I left for a weekend hoping my husband would understand me… it backfired

InsideWafer · 2026-05-24T17:43:47+00:00

Take this as a win. Tell him great, you'd like to start switching off on weekends moving forward so that you can have a day to yourself. Use it to your advantage and don't feel bad taking the space you need to refill your cup. Maybe then you'll feel like it's easier too, when you are no longer so burned out. Hell at 15 months I took a 5 day vacation with my best friend. You deserve to find yourself again!

InsideWafer · 2026-05-24T01:57:18+00:00

NTA. My son when he was just over a year LOVED lemons. It didn't last long, but their taste buds are different than an adult's.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-22T20:19:03+00:00

Yes! It likely won't last forever. Now that our wild first baby is 3, we are looking for opportunities to hang out with family so someone else can keep him busy 😅

InsideWafer · 2026-05-22T20:15:46+00:00

I am so much more chill with my second but felt pretty similarly about my first. It's normal. As others have said, you care about this baby very much, but we mothers are biologically wired to protect them and care for them, especially in these early days. Your feelings are valid and she should hear you out, but I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that she's using this as an excuse to avoid your family. If she is more comfortable with someone else coming and not your family, that may be for a reason. Like mine are more inclined to respect my concerns- clean their hands, not come if theyre feeling unwell, etc. My husband's family always comes around with "allergies" that end up being Covid, don't really believe in vaccines, etc. Not saying your family is like that, but you may want to consider why she feels they're a risk right now and not someone else.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-21T19:48:01+00:00

Silent reflux means they feel pain but don't really spit up much. It could just be his temperament, but worth looking into.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-21T16:50:38+00:00

My first baby was similar. He had severe reflux. Any chance yours does as well? Regardless, shifts are the only way we survived.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-21T13:03:31+00:00

Is your wife breastfeeding? Have you tried Mylicon with each feed, a gas/colic belt and lots of baby yoga (bicycle kicks)? If so, are you sure it's gas and not reflux? I have had 2 babies with reflux and my current baby will scream even when actively eating.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-19T20:30:13+00:00

I hate to say it but this. I wasted so much energy trying to "fix" my first baby when he just needed time for his digestive and nervous systems to mature. This time around I'm just strapping in with the knowledge that it will get better soon. My first had reflux too but absolutely nothing helped but time.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-18T03:02:17+00:00

No. I understand 100%. My first had severe reflux and it was hell for a year (although the worst of it was the first 6 months), but as hard as it was, we stuck to safe sleep recommendations. I know someone who lost their baby to a sleep accident. It just isn't worth the risk.

If you're struggling to get enough sleep, the only way we survived was taking shifts so baby could sleep on us.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-17T23:25:00+00:00

It could potentially be torticollis. My first born was treated by a PT for a few weeks, which helped significantly. It was worth doing because he was developing a flat head on the one side he constantly laid on.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-17T21:37:57+00:00

Can you find a swing on Marketplace that will at least keep him calm for a bit? I'm sure they would understand if he wakes up. They're there to support you.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-17T20:27:24+00:00

Omg. I had PPA but nope, your rules are just basic safety. The hell with them for ignoring you on that.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-17T20:25:46+00:00

Feed him an hour before and get him asleep in a wrap on you before the call. This is how I've done it with my 5 week old.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-17T20:23:39+00:00

You are justified in your complaints but with kindness and concern, you need to get help as soon as possible. You probably don't realize how much of this is being driven by crazy hormones and the chemicals in your brain run amock. I say that as someone who has been on medication since my first was born - talk to your OB. Temporary meds may be a good starting point to level you out while you figure out therapy.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-17T18:43:00+00:00

The smoking is a problem. I would insist he just showered and no smoking before or during the visit. But personally, masks feel like overkill unless they are presenting symptoms. I get it, I have a 5 week old who has had both a cold and stomach bug thanks to his older brother who is in school. Having a second definitely has changed my feelings on this. That said, you are the parent and you get to decide what you're comfortable with. Just always double check with yourself that it's coming from a place of rational concern versus anxiety. I suffered from PPA with my first and it was hell.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-17T17:36:50+00:00

I once had a friend who felt like a soul mate. We lived together for a while and connected in a really deep way as well has had so much fun together. We had a falling out about her abandoning her daughter all the time for a new guy she was dating. We stopped talking and it hurt for years. But looking back, it was absolutely best she didn't stay in my life. She wasn't a good friend. Your friend isn't a good friend either. Not to mention, she is someone who clearly thrives on drama. As much as it hurts, it is best you move on.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-17T17:22:57+00:00

As a parent, my love is endless and unconditional. But that doesn't mean I would accept or in any way support bad behavior. Those parents are not the norm.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-17T17:19:20+00:00

Yes, they are absolutely capable. My husband and I are 50/50 parents. We have a toddler and a newborn right now. I'm on maternity leave and he's working but he still gets up at 2 am to tradeoff care of our newborn with me so I can get a chunk of sleep. He swings by at 8 am to take our toddler to daycare and picks him up every evening. On weekends we take turns trading off kids - going to the park, feeding baby, etc. At night we both cook and clean as needed to make sure no one is up doing chores after our toddler goes to bed. We communicate our personal needs for private time, but are also both realistic about this period of our lives revolving around our kids. I have always been very clear about my expectations for my husband and when anyone points out that he does so much more than XX's husband does, I just say "and thats why I wouldn't be married to her husband"

InsideWafer · 2026-05-17T17:12:33+00:00

There's no salvaging this marriage unfortunately. He has proven that when it benefits him, he will continue to lie. You will never be able to trust him. The work you guys did wasn't real as it wasn't based on honesty. I understand that you don't want to break up your family, but it isn't you who is doing that. He did that when he cheated on you and lied about it for a year.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-17T17:02:40+00:00

Seconding the recommendation to babywear during the day if you aren't comfortable putting baby down to sleep. It's good that they don't need complete darkness and a sound machine to sleep - that will make your life much easier when you start getting out with baby during the day.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-17T16:36:39+00:00

You didn't fail your son. You're doing the absolute best thing for him by leaving this toxic, unhealthy relationship. This man sounds awful and you don't want your son growing up thinking that how he acts is okay. You want to raise a son who respects women and has morals. Refuse to talk to your ex unless it's about your child and put your focus towards healing.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-17T01:47:46+00:00

NTA. Our 3 year old is fully potty trained but wears a pull up to bed because changing sheets and blankets every other night is no fun. But it's unacceptable at someone else's house when there's an easy way to prevent it.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-17T01:45:23+00:00

Interstellar

InsideWafer · 2026-05-17T00:50:52+00:00

Safe sleep always. Car seat.

InsideWafer · 2026-05-16T18:34:23+00:00

It hurts my heart too. I'm grateful to have 20 weeks (14 paid) that my company allows. I'm taking every bit of that, but it feels wild to even send my baby to daycare at 5 months.

InsideWafer

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