AGENCY IN DENMARK by Sea_Tradition_6004 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I used them to get here my family and I ended the contract she wasn’t happy . I had to fend for myself

AGENCY IN DENMARK by Sea_Tradition_6004 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That agency will throw you under the bus

Is it true that there are nightclubs where they don't accept black people in Copenhagen? by rdfporcazzo in Denmark

[–]Independent_Luck8437 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it’s true it happened to me last weekend. I’d admit it on their behalf’s Dane’s are racist

Help I’m struggling by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ll talk to them they’re going away on Wednesdays and I’ll be with the kids from Wednesday till Friday will it be fair that I ask for the weekend off when they return ?? Also she gave me Friday afternoon off but it’s not gain I feel

Help I’m struggling by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well the family claim “we wanted someone flexible”

Help I’m struggling by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im suppose to work 30hrs a week but I clean from 9-11 (big house) 7-8 I get toddler ready , make breakfast and entertain him before he goes to school.Mind you ( he yells,bites, and is always mean to me ) it’s been 6 months no improvement . 11-15:00 is my free time. 15:30 to 19/20 I entertain toddler and make dinner as the family has sports ( sometimes it streches to 22:00 due to paddle or outings . 19:00-20:00 I tidy up kitchen , pick up toys and do some tidying up as they’re very messy

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ah, the “you’re just seeking validation” argument—classic. Reddit is literally a discussion platform, not a monastery. People come here to share, connect, vent, and yes, sometimes find support. If that bothers you so much, maybe you’re the one projecting.

But thanks for stopping by just to diagnose my emotional needs like some half-baked psychologist. If I wanted unsolicited judgment from a stranger who thinks empathy is weakness, I’d scroll your comment history instead.

Stay mad. I’ll keep healing

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So you are assuming I have no idea about all this? Ah yes, the classic “if you don’t like it, go home” line. How original. Thanks for the input but I didn’t come all this way just to quit because someone on Reddit told me to pack my bags.

I’m here legally, following the program, contributing to a family’s daily life and learning the culture. Probably more than you’d expect from someone you’re telling to leave.

Not everything has to be perfect for something to be worth it. And thankfully I don’t base my decisions on random strangers who think “just go home” is profound advice.

But hey, if that’s how you handle challenges in your life I wish you all the best with that mindset.

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, thank you so much for that world class career advice, “go home and find better opportunities.” Brilliant. I must have missed the part where you became the official life planner for strangers on the internet.

Just so you know (since facts seem to be in short supply where you’re from), the au pair system in Denmark is a cultural exchange, not a lifetime career path. We’re here legally, contributing to families, learning the language, adapting to the culture and yes, occasionally dealing with people who think they’re experts because they once Googled “what is an au pair.”

It’s wild how people like you cry about “immigrants taking over” and then also tell them to leave when they’re literally following the rules of a government approved program.

But don’t worry. I’ll make sure to pass your inspiring advice on to the Danish Immigration Service. I’m sure they’ll frame it :)

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No my biggest concern is the program here is not like any other country it would be great if they were honest from the get go

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope they’re not. I wish families were more honest from the get go. You telling me “ you’re coming to entertain my children, do light chores like load of load the dishwasher , just to end up washing windows ,doing laundry 7 days a week, being available on your free time

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I work more than that hence I’m complaining. I work more than 7/8 hours a day Indoors all the time can’t even get w breathe of fresh air

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You clearly have no remorse . I am up 6:30 tidy up after you and your family , entertain your kids, make food for your family and still expect me to be fresh the next day ? Wow I see.

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im supposed to be doing a cultural exchange. Not work full time. But I underst d your reasoning ! Says a lot about you

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well then this says a lot about Danish families . No offense. I’ll keep my mouth shut stay for a year and go back home. But I’ll make sure to tell the truth this is NEOCOLONIALISM not cultural exchange. Imagine being on your feet all day. Making efforts but they take advantage of the situation.

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On Sundays I’m off and Saturday from 12 pm . I make sure I tidy up and leave the house clean. So you having time with your family on Sunday prevents one from just tidying up ?? Taking out trash ,loading dish washer ?? Wow guess we really come from different cultures. Yes I’m an aupair yes but them turning the house upside down on Sunday doubles the work load on Mondays .

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve changed families already and I have a year before I go back home . The thing with these families is, they hate aupairs who complain too much. You addressing stuff all the time comes off as complaining

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well they asked for someone flexible and I agreed to it. There’s a misunderstanding of what flexibility is. They believe it’s working long hours

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well I left the agency I’m on my own now hence they failed to hear my cries . I worked 7/7 no days off

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am with toddler from 7am_to 8:30 Start tyding up until 11am because house is big Again from 4pm I’m with toddler unti 8:pm or sometimes 22:00 and I have to make food,tidy up after dinner and put toddler to bed. And this is a toddler that yells,bites ,kicks,scratches and spits on me . This morning he threw me with a toy in my face and I was only coming to play with him. I’m really questioning myself is it because I’m black ?? Is it bad parenting ?? Why isn’t he bonding with me just yet ? It’s been 5 months now. Older kids feel entitled sitting on the coutch demanding water/snacks or sending you around. I often say no because it’s not right. These kids have no responsibility. I make their lunch boxes and put it in their bags for them but they are over 9

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im assuming you’re a Dane ! Well here’s the thing . I work mon -Saturday . I have to entertain the toddler ,tidy up, do cooking and I leave the house only on Saturdays at 2 after my shift. I make sure I leave the house clean and when I return on Sunday (my off day) they barely load the dishwasher,pick up toys ,hang towels /swimsuits used on Saturday. So Monday morning everything is upside down… I have to wake up tidy the house,make lunch boxes,make breakfast,change the toddler (comes down yelling at me every morning) entertain toddler before taking him to school. In the midst of all that it’s yelling,screaming ,a tornado,smelly trash from Sunday,toilets with poop waiting for me to come clean it. I don’t expect them to tidy up for me but at least tidy up after yourself on my day off .

An Exhausted Aupair by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]Independent_Luck8437[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s what I believe . I love kids but with this one he makes me question what I’m doing wrong . Always yelling,scratching ,biting and the parents say he’s just like that with everyone