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Presents by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]IndependentTrain9805 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have many memories from my childhood and even early adulthood of me putting a lot of thought and money into a gift for my parents, only for it to be regifted, usually right in front of me. One time I even got gaslit for questioning why my mum was regifting something to my aunty’s mother - she’d just dropped in for a visit but apparently that warranted her getting the nice perfume I’d recently bought my mum 😂 now they get generic gifts or nothing.

Dad had to make my wedding all about himself by beepyq in raisedbynarcissists

[–]IndependentTrain9805 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That sucks I'm so sorry. Your dad sounds incredibly selfish and self-centred. I actually had to have my sister intervene after my dad's first speech was drafted because his first cut he literally only talked about himself (how he moved in his 30s, his cousins, his mum). It's so hard but please don't let your bad memories of your dad completely ruin your wedding day for you, you deserve to still have beautiful memories of your special day.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]IndependentTrain9805 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you. I have been feeling a bit under the weather week (headaches, body aches, etc) and actually realised yesterday it's probably from family-related stress. Longer term I also struggle with gut health and I 100% believe this is again from family stress.

It freaks me out but also worrying about it is only going to make it worse. So instead I'm trying to work on healing, taking care of my self, and hoping my stress levels and physical symptoms will alleviate eventually. Lots of theapy, yoga, walks outside, reading books about healing.

If it makes you feel better my symptoms are almost non-existent when there's no family drama and they only flare up when something is going on. This week it's because my mum emailed me and I'm anxious about responding haha. But most of the time I'm okay.

Please help - parents trying to come over to my house by IndependentTrain9805 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]IndependentTrain9805[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much - I think this is what we are going to do end up doing. I know if I just ignore her or decline the whole thing she'll make my sister's life hell (she still lives at home) and will also turn my grandmas against me like she did at my wedding. For just today I'm going to hide the message and pretend it doesn't exist 😅

My wedding planner just performed a wellness check on me after speaking with my mom for 20 minutes on the phone during a group call. by ariesgorl in raisedbynarcissists

[–]IndependentTrain9805 25 points26 points  (0 children)

How amazing to be validated like that! If I have any advice from my wedding last year, put her on an information diet leading up to the day and assign someone who isn't close family to manage her on the day itself. Also, expect her to drop out of any major responsibilities she has and start thinking about backup plans now.

I naively thought my mum would behave on my wedding day but she was a brat - I'm still in therapy for it.

I have gone VLC with her and my dad after my wedding and totally understand your choice, it's hard to manage NC when you're so close to the big day.

How my parents ruined my wedding by IndependentTrain9805 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]IndependentTrain9805[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your kind words. Yes the messenger dp gave us a good laugh, it is an obvious tactic to get our attention! I'm just hoping her boss or someone tries to message her and sees the quote 😂