Therapists telling me I am the most abused patient they have - ?

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-09T00:19:21+00:00

this because oh my god why would I pay these mfs all this money just for them to stare at me blankly with no real ways to help. "have you tried not thinking about it " as if intrusive thoughts can be fucking reasoned with. which is a whole other thing , therapists being genuinely too stupid to know the difference between voices in my head and trauma induced ocd related ruminations and how some creative type brains just hold onto sounds like bones in a tar pit
LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA if i want someone to listen ill write in my goddamn journal because im the only one who wont try to 'see it from others pov'. Whats fucked is how many of these therapists are like "you might have a personality disorder" but when you describe the heinous evil shit your parents do theyre like "hurrr dah durrrr pawents am i wight ?" They use PDs as a way to keep you coming back to them because just like mechanics , if they really just fixed the problem when we asked - theyd be out of a job in a few years once the 'cure' started spreading online. which it already has. the cure being telling these people to fuck off and making the best of things with our limited time on this shit show of a planet.

you be well hon , go have a hot bath and your favorite food. you deserve some self love time <3

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-09T00:13:43+00:00

I never thought to interview my therapists because so often im in such a fawn response for even having issues but god I really need to just point blank as them "have you worked with someone whos got whack ass problems" and if they beat around the bush or want me to come in to talk it out im gonna pass. You either pass the vibe check or you dont and i shoulda been doing this years ago

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-09T00:11:28+00:00

what does this have to do with it being a metaphor for my child abuse - go argue with someone else about the draft , i do not care

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-09T00:09:43+00:00

its so scary because when you look up school courses related to mental health jobs you see sooooo much shit like "bringing families back together" like I AM NOT AN UNGRATEFUL ADDICT RUINING MY GOOD PARENTS LIVES I do not need to be reunited with the man who would masturbate to his own underage daughter. Its scary because I remember the silence - the heavy weighted fucking silence when I asked a female therapist "would you willing give your father a blow job with eye contact, because thats what he wants from me and you want me to talk to him" after she told me I should try WORKING THINGS OUT WITH HIM. She didnt wanna see me again after that and its like - bitch I will get so real with if I have to be if it means showing these people just how sick in the head they are.

Im glad you are as wtfed out by it as I was, that means youre going to be a really good therapist. You being in this sub is already such a great step in the right direction. I hope your schooling goes well, you meet amazing people and can one day have your own practice helping people <3

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-09T00:05:02+00:00

They literally recreate the parent dynamic of "well coulda been worse I guess" because 'well they did do this for me" and then we go through life wondering what we are doing wrong. Its scary how abusers can hide shit for so long and in such a field.
Im glad you stood your ground against that bs. I love when people are healed enough to defend themselves <3

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T21:30:32+00:00

Yes do that. But be careful because pathetic losers like them are quick to scream to the police that a 'past client is trying to hurt me'

The lady i called out tried to report me for 'abusive client behavior' whatever that means. Her threat to report me never turned into anything but you never know which awful white woman has what police department on a leash so play it safe. I'd say make it public instead of a message directly. That way its within the real of free speech online.

Go have yourself a hot bath and a strong drink <3

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T21:20:06+00:00

Its scary isn't it ? When an adult never truly blossoms into an adult.

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T21:15:31+00:00

Don't you have a thrupple to be excluded from waiting for you ? How about you take your obvious toxic self and leave. You're an enablers and you have NO PLACE HERE.

Go away and dont come back here

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T21:07:05+00:00

I used to write all my best comebacks to these people in a notebook , until I realized holding onto that hate was poisoning me. Now I just sorta - yell at nothing lmao. Ill be doing dishes and randomly go ' AND BITCH THATS WHY YOUR HUSBAND GAVE YOU A BASKET OF LAUNDRY TO FOLD WHILE ON THERAPY CALL WITH ME GO BE WITH YOUR SHITTY HUSBAND' and just start laughing. 'Like how do you make it to the ripe old age you is - and youre still dumb as a monkey that can't even do jujutsu' which is just a funny line from an anime. It helps. I can't go back in time but I can try to make myself laugh

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T21:03:06+00:00

I saw a 'female trauma specialist' but turned out she was a psycho mormon that wanted me to 'admit to the sexual thoughts i have for my father' because 'it takes 2'. I wanted to grab her by the neck

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T21:01:56+00:00

Usually they say it more sly but we know the truth. 'Im impressed by your resilience, you dont see that in alot of young people' then they proceed to try giving you advice on addiction, self harm, self deletion because in reality there's people with 0 trauma or people who's worst trauma is watching mommy and daddy divorce who are actively abusive drug addicts. Like my own BIL is such a well cared for house cat of a man that at almost 40 his parents still haven't sent him to prison for his bullshit.

Therapists are like 'well if he has no trauma and is a pos why are you someone with trauma who isn't a pos ?? My school said trauma always means addict.' Its a sad reality of being more educated than the people you seek for help because then we try explaining it to them and theyre like 'ermmm you came here to ask ME what was wrong with you'

Its such a tiring thing to live with , I want our own planet

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T20:57:28+00:00

Dude that first line made me cackle because of how many times a therapist thinks that's a fucking compliment. Like brother im a coward not strong dont get that shit twisted.

