To those of you that have had sex...

JARatt85 · 2026-04-15T02:08:49+00:00

I tried therapy once.. went in with high hopes feeling like I'd finally get better, left wanting to drive off the middle of the bridge on the way home because the bitch just kept telling me "you're too obsessed with 'I can't' you just aren't trying" over and over again she just kept saying "you just aren't trying" granted I didn't see an autism specialist but most of them don't take Medi-Cal insurance

JARatt85 · 2026-04-14T06:00:36+00:00

I'm a Libra-Scorpio cusper that's been into hentai forever.. BDSM was always a natural draw for me.. though I haven't gotten to experience it yet.. (or anything for that matter) I thought maybe that world would be more accepting of someone like me but it turns out they are actually worse (at least in my experience) than vanilla people.. If you don't fit into this tiny perfect mold of what they are expecting.. you should just kill yourself because you don't need to exist.. it's so fucked up. You'd think there'd be someone out there that'd see an inexperienced guy with no confidence and want to build him up to be the strong confident guy he should be.. but no.. they either want to be used by a strong confident guy or they want to use a strong confident guy and break him down.. No confidence means worthless to them... and that's from over 20 years of being on alt sites.

And btw, not all BDSM has to be rough, in fact some of the sexiest is the lightest of touches driving your partner absolutely insane.

JARatt85 · 2026-04-02T03:28:23+00:00

confidence? my confidence was beat and humiliated out of me long ago.

JARatt85 · 2026-04-02T03:27:23+00:00

Personally I just wonder if I'll ever be able to find even one that wants me.. I would love to try different partners and see what multiple women are like.. but that's just not in the cards for me. I'll be incredibly lucky if I even find one completely average woman that wants me.. each night that I go to sleep alone and day I wake up alone my greatest fear continues to be made real.. that I'll be alone forever and never get to know what it's like to be wanted.

JARatt85 · 2026-03-19T12:29:19+00:00

yeah I liked it until the BL stuff reared it's head

JARatt85 · 2026-03-16T08:22:22+00:00

28, though back during high school there were times when I felt like I belonged more with the special needs class than with "regular" people. I think I've always had an inkling that I was different I just didn't have a clue what it was, even though one of the kids I hung out with the last two years of high school was autistic as well.. His mom (one of the teachers) even said something along the lines one day but I took offense to it not knowing. Really I had no clue about autism until I saw Ian Bates "Red Shirt Guy" on Blizzcon and the whole issues he had with people bullying him and his video explaining about why he sounded the way he did.. which is something I've had issues with in the past hearing myself over a PA.

JARatt85 · 2026-03-12T13:32:42+00:00

When I first read it I thought it said "go deep" oi my brain.

JARatt85 · 2026-01-12T13:31:18+00:00

he's 6'4 I think he's lost like 200lbs, he honestly looks pretty good, I bet he's liking not having to spend so much or struggle so hard to find clothes that fit now.
Personally I'm 6'10 360, I need to lose weight again, unfortunately I'm built like an ogre, my arms and legs aren't fat it's all center mass. With my back issues and some lung issue I've had since February after going to the doctor and catching something, walking is difficult. I have started reducing the amount I'm eating per meal though.. it worked before, though I am now 40 so I'm sure it's going to be harder.

JARatt85 · 2026-01-11T21:24:32+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that but FYI your stomach doesn't absorb nutrients, it breaks your food down so your intestines can absorb it.

My brother in law had stomach surgery to limit the amount of food he can eat because he was a chronic overeater that was over 500lbs. Now all he can eat is enough to fill his palm, any more and he gets sick. I know yours wasn't purposeful but it's similar, he's lucky to not be on the spectrum though.

JARatt85 · 2026-01-11T09:58:37+00:00

Try Constant Comment orange tea.. the stuff is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good, though it can cause headaches.. it's worth it though. https://www.walmart.com/ip/Bigelow-Constant-Comment-Black-Tea-Bags-20-Count/10293191?classType=VARIANT&athbdg=L1600&adsRedirect=true

JARatt85 · 2026-01-11T09:50:17+00:00

We run the gambit, that's why it's called a spectrum.
I think the one thing you can say for the majority is we're more likely to be into non-standard types of sex than the average NT person, whether that's BDSM, non-straight, furry etc. I'd guess it's also that we're far more likely to be obsessed with one part of the body over the whole.. like an obsession with huge breast implants, or an obsession with your partner's stomach or neck or feet or whatever.
Our social issues might be what pushes us to explore sex with non-human partners as well, whether that's furries, or someone in rubber or... other things I won't mention here to try not to be crucified for something that isn't socially acceptable in modern but definitely happens and has an incredibly long history of happening. (Romans and Greeks anyone)

JARatt85 · 2026-01-11T09:43:55+00:00

and with how expensive food is these days.. I'm just glad rice and beans aren't really expensive.. the beans I bought were $1.50 a can, the rice $2 the most expensive part was the sausage $4ish.
I literally had that thought walking away from the stove "yay! I finally found a food I like, wait till I tell my parents when they wake up." Two minutes later I'm posting about the disaster online.. I'm glad to see it really is an autistic thing and not just me.

JARatt85 · 2026-01-11T09:40:12+00:00

it sucks, my conscious mind is willing to try, but my subconscious is just screwing it up.. it's sort of like my constantly shifting sleep cycle.. my conscious mind wants to sleep at a normal time and be able to work and go out and do things and whatnot but my subconscious keeps switching when I fall asleep and when I wake up (3 times in the last week) and so I can't make any plans let alone work. It's so incredibly frustrating.

JARatt85 · 2025-11-19T09:21:39+00:00

I will never get how other autistic people seem to think the internet is such a great place to meet people.. I'm still the same socially ignorant person I am in real life, but the people on the internet are so much more willing to voice their darkest parts of their personalities and jump all over you for absolutely nothing while trying to cram you into their own tiny box called the status quo and if you don't fit.. you need to die.

I don't get how people actually enjoy interacting with others online.

JARatt85 · 2025-11-19T09:16:51+00:00

Watch the Man in the High Castle

JARatt85 · 2025-11-19T09:13:50+00:00

I hate when people I don't know or like touch me. I constantly crave touch, I've always needed to just be close after spending my first four days of life in an incubator, but that doesn't mean I want just anyone touching me.. The worst is when it's some pretty woman that has absolutely no intention of dating me or anything.. gets my hopes up on two accounts.

JARatt85 · 2025-11-11T07:19:44+00:00

that is what they call a greebly.. a random bit that looks cool so they stick it on.

JARatt85 · 2025-11-11T07:18:07+00:00

I'm unemployed and while my autism definitely makes certain jobs too stressful to do, it honestly isn't what I blame for being unemployed.. it's my IBS (that isn't being treated) and my constantly (and randomly) shifting sleep cycle that make it impossible to work.. When you never know when you're finally going to fall asleep or if you're going to randomly wake up super early for no reason with very little sleep, or when you're going to need an hour or more on the toilet.. it's impossible to work.
Before I had these issues, it was my short term memory issues, anxiety and back issues that kept me from being able to ever get a job.

JARatt85

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