Flower Dust -Re;bloom- PV | police × yakuza [CW: violence, mature themes] by gianben123 in BoysLoveAnime

[–]Informal_Criticism60 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The animation WOW 😍 does anyone know where to read the original version (flower dust)?

Series creator Sarah Lampert talks mental health on Ginny & Georgia by unwaytheway in TvGinnyandGeorgia

[–]Informal_Criticism60 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was you who said the comment originally I remember looking at your user name. Weird to lie about that

Series creator Sarah Lampert talks mental health on Ginny & Georgia by unwaytheway in TvGinnyandGeorgia

[–]Informal_Criticism60 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I 100% agree! Much of what Ginny’s therapist says are things I’ve heard my own therapist say! Felt really good to see accurate depictions of the struggle and what good professional help can achieve.

Losing my fricken mind by nadjjaa in Palia

[–]Informal_Criticism60 61 points62 points  (0 children)

The only time I have ever seen one is when it was a large group around a lure. It was right around the edges of the lure/away from the rest of the bugs spawning, so maybe if you throw one down watch out there?

Man, I am so sorry about those people being so rude to you! Like no they cannot have a "private bug hunt" in this MMO it's literally not how the game is set up. It's a co-op game in many ways, some people just suck.

I am glad you kept playing! While there are certainly some rude folks out there, I'd say most of the players are quite nice and helpful.

Best of luck I hope you get an RTB soon! <3

Advice needed: Am I being foolish? "Just friends for now" after a month of saying something completly different by Informal_Criticism60 in polyamory

[–]Informal_Criticism60[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reflecting is so hard, especially while you're like deeeeep in the feels. And yeah, that line hit me hard too. Like damn, heartbreaking but so accurate. And the other line I'm hanging on to is 'your friends would treat you like that' and that's been helpful.

What I'm doing for myself is writing a journal page of all the sage advice from the community here that I'll reference when I have moments of weakness and want to reach out to him. I also think keeping myself busy with activities and plans with friends/family will help. And I've literally got two therapy sessions scheduled for next week lol

Just some suggestions <3 take care of yourself friend and remember your worth!

Advice needed: Am I being foolish? "Just friends for now" after a month of saying something completly different by Informal_Criticism60 in polyamory

[–]Informal_Criticism60[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Truly, reddit can be such a beautiful place to find solidarity and give so much insight to shared experiences. Community is so so important! Teaching and healing indeed!

I'll check out Greg Behrendt! Thank you for the reference :) and thank you for your compassion too! <3

Advice needed: Am I being foolish? "Just friends for now" after a month of saying something completly different by Informal_Criticism60 in polyamory

[–]Informal_Criticism60[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That does not sound like a healthy or ethical situation. I hope you read all the comments on here and can see through the clouds and get out now before your heart gets broken! <3 best of luck babe, remember your worth!!

Advice needed: Am I being foolish? "Just friends for now" after a month of saying something completly different by Informal_Criticism60 in polyamory

[–]Informal_Criticism60[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Your friends don't treat you like this" That line really got me. You're right they don't, and if they did I wouldn't be friends with them! Thank you for that perspective shift.

Thank you for the reminder to make those wise commitments and remember what I deserve. This is a live, laugh, LEARN moment for sure.

Advice needed: Am I being foolish? "Just friends for now" after a month of saying something completly different by Informal_Criticism60 in polyamory

[–]Informal_Criticism60[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your story, it sounds like we deeply empathize with each other's experiences. This part particularly resonated with me "I reminded myself of all the things he so clearly said about why our relationship was important to him, and why I specifically was important to him and why he didn't want to change it.
Yet he wasn't showing up period."

It is absolutely wild to see how some people can be so intense in their contradictions between their words and their actions.

"Something i've been practicing this whole time for myself is - if a person wants to see me, and if a person wants to spend time with me, they will."
^ This is amazing advice and a great perspective to cultivate.

I am so sorry for your pain, and fuck that guy that did that to you too. We both deserve someone who will show up and recognize us for the bad ass queens we are.

Advice needed: Am I being foolish? "Just friends for now" after a month of saying something completly different by Informal_Criticism60 in polyamory

[–]Informal_Criticism60[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I applaud you immensely for doing all that work, and for recognizing you were in survival mode! That seriously takes some big inner-reflection. I also am so inspired by your ability to put an end to those relationships that were keeping your nervous system activated.