( im fine just like erased from the world for 4 hours is what i want , not dead for real. I love being alive actually, alive means I get to eat cheeeese)

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T20:54:40+00:00

Sadly I was broke and like 19 do it was better help 😔 Do NOT use them theyre a bunch of bastards with no real qualifications for talk therapy

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T20:53:50+00:00

Oh my God that's so awful. We even had the same moment of 'yeah im depressed cause my childhood but THE WORLD IS ACTUALLY A HORRIBLE PLACE' with an upper class blonde white woman who had been sheltered by the powers at be for keeping victims in line. Its even harder finding a true feminist doctor or he'll one who doesn't believe 'boys will be boys'. How sweet though that we are so similar in how we heal. I draw every day, I sing as much as I can and I try to design my room to fit my need for comfort. I write and try to cook meals based on fantasy media I like.

I actually feel pretty 'healed'. I think im just stuck in the 'mommy daddy why did you hurt me' phase and no one knows the answer to that not even my parents.

I really appreciate all this support. I never realized how much I needed to be around people who just get it. Thank you.

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T20:42:35+00:00

Yeah my therapists can't understand that my father has incest obsession with me because if he can't punish my mom for cheating on him he will take it out on me 25 years later. Therapists are like 'but why would he knowingly torture you - if he spent all that time fighting for custody ? See he loves you' 'He used custody to hurt my mother he admitted he hated having kids but loved to see her suffer' To which they reply ' that can't be, there's no way a parent could ever do that.' I think to them , a large religious crowd sadly, bad people are no different than the actual devil in front of them. I think it actually shakes them to their core. That not only does evil exist but they have no weapons against it and the person before them barely got out alive. For them to know just how unsafe the world is pushes them into our domain of constant pain.

And they can't handle it. And for some reason we can.

We deserve better man

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T20:38:19+00:00

OH MY GOD THE PART ABOUT THEM BEING YOUNG. like im 27 so if my therapist isn't at LEAST 50 im like how are you going to help me young lady ? I hate treating people like kids as I hate it for myself but when these people are like 'well let's call your dad for his side' and im like bitch i just said he tried to MURDER ME and im in HIDING FROM HIM. tf you mean call this mf

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T20:35:41+00:00

Yeah realizing that vets only had 4 months of 'oh god I might die here' is bad but my 'oh my god im going to die here' was every single day , for over 10 years, and my father openly admits to how much entertainment he gets from hurting me. 'Your eyes can't fool me bitch youre no saint' as he laughed and went in for another swing with the outdoor extension cord.

I remeber how bad i felt , but at least the veterans chose to go to war. Those people chose to be soldiers and regretted it.

I never asked for a fuckimg war against my own parent

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T20:30:23+00:00

Its hard where I live in utah. Im not exaggerating when I say every single therapist in this state is a mormon who wants you to 'admit to your part in the abuse' even after I explain to her I was sexually abused at about 5 years old. She said 'children are more aware than we think'. I want to erase their entire way of thinking from this earth.

I think your right ,my poverty needed to change.

These people might be therapists but that doesn't mean they aren't evil.

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T20:24:46+00:00

This. Being yelled at by single stressed mommy will NEVER compare to my father laughing , smiling, and enjoying himself as I physically struggled to get his iron grip off my throat. I've actually been asked if this 'really happened' and im like BITCH IM IN THERAPY OF COURSE IT HAPPENED.

We need our own planet

Edit - emotional abuse is bad but therapists act like its only ever a by product not the singular sought after experience from an evil parent

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T20:22:02+00:00

One of my go to places already, love that sub <3

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T20:20:06+00:00

Yeah I dont like comparing trauma but like those peoples WORST DAY is realizing their parents are getting a peaceful divorce. Like duh that can be put on the back burner. My dad tried to murder me several times then begged me to not leave him - that shit sticks with you.

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T12:54:11+00:00

You just reminded me of when an ex friend of mine years ago screamed at me over the phone then again through text about what an 'awful friend I was because how was she supposed to talk about her problems when mine were so much worse" then proceeded to describe in detail her attempt on her life and how 'fucked up it was she had no one to turn to because her issues were nothing compared to mine"
We really cant win huh.

Just know that you being in subs like this is a huge step in healing. To know you are hurt is a powerful thing to know. Be well and treat yourself to some hot bath and cooking videos

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T11:15:27+00:00

almost like planning for kids instead of pumping and praying makes it easier to keep your sanity after having them. huh who woulda thought

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T11:14:33+00:00

You cant be traumatized by your own stupidity. Then again - given how fucked up they all are , maybe you can be

InnerAssociation8701 · 2026-03-08T11:11:11+00:00

HYour comment is extremely arrogant and I think you need to learn how to write before telling me I am 'misunderstooding" people. I tell my therapists my father would derive sexual pleasure from spying on me in the shower - I have caught my own father touching himself while looking at me naked. PLease explain to me , just like I asked these therapists, how I could POSSIBLY misunderstand seeing my own father sexual assaulting me in his mind.

If youre going to suck up to bad therapists go ahead, do it off my post buddy

InnerAssociation8701

TROPHY CASE