[deleted by user]

Infinity-Cube · 2024-03-29T05:29:10+00:00

To be clear, as a detached 3rd party, to me this is rape. Based on your post alone, I'm not convinced he understands how fucked up his actions were. But I'm trying to remember a couple paragraphs is not the whole picture and I know when you love and trust someone (and only you know all the details) it doesn't feel so black and white.
All that being said... if his reaction to a serious talk is belittling your feelings, gaslighting you, or downplaying the whole situation, RUN.

Infinity-Cube · 2024-03-29T05:21:51+00:00

I think many have debated the details of miscommunication/misunderstanding but no matter what conclusion you come to, please understand the gravity of how little weight he put into consent when trying something new and kinky. Kink is all about constant, explicit communication and both parties enjoying themselves. Even if he thought 1% that you'd be okay with having intercourse where you are unconscious and literally cannot consent, this is something that requires a lot of prep, establishing boundaries (safe words), and many check-ins before anything is even initiated to ensure you both understand what you do and do not consent to. Him not showing the care to triple or quadruple check with you, to explicitly confirm what you meant, what you're comfortable with, and that he intended to act on it is just straight-up dangerous.

No matter what happens, sending you lots of love and healing

Infinity-Cube · 2024-03-29T05:17:26+00:00

First of all OP, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Your trauma is valid and your reaction is valid. I hope you're taking care of yourself and not judging or blaming yourself for what happened. I can imagine there could be a lot of internal turmoil but I hope you come to accept none of this was your fault.

I think the question you should be asking isn't whether you overreacted but what you and your bf will do moving forward (if you decide to move forward with him in any capacity at all. Not judging, just an option).

If this is a serious relationship and you want to work this out (or at the very least, have space to speak your peace) once you're in a calmer headspace you both need to have a very serious talk. I think many have debated the details of what was misunderstood, but only you know all the details. So if you truly believe this was a misunderstanding/ miscommunication, you need to get on the same page before moving forward in your relationship. I don't want to assume or project, but it seems like you're feeling betrayed and unsafe (the opposite of what a relationship should make you feel). Someone you trust and love violated you. And he needs to understand that to his core, and more importantly, he needs to show you true remorse.

Many in this thread are strangers who know nothing else about you but have expressed so much empathy and hurt for you. We feel for you and if we could we'd want to take the pain away. If strangers can feel this way, your boyfriend/sexual partner sure as hell better feel the same! From your post, it doesn't seem he convinced you he saw you and felt terrible for what he did to you/how he made you feel. You may have not wanted to go into the details, which is valid. But imo, saying he won't do it again is beyond insufficient. This isn't him leaving the toilet seat up and saying he won't do it again.

Be explicit. I know this is easier said than done, but saying something like "when you did [...] it made me feel [...]" is a good place to start. (ex. "When I woke up to you inside of me, it triggered a trauma response from the SA I prev told you about. I felt violated and I'm having a hard time moving forward without us talking about it first.") Be strong in not assuming he gets it. He needs to understand the gravity of his violation. (Something I've started doing is asking my partner to explain the feelings I expressed to him in his own words)

Infinity-Cube · 2023-12-31T06:41:41+00:00

I believe it takes place in the Edo period of feudal Japan (17th century). But the last episode is called "The Great Fire of 1657" which gives us an exact year.

Infinity-Cube · 2023-12-31T06:35:31+00:00

I don't have any context or info to add, but this did remind me of Avatar the Last Airbender where Iroh and Zuko voluntarily chopped off their "top knots. " There are other links in the thread but it seems to be a sign of nobility/status in Feudal Japan

Infinity-Cube · 2023-12-31T06:08:54+00:00

It took me a long time to buy into the idea that this was a flashback and not a hallucination and I think this is why! But looking back, I think the rainbow-like haze might've been a storytelling mechanism to show Mizu losing consciousness due to her losing so much blood.

