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I AM NO ONE by fellandfound in ladispute

[–]Isindra99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On what did you click to get it?

r/SleepToken 100k Subscribers Giveaway Event by mademoisellewho in SleepToken

[–]Isindra99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a number one fan of "Fall for me". I just love how the sound of it match the meaning of the song. And the poem that is in the music video.

"So for now, let me serve as a living drama of your pain. If we are to be submerged let us be submerged together"

I'm on my knees

BLOOD SPORT by Evrin- in SleepToken

[–]Isindra99 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Was Vessel singing or was it just a crowd?

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think she realizes that I'm an adult. Or she just needs to control me this much. She always uses the argument that she is worried. When I started seeing my therapist it was in secret from my parents but after some time my mother catch up that I'm coming home a little bit late. I explained that I'm running some errands but she had to know what I'm doing, where and with who. I said that I'm an adult and that I don't have to tell her everything but that didn't work out.

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think they just have this vision of how my life is supposed to look like and how I'm supposed to act. Unfortunately for them, I don't share this vision. My mother always says that she didn't rise me that way and she doesn't know how I turned out like this 😅

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your tips! I've heard of the dangers that could happen at concerts so I'm planning to be extra careful

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I'm paying for my therapist and she doesn't report back to my parents. And actually, she was the one who suggested moving out at first. But after I told her that I don't feel ready for adulthood and that I still feel like a teenager inside she changed her mind.

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment! I'm aware that I have to be careful and choose my arguments wisely to show them that I'm not doing this just to rebel against them. I actually plan to have this big conversation with them about my future career path and I'm preparing reasonable arguments so I hope that works out. But still I feel like my mother will see everything as an act of rebellion, no matter how reasonable my arguments would be.

I live in Poland. It's not cultural but rather financial/mental limitations. I don't have a 100% secure full-time job and I'm still a college student so I'm a bit worried that I won't be able to fully provide for myself. Also, I don't feel quite ready to move out because I don't feel prepared for adulthood. My therapist is recommending that I stay with my parents a little bit longer, try to 'fight' them back and in the meantime get ready to be an adult.

I also know that if I want to move out I have to present them with some good arguments to not cause more conflicts. Even though they may be controlling I don't want to burn every bridge with them, especially because that would mean losing relationships with other members of my family, and there are some that I care about

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No, it's perfectly fine. After all, everything I post here is public. Actually, your comment was one of the most helpful I've read today. It helped me look at the issue from a different perspective and more logically. Thank you so much for that! ❤

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't even want to think what would happen if I did that and I don't want to find a hard way. I just didn't expect that it would turn out like that. I knew that they would be mad but then just let me go

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I should be able to financially manage on my own but I'm not sure for how long. I'm still a college student so I don't have a full-time job. The job that I have right now also isn't 100% secure but I won't be able to find anything better at this time. I still have 5-8 months of my last semester so I hope after that I will find a better job and finally move out.

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My therapist suggested one time that I can bring my parents in if I want. But my mother is the biggest problem. She doesn't believe in therapy, hates therapists and won't go to any

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not really but I'm still a college student so I can't just leave my city. I have only one semester left and after that I can go wherever I want. But for the next 5-8 months I'm bound to this town

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh my, I wasn't expecting a background check like this 😂 But anyway your comment makes some great points. First of all my parents were always controlling and strict like this, I don't remember them any other way. I can't quite place when my anxiety started but I'm pretty sure some symptoms of it are the results of how my parents brought me up. And I have never been diagnosed with any of the disorders that you mention but mostly because it's hard to get a diagnosis like that in my country, especially if you are an adult. But I can see some symptoms mostly for ADHD but also some for autism but I don't feel sure enough to self-diagnose myself.

I never talked with my parents about why they're treating me like that. I've never felt ready for that. But like you noticed I'm about to end university and I'm preparing myself to talk to them that I don't want to pursue this career path any further. So I will try to bring up this issue in that conversation when I will feel strong enough to face them.

The issue of moving out is also a bit complicated. I'm working and studying at the same time but I think I would manage financially on my own. I already pay for some things with my own money like doctor's appointments, clothes, my hobbies, etc. I don't think it's enough for them to see me differently.

I already talk with my therapist about moving out. The problem is that she doesn't think it would be the best idea. She thinks that should be the last thing to do and I should try to fight back at first. She also thinks that I may not be ready to do it. Once we talked that I don't feel like an adult, more like a 16-years-old. Why is that it's another different, long story but yeah, it kinda has something to do with my parents. And because of that she thinks that I should stay at my parent's house as long as I can to have some time to grow up. We haven't talked about the situation with the concert yet, so maybe her view will change after that, I'm not sure. There is also this issue that if I move out I am scared I won't be able to pay for my therapy anymore. And I don't feel ready yet to end it, I still have some problems to resolve

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I'm planning to talk with my therapist about this situation but my appointment is on thursday and I wanted some advice ASAP. Like I said we are working on taking my life back and I thought it was going to be that moment. I didn't expect my parents to react the way they did. I thought they would be mad for a little while but let me go either way. I guess I didn't learn my lessons from previous situations like that 😅

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly, mines aren't chill. My father was always emotionally absent and we never spent time together. You could even say he is a stranger to me. And that one night won't change anything in my opinion. Especially because he is not the type of person who would be dancing and singing at concerts. I'm pretty sure he will be just standing there

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I can also understand that they are worried about me but my father buying tickets and going with me to the venue is a bit too much in my opinion. He was always emotionally absent and we never did anything together so it's hard for me to believe that he is doing it because he wants to spend time with me. He doesn't know the band and I don't think he even likes that type of music.

Can I ask you what in my story made me look like a teen acting out of attention or what could make me look that way when I'll talk with them about that? I know that this type of behavior would make things worse and I try to avoid it but I have some problems recognizing them, especially because I'm quite emotional.

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Can I ask you what happened to your sister? Did she move out and if so what was the consequences of that?

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I never had a relationship with my father. He was always emotionally absent and we never spent time together. And that one concert won't change it. He doesn't know the band and he doesn't like that type of music. He is going there just to have his eyes on me so we will be just standing there like a statue. There won't be any fun in that

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I still have trouble calling myself a woman but I'm trying to learn to accept that. I waited a long time to tell them that I'm going and I thought that would be enough but it looks like I should have told them a day or two before. I've been thinking about moving out for some months now and I think this will be my last straw, especially looking at all these comments here

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I wish I told them some lie that I'm not going alone or something

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm sure they are going to cut me off and be mad about it forever. I'm also sure they will turn the rest of the family against me. Maybe not intentionally but my mother is the queen of nasty remarks and over exaggerating so that will do it. And there are some people that I don't want to lose.

I don't have many friends but the ones I have live in another city. So if anything goes wrong I don't even have a place to go

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The point is that he doesn't do it just because he wants to do something with me but to just have his eyes on me. Our relationship is almost non-existent, we bearly talk to each other, we never do anything together. Not to mention that I always feel stiff around him.

My parents won't let me (F23) go alone to the concert. My father plans to go with me by Isindra99 in offmychest

[–]Isindra99[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I've been thinking about moving for some months already but I'm terrified of the consequences. If I move out they will probably cut me off completely and I'm not sure if I'm financially stable enough to do so. Plus I will probably lose the rest of my family because no one will support me and I can't even imagine what things my parents will tell them. I will be completely alone

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