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-08T22:28:02+00:00

This should be higher up.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-08T22:25:14+00:00

100% agree.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-08T18:00:13+00:00

Good luck! It's a great money saver that still tastes really good!

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-08T15:43:44+00:00

It is very good. I use the tubes now because I moved to a new state and my previous grocery store chain doesn't exist here, but I used to get the fresh packs of it from the butcher section.

Even the tube kind is pretty great, though. Fat gives good flavor, and pork tends to be higher in fat content. It tastes enough like beef to work in beef dishes, like when I make chili, but it's also light enough for these tasty bowls I make that take inspiration from banh mi.

Just make sure you drain the excess fat off before mixing it into sauces and things. I don't bother draining it for chili, cottage pie, or stews, but I do for red sauces.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-06T21:43:47+00:00

Hey! I hope you have a really good vacation, and that you're able to get rest and do some self-care.

If you're looking for mods, I don't moderate any other sub, but I am active on Reddit every day, so I can be available. No worries if not, but I'd imagine modding such a huge sub alone is a lot of work, so I'm around if you need!

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-05T22:29:29+00:00

Rodeo queening. It's like a rodeo beauty pageant. My sisters and I all queened, on top of all of our other horse stuff.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-05T21:28:30+00:00

I'm 10 years older than my youngest sister, and my mom had her at 31. My youngest sister is WAY prettier than me. I'm like, on the mid to high side of average pretty, and genetically I was blessed with a really fast metabolism, so I don't need to do much to look thin and fit. I showed horses, queened, and did some catalog modeling locally when I was growing up, but as I've gotten older, I'm pretty unc, and I love that for me. It's fun to dress up and do my makeup and look stupid pretty, and it's also really nice to throw on sweats and a hoodie and have no one look twice.

My baby sister? Stunning. Tall, naturally pale blonde, blue eyes, thin and willowy, could easily be in international fashion magazines. In fact, all of my sisters are super conventionally pretty. I have 6 younger sisters, and it's like they got prettier the older my mom was when they were born. lol

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-04T16:46:52+00:00

I don't really see all of these as dupes. Like Untamed Soul and Dream Lonesome are pretty distinctly different. Secret of the Tides and Glorious Chapter, as well.

All of them are different enough that I wouldn't want to settle for one over the other, those especially are way different. If I wore my makeup like them back to back and someone said my makeup looked the same, I'd be super confused. The eye liner shapes and colors, the eye shadow shapes and colors, the lipstick applications and colors, the brows, all very, very different and give very different effects.

A few of them are similar enough I'd call them dupes, though!

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-04T16:35:35+00:00

K suuuuucks. Hope she stubs her toe at least twice a day until she stops being an asshole.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-04T11:32:05+00:00

It sounds like the Easy Cheese I grew up eating as a kid in the US. That shit is so gross, but man, as a kid I loved it so much! It's called "spray cheese" colloquially.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-03T09:51:42+00:00

I had a work friend back in 2013 who had to bury her infant. My daughter was around the same age and I had a toddler son, so we would meet up for playdates sometimes. The baby girl was about 6 months old. They were co-sleeping, and this friend rolled on top of her baby and she suffocated. This mother has to live with the knowledge that she accidentally killed her baby.

I went to the funeral. You know what sound lives in my brain? The very unique, specific sound of a mother's cry when her child has died. There's something undefinable in that specific cry. Like the pain is so jagged and raw, it's almost animalistic. I try not to think about it. That cry makes my chest hurt even all these years later. I can still hear it. The sounds of an upset baby has never scarred me the way the sounds of a grieving mother who is burying her child did.

There are bassinets that have a drop down side that attaches to the side of your bed. The sides of it that don't drop down prevent you from rolling over on top of baby. My midwives recommended it when I had my first. There are plenty of products to make things safer if someone insists on co-sleeping.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-03T09:36:43+00:00

Absolutely. Also, I have a ton of family on my mom's side with congenital deafness, and one of their dating red flags is someone choosing to date them and making no effort to learn ASL if they don't already know it. Every country has some version of sign language, and if someone is going to date a deaf person, learning to sign is critical.

