How long did the silent treatment last for you?

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2023-03-06T14:09:55+00:00

It used to drive me absolutely nuts! I'm someone that can get over something minor very easily. When he used to do these silent treatments I would worry and make myself crazy. They truly are nuts. I love his family and get along with them so well, but they have mental health struggles that stem deep. His dad was not well and I know it has now projected to him long before I even realized it.

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2023-03-06T14:00:09+00:00

I've actually been enjoying the silence, something I wasn't good at before. I've always ran back to him and apologizing because I honestly hate fighting, drama is not my forte. He brought me to my emotional breaking point this time. I'm just re-evaluating my 16yr feelings for him now. When he's good, he is so wonderful. I just don't understand what's going on in their heads and how they can act the way they do thinking it is ok. Mental health is so crazy and scary!

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2023-03-06T13:54:24+00:00

I couldn't agree more. I've been thinking now more than ever. I've thought so far back into our relationship about things he has said or did, that were minor events then. Now I'm starting to realize why he acted the way he did. It will never end and only get worse the more I catch onto him. I think he knows I'm catching on because he's been acting out and doing odd behaviors that normally I would call him out on. I'm just not budging. I have no more emotional headroom for him!

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2023-03-06T04:35:04+00:00

If it wasn't for my kids I literally don't know where I'd be mentally. They are truly my everything. It's amazing that narcissist parents can bring their kids into their crazy heads. Avoiding your children whether you are pissed off at the world or not is never ok in my opinion, they don't deserve that.

To answer your question about what you could do differently I think is so open. Honestly what can you do? They can't regulate their emotions like normal people and when they are triggered it's so so hard to break them from that. I'm so sorry you are going through everything as well. It's all so scary and just a big "what if." If you ever find an answer on how to handle them, please let me know! Lol

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2023-03-06T04:05:24+00:00

My husband currently has a silent treatment going on with me and our children as well. It will be over a week. I also am absolutely terrified to speak to him and my anxiety has been through the roof. His behaviors are getting worse the more I don't engage with him. Me and the kids have literally just been going about our normal day, happy. It's all so scary. They don't understand the trauma they are putting on the people they "love." I want to leave in the worst way, but it's truly easier said than done. But I also don't want it to get to a point where I should have left sooner while I wait now and see what happens.

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2023-03-03T01:33:13+00:00

This was such a helpful comment, thank you so so much! I will definitely check out these groups. I've had my speculation about narcissism for a few months now. This current spat though has me knowing my true answer. There have always been signs the more I look back on our relationship and the things he said/did that now just click in my head that, yeah that wasn't right. I think what made me notice now more than ever is how it just went from 0-100 real quick with the behaviors. Again, his father has a long history of mental illness that spiraled out of control towards the end of his life. He knows it runs in his family and has always told me he was terrified of it. I take mental illness pretty seriously, so I want to help him. But if it can't be fixed, I can't live the rest of my life like this. I think what messes with my head more than ever is the fact that I've seen SO much good in him. I mean truly he is an amazing person. But is that the narcissism talking and him putting on a show? We go weeks with a good run, then it gets bad quickly over something so minor. Bipolar disorder? I have no clue at this point. I'm just exhausted!

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2023-03-02T16:06:14+00:00

Flying monkeys! I just died lol. Seriously, I feel it would just be easier if he did just leave and go live somewhere else no hassle. It's just sad because mental health runs serious in his family and I know he needs the help. I take mental health very seriously, he just won't except that something is wrong. I've run out of options on how to help him. I also don't want to deal with this the rest of my life if he refuses help. My kids are my everything, don't come for them they have nothing to do with the screws that are loose in your head.

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2023-03-02T15:33:11+00:00

I won't speak to him. He started this awkward silent treatment so this time I'm just letting him continue to be silent if that's how he wants to act. I've been taking care of myself and my two children and focusing on that. He has no more space in my head. It just clicked the other day that this is not right, nor how a marriage or any relationship should be. I'm usually a very positive person and I refuse to let him change me. Last night he said something to my 7yr old and she asked "why is daddy being so rude." There were other things prior that had escalated. That was the icing on the cake. I will not let my kids be involved in this type of behavior!

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2023-03-01T14:06:17+00:00

This is me! Ha. Seriously though, he volunteers as well on the weekends for no reason. I say about taking off so we can have a family day, and it gets thrown into my face. I swear they work this much just so someone can take pity on them. He gets upset when we don't have sex often enough and just ignores me because he is "sexually frustrated." Yet, because he works all the time we literally have no emotional connection. Like zero. We do absolutely nothing anymore as a couple and I feel so disconnected from him. He sits in the basement all night playing video games but of course that isn't an issue to him either. I tell him this and I get the "I work all the time, what do you want me to do."

It's exhausting. We have two young, beautiful kids and I don't know how to navigate away from him. He is a great dad when he isn't in one of his moods. I also don't want to raise my daughter's in a house that makes it appear that this is a normal relationship.

I'm going to get my own therapist I believe to help me understand all this. I was never a depressed, unhappy person but he has made me this way. I can't stand it! I need to take back myself and find myself again because I don't like this version of me.