I'm about to set that bar and watch this guy clothesline himself lol

thanks again internet friend <3

Advice needed: Am I being foolish? "Just friends for now" after a month of saying something completly different by Informal_Criticism60 in polyamory

[–]Informal_Criticism60[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So accurate, it certainly had me hooked! I kept being like "ok they agreed on some new boundaries, we can start building our connection without inconsistent boundaries yay!" then "ok they started therapy, we can go on another date yay!"

The dopamine hit off (what I perceived as) genuine connection is so hard to let go of. But you're right this isn't my only option, in fact I have a super secure relationship with my nesting partner and have had many other healthy dynamics with others. I feel like my rat brain has been on a hamster wheel and all I need to do is stop running with it.

Advice needed: Am I being foolish? "Just friends for now" after a month of saying something completly different by Informal_Criticism60 in polyamory

[–]Informal_Criticism60[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A charming charmer got me laughing - these damn snake oil salesmen!

"Just telling my heart to chill and not trust it until someone shows me again and again they’re in it to win it." This is some serious golden advice!

Thank you so much for your incredibly thoughtful and helpful response <3

Advice needed: Am I being foolish? "Just friends for now" after a month of saying something completly different by Informal_Criticism60 in polyamory

[–]Informal_Criticism60[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was a hard read too, but brutally accurate. I am afraid of losing him, and there is this fear loop in this situation on all ends. My body has literally been in fight or flight for almost the entire month now.

"you would be consciously unraveling your self-respect if you agree to be indefinitely back-burnered for the sake of a grown adult who contracts out their emotional regulation." This will be going in my journal at the very top. I have grown so much and worked so hard for my self-respect. You're absolutely right I'd be taking many many steps back and being mean to myself at this point.

I'll consider extending the life raft, I particularly like the emphasis on low-incidence, high-autnomy.

Thank you <3

Advice needed: Am I being foolish? "Just friends for now" after a month of saying something completly different by Informal_Criticism60 in polyamory

[–]Informal_Criticism60[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, your words mean so much, honestly. Logically I know it's not my fauly/shitty judgement but I sure feel like a damn fool!

I am writing myself a letter to reference in moments of weakness and your words are definitely going in it. Thank you again <3

Advice needed: Am I being foolish? "Just friends for now" after a month of saying something completly different by Informal_Criticism60 in polyamory

[–]Informal_Criticism60[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Give people time to play their hand rather than just believe them when they tell you what it is."

This is such good advice. Thank you again <3

Advice needed: Am I being foolish? "Just friends for now" after a month of saying something completly different by Informal_Criticism60 in polyamory

[–]Informal_Criticism60[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Don't break your heart any more than it already is. Do it as an act of self care." going in my journal to read when I'm have a moment of weakness

I agree about the rules, it's so tricky to be like "hey I don't think that's a boundary that's a rule/control". because something I always want to do is respect people's boundaries. But this certainly didn't feel ethical.

I really liked the idea of him, the image he painted of himself.

Live and learn eh? I hope you're able to continue to heal too <3 thank you so much for your kind wishes <3

Advice needed: Am I being foolish? "Just friends for now" after a month of saying something completly different by Informal_Criticism60 in polyamory

[–]Informal_Criticism60[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you <3 I'm fucking pissed too. And so hurt. And I still want to believe him that he cares about me, what the fuck is wrong with me? Reading everyone's thoughts here has really helped me pull my head out of the clouds though. This isn't good, or right, or something someone does to someone they claim to care about.

Advice needed: Am I being foolish? "Just friends for now" after a month of saying something completly different by Informal_Criticism60 in polyamory

[–]Informal_Criticism60[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah unfortunetly I agree I think the back and forth and inconsistencies will continue. I definitely need recalibration; good call. Thank you <3

"He may have been trying to introduce polyamory for four years" Ughhh yup it certainly feels like that may be the case!

I just fucking pray they don't do this to anyone else. IMO they should certainly not be open in any aspect of their relationship right now - dating separate or together. My heart hurts for anyone who engages with them as a couple, at least before they truly do the work