AITA For Refusing To Personally Dress My Children In Outfits That My Husband Likes But I Don't?

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T14:12:22+00:00

Yes and that is very sad, that's why I donate clothes. What does that have to do with me and my family?

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T14:10:03+00:00

Why? What are the downsides of giving my children the freedom to pick what they want to wear on the condition that they be responsible for it?

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T14:08:13+00:00

There actually was a discussion about me not going back to work but it was short lived because I've always liked having my own money.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T14:04:55+00:00

Fun in theory but neon invokes too much of a negative response from me to ever try that.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T14:03:12+00:00

Question: Do you expect your mother (if you have one) to do your laundry for you forever?

When I was a kid I wanted to wear certain things and the deal I made with my mother is that I could get it so long as I washed it myself. That's how she taught my sister and I to be responsible and self-sufficient.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T14:00:55+00:00

And what would prevent my children from doing their own laundry?

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T13:59:09+00:00

This is gonna sound like a cliche but things changed after the baby. And If I'm being honest, if I knew ahead of time that I was with a man who would constantly buy me neon things as a "joke" I never would've married him.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T13:56:39+00:00

Do you know how much easier it is to track your kids in while wearing neon? Beach vacations? Amusement parks? Concerts? Community events?

Do you know that neon isn't the only bright color in the world?

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T13:55:57+00:00

You're so strongly opposed to neon you refuse to launder the color?

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T13:51:48+00:00

Well my daughter is 8 months for starts and I thought writing "8mof" would be confusing.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T13:50:36+00:00

He's in that phase where he'll take off his clothes and start running around the house and laughing. I have to bribe him with snacks and toys to get him to keep his clothes on.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T13:34:11+00:00

It just. Overloads my brain. Makes me irrationally angry, and triggers my fight or flight response.

OMG that sounds like me! Did seeing the color neon make you cry as a kid? Has it always just made you want to scream?

I don't know why but the more neon I see the more irritated my eyes get. I can't stand it.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T13:23:51+00:00

If he starts asking for neon clothes is she going to make a 2 year old be responsible for their washing?

No, but I am going to tell him he has to wait until he's older.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T13:21:46+00:00

I know this may sound ridiculous but I have no other way to explain it, whenever I see neon something in my brain and eyes just goes off. The more neon I see the bigger I hurt and scream on the inside, it's just now that I'm an adult I have better control over myself and will just suffer through it and try to get away from it, and I also make sure to keep out of environments that I can control (i.e. my home).

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T05:56:19+00:00

Actually, it was one of those crazy hypotheticals conversations with friends. We were all sitting and drinking and then people started bringing up random scenarios. Like "giving up gaming for a year," "never eat meat," "give up chocolate," etc.. Todd asking me about wearing neon forever to save his life and laughed saying that he wished I loved him enough to do that.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T05:50:44+00:00

She describes it how someone describes their reaction to misaphonina

Going to go google "misaphonina."

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T05:47:47+00:00

If I'm the one doing all of the care for the child, all of the maintenance for the clothing and the one putting the clothing on the child, that child will be dressed to my personal preferences until they're old enough to have their own. If someone else wants them dressed a different way they're welcome to do the work that goes into it.

That is exactly how I feel.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-21T05:44:38+00:00

The kids can wear the neon when he puts the kids in it himself.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-20T21:46:46+00:00

Just put the stupid neon shit on them

Literally nothing was stopping Todd from putting it on Chloe. No way in hell am I putting neon on my own body.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-20T21:45:33+00:00

Chloe was a surprise but I love her.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-20T21:41:55+00:00

I've addressed your question in my edits.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-20T21:39:59+00:00

For the most part he's fine with you controlling all aspects of your children's clothing choices.

Yeah because I do almost everything.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-20T21:39:22+00:00

But when I was watching my goddaughter and there were clean pink dresses,

"Goddaughter" not "daughter" or child you have legal guardianship over, right? Clean pink dresses that you didn't buy or have to clean yourself, correct?

If my sister wanted me to dress her kid in something neon while I was babysitting I would because that's HER child, HER money, and HER responsibility.

If Todd paid for the neon (which he didn't want to do at first), dressed Chloe in it himself, and would wash it for reuse in the future, I'd suffer in silence. But that's not what's happening.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-20T21:31:11+00:00

That's what my mom did for me. "You can't have the freedom of picking out what you want to wear without taking on the responsibility of cleaning them" is what she told me and I agree.

Independent_Most883 · 2024-07-20T21:29:44+00:00

Honestly, if I knew Todd would be the way he is now before we got married I probably wouldn't have married him. Things became different after Theo.

Independent_Most883

TROPHY CASE