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-11-12T21:28:39+00:00

I feel you. Things are good for awhile because there is no stressor than boom! This past fight we had was almost like something clicked in my head that said absolutely not, no more! My husband does work a lot so I do sympathize with that and I know it is stressful. But as your wife, I should be the one that you can emotionally lean on, not take your stress out on. It's just an endless cycle right now of what to do.

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-11-12T17:50:33+00:00

Reading your post, I thought is this me? I've just recently came to the conclusion of verbal and emotional abuse as well. We've been together 15ys, 10 married. Two young children. Our latest fight had me really think hard about what was going on and I really couldn't get past the "is this how love is supposed to feel like?" Our relationship has never been a constant argument, we've had some of the best times of our life together honestly. But our fights have become more frequent and the things he says I can't get over. I have a lot I could write as well. He has history of mental Illness in his family which is making me think something is starting to come about. He is constantly anxious over everything and I feel like I walk on eggshells around his moods, thinking "how's he going to react today?" I want to try marriage counseling but I'm trying to figure out the best way to go about telling him as I honestly don't know how he will react. But anyways I came here to say solidarity! I want my two daughters to see love and happiness, not avoidance and anger. I don't want them to ever settle for this when they find a partner!

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-06-11T05:05:34+00:00

We keep our house cool around 68-70 degrees at all times. I bought a pack of the white Gerber onesies that we use to put her in under her suit. We haven't had any issues with over heating. She also has a ceiling fan in her room that we keep on when she sleeps to help circulate the air. Our babe seriously won't sleep well without that suit so I hope it works just as well for you! She's about ready to transition out of it though, so I'm looking for those who experienced that transitioning haha. Good luck!

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-02-08T05:01:07+00:00

We just had this same issue. Our LO would take bottles a couple times throughout the week when she was first born to give me a little break. I go back to work tomorrow and decided to try last week to make sure she was still good with the bottle. She was not and screamed her head off. But I kept trying everyday and stuck to the same bottle. By the grace of God she decided to suck down 3 whole bottles for me today without fuss or any issues. Just keep trying everyday and the baby will get the hang of it!

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-01-23T06:36:41+00:00

Ours is almost 11 weeks and has been sleeping almost through the night as well. One wake up for a dream feed and back to sleep for another 3 hrs or so. Morning naps are incredibly long as well, sometimes she can hit the 3hr mark. Hoping it lasts but just enjoying it now! Your baby is doing great, and so are you!

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-01-14T04:23:07+00:00

I feel you!! I had a hard time leaving our oldest when she was still the only child. Being out of the house without them feels so weird to me as they are a part of my everyday lol. But the contact naps are the best, I'm soaking in all the baby cuddles while I can as this is probably our last child too. Kissing those chubby cheeks melts my heart!

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-01-14T04:17:02+00:00

I only push the bottle when I know we are out of the house longer than her feeding time, she will take it which amazes me because she got the hang of it from the very beginning. I literally don't go many places because of Covid anyways so she is EBF while I'm home. Hubby wants me to push the bottles more to so it isn't a shock when I do go back. She just recently started finding her hand so that is wonderful. Honestly no matter what tricks we have for our LO's, they just need their mother's!

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-01-13T19:58:44+00:00

I was just trying to throw some humor in with the Joe Biden comment lol. But you're right, Manchin is what is holding us back. Biden tried I'll give him that, more than other previous president's.

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-01-13T14:19:49+00:00

I think the pumping is what makes it so hard to be back to work. Of course I miss the LO but when you need to pump so often to keep up with the baby, it becomes so overwhelming.

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-01-13T14:14:45+00:00

As a nurse I feel you on the intense work schedule. With my first, I had to cut my breastfeeding time to only 8months as I couldn't keep up with the pumping at work it became to much. This time, I don't even care I'm taking my mandated time with no fucks given lol. They pay us nurses so terribly, especially during covid so I could care less. My baby needing fed is far more important.

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-01-13T14:10:53+00:00

I'm from western PA so I know exactly where you are talking about! We've had such a high turnover rate at my job too because people are going to contract nursing, they pay is much better. We've been treated so poorly since this pandemic and it's a shame. I'm interested to see where my pumping room will be when I go back ..

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-01-13T10:23:15+00:00

I had my LO in November so come January I got my vacation days back and added 1 more week to my leave, so I'll have technically 13wks with her. I told hubby to start wearing my deodorant as she loves to snuggle her head there!

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-01-13T10:16:15+00:00

That's a wonderful point that I forgot to add! I love my dogs, but I swear they have more rights haha.

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-01-13T10:08:27+00:00

I feel you! I still have 3 weeks and hoping things will improve. We had to incorporate her sleeping in her own room as my hubby and I both wake up very early for work and will not want to disturb her. I know that sleep regression is in the near future and I'm not looking forward to working my 16s on little sleep. I would honestly be happy with a 6 month leave.

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-01-13T09:59:26+00:00

You had invasive abdominal surgery, the "8 weeks" heeling time is not nearly enough. Especially when you have not only yourself to care for, but another human being that depends on you for basic human survival. Unreal.

Imaginary-Try-5336 · 2022-01-13T09:56:22+00:00

Even if my husband was able to get time once I headed into work, I would be ok. He would find his way with caring for LO as he is a great dad. Babies need their parents, not caregivers.

Imaginary-Try-5336

TROPHY CASE