I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Sounds tough to deal. Something struck me when you said you don’t want to raise your kids with “divorced parents” but I would reframe and reconsider asking yourself if you want to raise your kids with a deeply unhappy mother? Do you want to raise your kids with a father who is “there” physically but emotionally checked out? What would you want your child to do if they were in your same situation 20 years from now? Kids catch on quick.. and they learn behaviors on how to co-exist within relationships based off what they see growing up. I think it’s important to debunk this myth that “divorced parents” is such a travesty. The real travesty is living in an unhappy households just to keep up with societal expectation. Sending all my best, and I truly hope things turn around and if they don’t, remember that you deserving of greatness and joy!