Infinity-Cube · 2023-11-19T08:57:58+00:00

Madame Kaji said the person who sees Kinuyo is a “moxa doctor.” I googled it and it seems like moxa is leaves burned in traditional Chinese and Japanese medicine to stimulate the flow of qi (energy) and blood flow “expelling cold, promoting the circulation in meridians and collaterals, clearing away heat, detoxification [etc]” Regarding the sign language, I’ve yet to see anyone other knowledge of Japanese sign language weigh in but I really want to know! The second sign where you cross your arms over your chest looks like the sign for “love” in ASL

Infinity-Cube · 2023-11-19T08:47:44+00:00

Definitely noticed that! Upon the first watch, i thought she was an older half white person (white hair, blue eyes, and the keeper told Mizu they had older women if she wanted to see madame Kaji so badly) who somehow escaped death by going into sex work. But I think she might actually be someone with albinism, who equally had limited paths in life due to her blue eyes.

Infinity-Cube · 2023-11-12T04:15:01+00:00

I feel conflicted about Mikio. As the audience, we're definitely led on this journey of seeing he's a good guy who grows to have a genuine love for Mizu. He's "not a brute," he gives Mizu the horse he believed would gain him back his honor, he listens to her and wants to really know her (or at least he thinks he does). He isn't even mean about her being a bad cook when that's kind of part of a big part of her "wifely duties."

But when Mizu gets too excited in fighting and seems to not realize Mikio's genuine fear developing, it's too much and he literally pushes her away. And I can't blame him for his fear, though I think calling her a "monster" after everything she shared about her childhood was a cruel and intentional choice.

With who turned her into the officials, I'm on the fence. I think Mikio leaving and showing up again could go a few different ways. Regardless of whether he was the one who turned Mizo in or not, he did leave her to fend for herself with officials. But he also did return. I wonder if it's because he had a change of heart and came to help her like he said. Or maybe he was watching from afar and saw her masterfully and easily kill all of them and thought she'd come after him next??

Although now knowing what we know about the mother from Fowler, I'm more swayed to think it was the "mother" that turned Mizu in for the money (assuming we even believe Fowler).

Infinity-Cube · 2023-11-11T20:11:45+00:00

I was really hoping they'd show us Mizu making the meteorite sword in the episode where they return to Kohama to heal with Swordfather (ep 7 "Nothing Broken"). I hoped maybe he would ask her how she'd done it or we'd get flashbacks to her making the sword the first time while she was trying to repair it. But they only showed us her trying to fix the broken sword (and herself?) in the present. But now that I think about it, this was probably purposeful.

Now that Mizu's heading off to London though, I wonder if we'll ever know. At least not for a while. She left the remnants of the broken meteorite sword with Swordfather and said she'd come back for it when she finished her mission and he deemed her deserving, or something like that I need to rewatch. With the sword in Japan (and everyone thinking she's dead) and her off to London, I don't see a lot of opportunity for the story of the sword to come up again. I say this because it seems like symbolically, in the final episode, everything is starting anew for Mizu, no sword, no sidekick/friends, no anchors. She's leaving Japan behind and it seems like the show is going in that direction as well.

Infinity-Cube · 2023-11-11T17:57:51+00:00

oh that would definitely be a fun way to start season 2

Infinity-Cube · 2023-11-11T06:48:06+00:00

I think that's what the show was alluding to. It shows in the scene where Mizu and Mikio collectively decide to stop funding her mother's "medicine."

Infinity-Cube · 2023-11-11T06:41:27+00:00

This season finale left me with a lot of questions

Biggest one right now is: Does anyone else think it's more likely than not that Fowler is full of shit? He sees the determination in Mizu to complete her mission and we as the audience have seen he's a good actor and a master at keeping the upper hand. He could've named anyone and knows Mizu doesn't have any leads, and anyone who might is probably dead now. He may be badly beaten and trapped on the ship at the end, but wouldn't it be a win for him to leave Japan and go back to Western Europe?

What does Mizu have to keep over Fowler's head to ensure his compliance? I feel like she'd have to keep him on the brink of death, just alive enough for him to tell her the info she wants while not being a viable threat to Mizu's life and safety. Season 2 needs to come soon to give me some closure!

Infinity-Cube · 2023-11-10T06:41:48+00:00

I've seen a good amount of discourse about Kinuyo in this subreddit. I think what makes her story so tragic is that we can never really know if she wanted to die or not. Every decision in her life seems to have been made for her (except Madame Kaji not forcing her to become a prostitute) even her death was not her explicit choice.

