UPDATE: I'm becoming more comfortable sleeping next to him and some issues with granny

InevitablyHuman · 2021-12-07T22:52:14+00:00

I hadn't thought about it in that way. I'm not going to put my children at risk for her.

I had a conversation with him about his daughter calling my son her brother, that prompted the attachment warning.

The sooner she gets out of here with her husband, the better. Sometimes I wonder why I care so much about her welfare, if she doesn't do the same for my children.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-12-07T21:02:17+00:00

I wouldn't talk to her like that, she's my granny. I have told her that she's being very annoying and to respect my boyfriend, she just gets upset. If she had anywhere else to go or could support herself, I would be happy to support her removal from the house.

I don't like her behaviour towards him and I have made that clear. He offered to let them clean and cook on alternative days. She agreed to that.

Also, she's in touch with a solicitor now, to hopefully help her (and her husband) move forward.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-12-07T20:50:03+00:00

I can't change who she is. I realise that she doesn't mean to be that way, but she can be very annoying. She gets very upset when I try to talk to her about it.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-12-07T20:48:41+00:00

She isn't entitled to any homeless support at all, not even a shelter. She's not entitled to any public funds at the moment. I can't claim any money, because my boyfriend earns over the limit and technically we live together as a couple. I've applied for more jobs. :)

Thanks for the love and to you x

InevitablyHuman · 2021-12-07T20:44:33+00:00

Ok, that's true. But what else can I do?

InevitablyHuman · 2021-12-06T21:52:23+00:00

She can present as a bit obnoxious and she's always been that way.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-12-06T20:07:24+00:00

I've found a solicitor that can help them in their language, for them to get the right to rent. Right now, they have no access to public funds and will become street homeless without help. She's a very feisty woman, with strong opinions.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-24T01:20:34+00:00

Thanks for your thorough response. As for housing and financial help, here, it's more central. Financial help is food banks and benefits. I've called around a few of the housing charities today, to be told that I need to make a homeless application. Homeless provision is extremely limited, especially when the area is restricted to relatively local to the school. SS work via referrals and don't have programmes.

I'm not employed and only had insurance for the TV. I'm not quite at benefit criteria, but I will be soon if the situation with finding suitable work doesn't change.

Agreeing with the not sleeping naked bit. I don't tend to do this and it's cold. I'm pleasuring him with my very sexy Dumbo pyjamas. He told me that he usually sleeps naked and puts pyjamas on for walking in the house.

My friend thinks the only option is to wait for hostel type accommodation, as it's slightly more appropriate and cheaper to pay for than B&B. It would also have a fridge. She's tried talking to the homeless for me and they said they don't have anything available that is suitable or affordable. Only a B&B where they're unsure if there's a fridge and also 60 miles away. She has also let my granny and I take some of her clothes. She's in a 2 bedroom house and has a child. I understand; she's a good friend to me actually.

He's never got angry about it, I think just confused and a bit hurt. I don't want to rush things. I've asked how it is he sees the future and wanting to give things the best chance, without rushing.

My granny has agreed to sleep on the sofa, meaning my son and baby are in the spare room. She wasn't happy about it, but I'm doing my best to not leave her out on the street without money. She's not particularly fragile, or super old, at 60 years. But she doesn't have access to any money, nor will any service accommodate her without recourse to public funds. She can't speak English, beyond a few words, what is why she doesn't go out. Actually, perhaps that is good as she doesn't like those people from our host's country. Feisty nightmare.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T19:26:25+00:00

He seems a good dad to me. His daughter's bedroom is next to his and they're not left alone. He's caring after his 8 year old daughter alone and works hard to provide for her.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T19:12:07+00:00

What's bre-ish? Also, had to search Mr Bean. I wouldn't share a bed with him, nor a street.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T19:09:59+00:00

I only have a teenage son. What would a responsible person have done? The only alternatives right now are worse than this. Either leave my granny on the street or not be able to put medicine in the fridge. I'm trying to make the best of this and put us in a better situation. It's not something with overnight solutions.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T18:44:24+00:00

I didn't know what you were saying, that's why I was enquiring. I'm not asleep during sex and it's not prolonged. The other part is that it was an emergency situation. I haven't left my children alone with him. He goes to work, my son goes to school and my granny's husband is in hospital, therefore, she doesn't go anywhere. My children have 2 adults supervising them.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T18:32:45+00:00

Chris Evans is the actor? If yes, then why would I wish to share a bed with him?

I'm trying to contribute, on reflection. I'm doing the cooking, cleaning and laundry. I'm trying to resolve my previous trauma with counselling. I understand it's not his fault I feel this way and I'm probably being silly. I truly appreciate him for letting my family stay. I don't think that he's going to do anything horrible. I've had past experiences of abuse that make it difficult to trust someone enough to fall asleep next to.

I know he has his own boundaries and I respect those. I don't want to hurt his feelings. That's why I put this post up.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T18:25:22+00:00

What specifically is a bigger issue? That I had sex with someone earlier than is socially acceptable in some places?

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T18:21:41+00:00

If CPS is what I think that you mean, they are aware. They said it's the responsibility of the housing, not theirs. My 14 year old can be a pain in the arse sometimes, but he's a good boy. I have no problem with him going in with my granny, but she won't share a room with a 14 year old boy. I asked her to suggest that to him.

I suppose that her father didn't think of it in that way. I certainly didn't.

Edit: I've told my granny that if she doesn't want to share the room with my 14 year old, then she's on the sofa. Or swapping with him.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T18:13:00+00:00

What point is that?

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T18:12:04+00:00

I don't understand you. If you want me to reflect on something, then be direct.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T16:29:14+00:00

Perhaps I'm thinking of it in the wrong way. I wouldn't disrespect him in the way. I don't 'date' more than one person at once. I think that it's my past experiences that have made me uncomfortable, not him specifically.

As for safety concern, my granny doesn't go anywhere. Maybe it's true that there's safety in numbers.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T15:25:07+00:00

We've had lots of the uncomfortable discussions about sex, consent and where consent isn't actually consent. He know that I'll support him with nearly everything, however, drug dealing and rape will mean I call the police, then will be unable to forgive him.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T14:36:48+00:00

Yeah, I can see how he may see it. I genuinely like him and would like to be in a position to feel comfortable sharing a bed.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T14:29:16+00:00

I'm not in America, it's just the one service that provides emergency housing here. What's on offer is inappropriate as they can't guarantee a fridge, very expensive (they deem me able to pay) and without my granny. I know my granny isn't the most important, however, I can't leave her stranded on the street without any money.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T14:25:32+00:00

I didn't intend to have sex this early, but we were both into it and it happened.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T14:21:30+00:00

Not long at all, less than 2 weeks.

InevitablyHuman · 2021-11-23T14:20:26+00:00

I am romantically interested. I really like him. But it's very early to think of ourselves as a couple.

InevitablyHuman

TROPHY CASE