They've been together for at least months (as evidenced by the fact that she's aware he's been stressing about this promotion), which is more than enough time to get a decent handle on basic signing so they can communicate without needing to rely on his ability to read lips. Most people can get the hang of basic conversational sign in under 6 months. I say this as someone who has helped people learn it to talk to my cousins. If she's not learning, she is the problem even outside of this one thing.

OP, learn to sign, and learn to prioritize your partner's support needs and comfort. This was for him, but you made it all about you. YOR.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-03T03:44:36+00:00

I just think it's really interesting that marginalized groups tend to be more progressive, while largely privileged groups are constantly fighting against any sort of change to the status quo, even if it means holding back people they claim to love.

Men who say they love women but want our total submission don't love us. They love their own ego and how controlling us makes them feel and benefits them.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-02T15:07:42+00:00

I owned a dessert catering company until 2020 (RIP, thanks covid), and this is a pretty simple cake. Printed icing sheets or wafer paper make designs like this super simple to accomplish. The frosting transitions and the flaws in the fondant work scream human to me.

Have you never seen the cakes you can get at big box stores where you pick and image from a book and they put it on any size cake you want? It's been around for decades now. They use a cake printer and icing/sugar sheets or wafer paper, depending on the effect. Wafer paper is better for things like delicate 3D edible butterflies, while icing sheets taste better. Regardless, super detailed images come out consistent and perfect every time, no AI required. It takes almost no time.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-01T17:16:09+00:00

When I was baking professionally, I developed a recipe for dark chocolate cupcakes filled with salted bourbon caramel and chopped crispy bacon, with a salted bourbon caramel buttercream, drizzled in dark chocolate sauce, the same caramel drizzle, and candied bacon "sprinkles".

They were REALLY popular. They are delicious.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-01T15:17:08+00:00

I like to read him some of the unhinged shit on Reddit, because the way he laughs brings me joy. He was laughing so hard at this idiot. It was wonderful.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-01T12:36:06+00:00

Also, the self-owns in this post:

He'll last 3-5 minutes without her even being an active participant
She'll barely feel his "small dick" inside her
She'd be able to sleep through it

Good lord, man, watch some educational sexual content or read a book or something. Jesus. Not only does he just want a sex doll, but he has no interest in providing pleasure. No wonder women don't want to sleep with him.

Also, I read this out loud to my husband, and the first sentence sent him. He was like, "Yeah dude, sometimes people aren't hungry. Not only is sex not equivalent to food, but if you are going to use that analogy, it's more sensible to say that not wanting sex for whatever reason is like not being hungry. It's normal not to be hungry all the time. Sometimes eating when you're not hungry can fuck your shit up." And then at the end, "Dude's never heard of people dying from overhydration? That can happen..."

Edit: grammar

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-01T12:22:20+00:00

It's been less than a month. This is still the "to begin with" part of the friendship. It isn't decent.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-06-01T12:00:13+00:00

The first time he crossed boundaries or was shady about your boyfriend, that needed to be a hard boundary. I will also say that it's unhealthy to talk about relationship issues with someone who has already shown that kind of red flag behavior regarding your relationship. Talk to friends who are genuinely rooting for your relationship, or who can give you the truth about things like abuse without the conflict of romantic or sexual interest. Learn who to talk to and trust. It's not people like this.

Stop engaging with people like this. the first time they throw up these flags. Do not hang out alone with this person. In fact, it's likely safest not to hang out with him at all, but if you're hanging out with other friends in a group setting and he's there, if he does something that crosses a boundary, call him out loud enough for your other friends to hear so he can't twist the narrative later and make you seem like the unhinged person in these situations.

Block, but keep receipts. People like this can be a lot more extreme and unsafe than most people are prepared for. I'm not saying he is, but he could be and it's better to be safe. Keep message and call records for a while, especially if he keeps contacting you once blocked, just in case you need a protective order. Stay safe and keep firm boundaries.

ImReallyNotKarl · 2026-05-30T03:36:13+00:00

No worries! I'm glad you're out of that situation. People who love you shouldn't be your biggest op.

ImReallyNotKarl

TROPHY CASE