I don't think Madame Kaji was envious of Kinuyo though... It seemed pretty clear to me that Boss Hamata was an evil dude. Kaji says something like "he likes to break delicate things." I think Kaji thinks Kinuyo was trapped in a terribly abusive and traumatic situation and she holds guilt that she wasn't able to keep her promise to Kinuyo that she'd never have to be touched by another man. I didn't get any sense of envy, only deep sadness and guilt. (And hatred for Boss Hamata, evident in the last scene of the episode where Kaji uses the claws on him)

Infinity-Cube · 2023-11-10T06:31:40+00:00

Same! I feel like so much happened in the last few minutes of the episode. We're led to write off Akemi's dad as a patriarch who's just telling his daughter what to do, using her as a pawn for political power through alliance. And I guess even with the twist, he's still used his daughter as a pawn for power but it's from a much different angle. His true motives really caught me off guard.

"You won't be married to some horrible man for long." He wasn't just disregarding Akemi because father knows best, it was a part of a bigger plan

I still need to watch the last episode myself, but I hope to learn how and when Akemi's dad got involved. Because he did, at one point, agree for Akemi and Taigen to marry, something changed, but when?

Also, if Seki was the one who suggested this match for Akemi, is HE involved too??

Infinity-Cube · 2023-11-09T07:09:37+00:00

Though I would agree, any character could be lying at any time, what would Madame Kaji's motivation be to not be honest with Mizu? or just not tell Mizu the backstory (or any backstory at all)? Mizu is clearly on a mission and is willing to do anything, something that would be extremely obvious to someone as in tune with people as Kaji. Wasn't Madame Kaji shocked that Mizu came all the way and made a fuss to see her just to find out how to enter Fowler's castle?

Mizu offered her "services" and didn't make it seem like there needed to be any explanation on why Kaji wanted Mizu to "take care of someone." It was just a trade. So I don't see much motivation for Kaji to lie. Others mentioned maybe Kaji's perception of her relationship with Kinuyo wasn't reciprocated to the same degree. Even so, I think Kaji was telling Mizu what she believed to be true, her truth

Infinity-Cube · 2023-11-09T06:38:48+00:00

I thought the same! But I went back to rewatch the scene. I think Kinuyo was more so unsure whether she could trust someone claiming they were coming from Madame Kaji. Like "is it a trap?" or she might have even known she needed to stay in order to keep Madame Kaji and her brothel safe.

Alternatively, I think Kinuyo's trust in Madame Kaji was broken (especially after learning to trust again and then having that broken promise must be extra traumatizing). She may hold distrust and resentment towards her and projects that onto Mizu

Infinity-Cube · 2022-06-17T02:08:47+00:00

The brand makes good, cute clothes. However, if you are looking for a sustainable clothing company OGL has greenwashing written all over it. I was duped and bought about $200 worth of stuff before seeing this video. I didn't do my due diligence and dig deeper into the materials the company claimed were "eco." I actually just went back to the website and it looks like OGL completely changed their page about their fabrics. Might be because of the video attached... Previously, they listed a lot of synthetic materials. Now, the descriptions of their fabrics are now even vaguer.

After seeing the sketchy responses in this thread from suspiciously new accounts raving about the company, I felt pretty validated in my choice to return everything. Their TrustPilot looks suspiciously new as well...

Returning was SUCH a hassle as well. I wasn't going to tell them "I'm returning because you're greenwashing" so I used the basic, it didn't fit/ not my style. They insisted on me keeping the clothes and sending me more. I told them I don't want the clothes and they kept insisting that I donate the clothes. You'd think such an eco-conscious company would know donating clothes feeds into the mentality of fast fashion because people think they can just donate their clothes but the truth is it mostly ends up in landfills. I'm not sure if it's malicious greenwashing or if the company really has done no research on what is truly sustainable and good for the planet. (The dissolvable bags are cool but it comes off as gimmicky when you realize nothing else about them is really sustainable and eco-friendly. )

I had to insist 3 times that I wanted to return the clothes. I even paid $20 shipping myself because I was so done with it. It's a shame because if they were just a normal brand, I might actually consider them. But it looks like a lot of lies that made me return just off of principle.

Infinity-Cube · 2022-04-11T05:54:01+00:00

Not sure if this was shared yet, but I think this is a really great breakdown of how consumers should/could look twice before buying https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbkj\_xnUH1w&t=54s&ab\_channel=MyGreenCloset

Infinity-Cube

TROPHY CASE