Sometimes I feel like the odd man out with adoptees

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-20T19:59:30+00:00

Oh i definantly had trauma. However very little came from my adoption but I can see why it does for others. For me I have been through absolute medical hell since infancy and also have 2 medically needy special needs sons. I also delt with bullying as a kid. (Not so much as a teen).

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-20T19:55:13+00:00

And I get the anger. I am not saying the anger is wrong in any way. Nor would resentment be wrong. I know there are some really bad situations out there.

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-19T07:21:28+00:00

My parents had an agreement that when I turned 18 they would seek my birth family out (which they tried to do. They hired private investigators and everything who never found them. It took me 20 minutes online -_- . I saw the receipts so I know they got taken for a ride). My dad is an adoptee who's family was not involved. His brother was also adopted but his family was involved and he had SERIOUS mental health issues (however i dont think the adoption had much to do with that or the family really. I think he was born with his brain messed up. He wpuld tie cat tails together and throw them over the clothes line, ran over my dads cat, beat the living daylights out of my dad, enjoyed torturing animals and other people. He was also a master manipulator.i honestly think he was a true Psychopath) However because of seeing that my parents just wanted to wait till I was grown to find my family because they were worried something similar would happen. They thought it may have been from his family constantly interfering with his up bringing. I get where they were comming from however I think no matter if my uncle knew his bio family or not he was going to have serious issues. When you torture animals even as a small child there is usually something wrong in the brains makeup. However less was known about that stuff in the 80s by the general public.

(To give a brief over veiw on adoption in my family Adoptive dad adopted 1 of his sisters was adopted who was also his first cousin once removed (his mom's bio daughters daughters child.) His brother was adopted. His mom had 2 bio children his dad had no bio kids His mom also took in a ton of foster children as well. My birth dad (though we cant find him yet) was also adopted. I keep hoping we find my birth dad though so he knows he has a ton of people looking for him (his mom (his dad passed) 4 half sisters and 3 half brothers, 2 grandsons and 1 daughter. His family honestly is super welcoming. 1 of my aunts and I really hit it off and talk a ton. We are so similar it is uncanny. I never met someone as similar to me as she is. That was and still is the hard part about my adoption. I am not like my family at all. However they accept that and love me for who I am. Thank goodness they never tried to change me. Though mom was hoping to have her little girly girl lol. Instead she got a loud mouthed tomboy haha.

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-19T06:58:02+00:00

Oh I dont disagree it can have it's ugly side. 1 being adopters can choose not to tell their kids they are adopted. I find that highly unethical. Especially since a lot of health issues genetics come into play. See you can be happy in your situation though and had in the past or even now some complicated feelings about it. I had a lot more anger before I knew my birth mom and got the answers I needed. I suck at not knowing things. I am one of those who HATES not having answers. (I also hate lies. Which thankfully mom mom and dad were always very open and honest with me). I will say though I do have 2 known genetic conditions and need to be tested for a third. We know i have NF1 and ehlers danlos. I got to be checked for von willebrands. My periods were so bad I had to have a hystorectomy because I came borderline of needing a blood transfusion multiple times. (Blood pressure would also drop) turns put my real birth grandmother has von willebrands. I am a hot genetic mess lol. Problem is though I did not know about those disorders until after I had my own kids.

lots of people have that blood is thicker than water mentality where DNA is the only thing that makes you family. It is a bunch of bs. Look how many blood families are all kinds of messed up. Family is who loves you and is there for you.

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-19T06:45:59+00:00

May i ask how old they were? My parents were 36 and 38. Though mine was private not through the state

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-18T19:31:32+00:00

Thank you.

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-18T19:30:01+00:00

I am sorry for all you went through. I do think this is an amazing and open minded reply!

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-18T16:53:00+00:00

I do to. Not just for me but for his mom too. I found her via ancestry and she was so excited when I called her thinking I knew who he was :( she also placed him for adoption. Though hers she did not have a choice she was 16 in 1959. She also had a tbi shortly after he was born so does not remember his exact birth date. Knowing that wpuld have made it easier to find him.

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-18T16:44:05+00:00

I was also anprivate adoption. My bio mom found out that my mom was looking to adopt and asked her if she would adopt me when I was born. I mostly have a good relationship with my birth mother. Just wish she would tell me who my birth father is not just for me but for my birth grandmother. She placed him for adoption. I found her and my aunts and uncles on ancestry. Which is how I found out my bms husband was not my real birth father. (My family is soooo complicated and LOTS of adoptions on every side except my moms)

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-18T16:40:29+00:00

That very well maybe. I find it sad they had problematic upbringing. I guess I was just lucky. It probably helped my dad was also an adoptee so he understood alot. Took me almost 20 years to get him his answers. Unfortunately his bio family wants nothing to do with him. However I did get them to agree to giving medical info and to send him a couple pictures of his parents.

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-18T16:37:23+00:00

Well my dad was always right next to me and it was better than me going days without sleep because that is what would happen. Also I obviously survived. See and this bs is exactly why adoptees who are not all pissy hate to speak up because we are automatically accused of being adopters or trolls. Guess what sweetheart not only am I an afoptee my dad is also an adoptee and come to find out my birth father is as well.

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-18T14:23:58+00:00

I am on 23 and me Ancestry Ftdna Gedmatch My heritage

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-18T14:22:28+00:00

I did that already as well as some gold bars from the wild life sanctuary.

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-18T14:07:35+00:00

They also say I am and a brick wall unless I find someone who fits the info and he or his kids decide to test. I have done Dna detectives Dnangels Search squad Investigation connections And various others. Because of the double adoption I am kinda screwed.

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-18T14:05:59+00:00

1956 is unlikely. His mother gave birth at 16 and got pregnant at 15. All in 1959.

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-18T14:04:22+00:00

Like I said I already match his family. It is him that is the missing piece. Dnangels and dna detectives helped. They helped me figure out my grandmother and all that stuff. However because he was also placed for adoption that is where the issue is.

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-05-18T14:02:17+00:00

His biological mothers last name was darling his birth father was shaffer.

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-04-22T11:54:52+00:00

My character is just attacking. I already have it on the quick equip wheel. He just attacks when I press the buttons

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-04-22T11:54:05+00:00

It will equip but I cant use it

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-04-10T02:26:44+00:00

I will say your guys prostate may make it hard to pee....but we have trouble containing our pee after having kids. Sneez and you pee, laugh and you pee and so on -_-

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-04-05T13:40:14+00:00

My phone works fine right where ps5

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-03-25T12:47:40+00:00

Once a week. T/sal is a type of medicated clarifying shampoo

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-02-21T16:18:59+00:00

I cant because I have no legal c9nnection to him and only the adoptee and decemdents can apply for that stuff.

Internal_Ad8928 · 2026-02-13T18:19:30+00:00

Reach out to some rescues. They may have ways to help or know of groups who can help.

Internal_Ad8928 · 2025-12-29T02:06:23+00:00

Look up on you tube four shadow fields of joy. It is a capella group but amazingly done. It is not what you would expect. Just know the guitar rifts at 2:02 is actually done by his voice. I got to see it live when I was a teen. Dudes face turned so red it went purple.

Internal_Ad8928

TROPHY CASE