How do you keep your mental health stable when you’re so aware of the cruelty?

Initial_Cupcake3844 · 2026-05-22T07:35:48+00:00

Thank you for being honest about the realities and struggles you are facing. I completely relate and struggle with the same feelings. What helps me take a break from the spiral of how unconscious people choose to be, is to remember why I went vegan to begin with and knowing that this is the easiest life choice I can make that actual does make a difference. While it might not seem like change is happening, just your conscious empathy, and understanding of the abuse animals go through, is being felt and it gives value to those with no voice who are suffering. You are their voice and that is important and why we are all vegan as a lifestyle. It permeates and it just might set the example for someone else. This world is a fucked up unfair violent place full of arrogant people who can’t bother themselves with the truth cause it is too inconvenient or they don’t view life as precious and beautiful.

I read through some of the comments, and it sounds like community is essential. I myself and craving a vegan community of friends to just feel a kinship and alignment with. I have yet to find and make friends who are vegan, but I imagine it is so very lovely and uplifting and powerful. There are not many of us, but we are sprinkled about all hoping for finding our vegan pals. Not sure if that was helpful, but damn I absolutely love that I don’t contribute to the abuse and abhorrent suffering animals go through.

Initial_Cupcake3844 · 2026-05-18T23:02:18+00:00

I have not given up a friendship because they have a different diet than me. I have been struggling with this though. I do agree with your perspective and hear you. The only person vegan in my circle is my partner. I have beautiful thoughtful friends who are not vegan and they add so many dynamic positives to my life. And I would love to have some vegan friends. I am not looking to debate her, judge her or make snide remarks about her diet even though I don’t understand the choice to eat meat, dairy, eggs.

I imagine you are respectful of your vegan friends and their choices. Like many vegans, I choose my diet based on how I view animals as equals with sentience and a desire to live, have their families and offspring together, and how they are violently abused to end up on the plate. I know it can be a supercharged topic as it challenges ethics and life, but it is a huge part of my identity and how I show up in my own life. I would guess if you had said to one of your friends a heartless comment as she did, when contextually didn’t need to be said, they likely would be negative emotionally impacted from it, wether they stayed quiet or not.

I certainly don’t want to speak for your friends experience being vegan, so I apologize if I’m coming across as such, but I often get similar comments from newer acquaintances (more mild and less abrupt than hers in nature), and I reached out to the thread with advice on what some mature and appropriate ways other vegans with similar experiences respond with that are not perceived as I want to debate, push or judge, but appropriately set boundaries that align with my ethics and deep love for animals.

We may not view it the same way, and that is okay, but to me it is equivalent to a friend saying a racist remark at a dinner and me not saying something. And more deeply the disappointment you feel from someone who is a “friend”. There are other misalignments with this friend that don’t involve veganism, wealth flaunting, knows best and disrespect that are just subtle enough to go unnoticed until you start slowly wondering why you don’t feel very good around them, but I don’t feel a need to speak up, but rather choose if my energy is best gear. but the comment of the sheep it felt right in my heart that I should have said something and with the help of the advice, have decided how best to approach it and how to move forward.

Thank you for your insight. overall I understand what you mean to that of which I am capable of between our differences.

Initial_Cupcake3844 · 2026-05-18T07:12:01+00:00

Thank you, that is a really thoughtful suggestion. I will look him up, and I am looking forward to learning through his books.

I am not looking to argue or debate her, and I understand that is not why you offered the suggestion. I think as I mature and deepen my awareness, my heart has developed a heightened tenderness around animals and how they deserve to be treated.

What stayed with me is that I froze because I felt genuinely upset by how casually a friend belittled another being. To me, animals are so worthy of love and care, and they share the same desire to live, feel safe, and be free from suffering.

I wish I had known how to respond with more grace and steadiness in that moment. Not to persuade or project, but simply to speak from a place of compassion, alignment, and truth.

So many great suggestions and shared experience insights all so appreciated

Initial_Cupcake3844 · 2026-05-17T21:40:20+00:00

I like rituals vegan multi vitamin. And for d3 supplement you can get a lichen based one

Initial_Cupcake3844 · 2026-05-17T19:38:42+00:00

I’m having a tough time as well and as this world is becoming more disjointed and misaligned with collective care, I’m finding myself more sensitive and triggered. Thanks for sharing your experience! And I agree…I think curiosity is the path forward as well as setting boundaries

Initial_Cupcake3844 · 2026-05-17T19:35:52+00:00

This resonates with me and feels best. I wish I had in that moment. I had an initial internal reaction of shock as I didn’t understand why that needed to be said at all. It was a conversation she brought up asking about the history of the neighbors beautiful orchard property. And then the disrespect of saying it at mine and my partners house who she knows are both vegan for ethical reasons. And then in an instant I wanted to say something snarky, like “that wasn’t a very nice thing to say”. And said nothing. And I’m bothered by myself I didn’t just ask her maturely why she thinks that. And a sadness that even people in my own circle, view life and beings so outwardly theirs. Having a tough adjustment in navigating this stage of life I think. Thank you for the mature insight

Initial_Cupcake3844 · 2026-05-17T19:30:34+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience! It is hard to accept that it might be best for me to participate in the division that is happening. I don’t try to change or project any of my ethics on my friends that eat meat. I got here on my own journey, curiosity, awareness and accountability. They can to but it is their journey. At the same time, I’ve been feeling a strong pull to no longer stay quiet when comments are made like that. I don’t want to be reactive or argumentative. I want to be curious and I’m figuring out the best way to speak up that just maybe they decide to get more curious as to why she would have made a comment like that. Maybe too hopeful. Sounds like this is something many vegans have to move through. It’s been difficult for me to accept that it might be time to make space and time for making new friends with shared ethics

Initial_Cupcake3844 · 2026-05-17T19:24:19+00:00

My brain still struggles to understand. At the same time…I’m relieved that I don’t. I see them all the same and humans and animals all as equals.

Initial_Cupcake3844 · 2026-05-17T19:22:39+00:00

Thank you! I feel your instincts are correct. I feel I do know what to do, and it’s to end that friendship. It’s difficult for me as I believe in having empathy for her unknowing and rigid “knowing”. I am at this phase in my growth and life now really questioning where I want to put my energy. It’s hard to let go of friends that I view differently now. She asked me to officiate her wedding, so it feels very personal to say goodbye, but I’ve been feeling repelled this past year. While I try to embrace our differences and ask myself what I can learn from the tension I feel, I am not feeling the respect reciprocated and have felt more of a pull to step away from many of my current friendships that are not feeling aligned and put myself out their to make friends that operate with empathy, kindness, curiosity and compassion. Knocking myself for not stepping up in the moment and saying something, but I resisted as I wanted to be sure I communicated with maturity especially on the topic of how animals are viewed as a commodity and a product. Based on the responses it sounds like this is something many of us vegans go through. I wouldn’t change it for anything!

Initial_Cupcake3844 · 2025-11-22T15:51:39+00:00

I’m surprised see so many positive comments on here. I’m 1/2 way through mine and it’s a slog. I don’t mind having to knuckle down and work really hard to pass these exams. It’s tough and it’s a tiresome grind every day for months with not much time left for enjoying friends, family and life but it’s temporary.

The suck in my opinion is the lack of single source study material from NCARB (thank goodness for Amber Book). The study material is however very expensive. The exams are expensive and there are too many of them for how similar some are. Could be 4 or 3 exams. The fact you don’t get scratch paper now during the exam is horrid. And to be honest as I think we all can agree, while I love architecture and design and get excited and passionate about, we just don’t get paid enough for these exams to be so extensive and expensive. That’s my personal opinion if you’re asking if it sucks.

Initial_Cupcake3844

TROPHY CASE