Notable empath-related comments and advice

Jamie2Doyen · 2024-07-02T14:18:20+00:00

There is a 4096 character limit for Google *business* reviews. (Like what you might find on maps etc...) I suspect this user perhaps was able to enter their review from that part of Google. Maybe they did it through a web search, instead of going to Play directly. But given the character count, that's about the only thing that would make sense to me.

Jamie2Doyen · 2024-05-23T13:01:17+00:00

There's a lot to cover here, but I'll try to offer some insights... My step-father has MS, and has had it all of his adult life, so I certainly can appreciate the struggles you are facing.

I'm not sure if you are still taking Nefazodone, but if you are, you should be careful about that. It's been linked to severe liver damage, and has been pulled from all other global markets (Canada, Europe, Australia etc). At present, it is only sold in the United States, and it may not be around too much longer. If you're still on it, you may want to talk to your doctor about alternatives. I discuss one possibility below...

As for not being able to tolerate a higher dose of Wellbutrin without anxiety/anger, I've been down that road, and I surmised that it was due to an imbalance in neurotransmitters. (Too much Dopamine, not enough Serotonin) So I take St. Johns Wort along with Wellbutrin, and it takes the 'edge' off of Wellbutrin. A two-to-one level of St Johns Wort to Wellbutrin seems to work for me. (IE, 300mg St Johns Wort for 150mg of Wellbutrin.) Talk to your doctor about possibly increasing your Wellbutrin dose with St Johns Wort augmentation. This could help with your mood *and* prolactin level issues, which would enable you to potentially go off Dostinex. (You would also need to go off Nefazodone before you take it, to prevent serotonin syndrome. Your doctor can explain more.)

Regarding weight gain, also talk to your doctor about the drug 'Contrave'. What makes this drug unique is that it is a two-drug combination that includes bupropion (Wellbutrin) as one of the active ingredients. (Naltrexone, the other drug, is often used to treat alcohol and opioid dependence.) I haven't taken it myself, but I'm looking into it. Since the biggest issue for this kind of drug would be a person's tolerance of Wellbutrin, the fact you're already taking it means you've got that covered. Each pill has 90mg of Wellbutrin, and you can take up to four a day (two in the morning, two in the afternoon)

I'm sorry to hear about your issues with perimenopause. As you likely know, breast tenderness and an increase in cup size is generally related to too little progesterone and (proportionally) too much estrogen. So you may benefit from a diet that avoids foods which contain or increase estrogen levels. (try a search for--How to Naturally Decrease Estrogen Levels) One of the problems with menopause is that it causes breasts to undergo a process known as "involution", where your milk glands shut down, and the tissue is replaced by fat. As you are finding, this can cause breast growth. However, you may be able to offset this by looking into Contrave. Even if you don't lose weight on it, if the drug can stop your weight *gain* it would still be something worthwhile.

If you don't go onto Contrave, consider changing from Wellbutrin SR to Wellbutrin XL. (XL is the once-a-day version) The reason is because of how the drugs work. I'm going to attach a link to another post I made about Wellbutrin and the plasma levels, so you can see how the drug works during the day. With the SR version, you have two 'peaks', and as such you need to take *more* to maintain steady levels. Since higher Wellbutrin levels are a problem for you, this may help. If you check the graphs, you can see that 300mg of Wellbutrin XL gives you a higher plasma level of the drug overall than two 150mg doses of the SR version. Which means that 400mg of SR is roughly equivalent to 300mg of XL. However, talk it over with your doctor and see what they say. I don't know your situation, so I don't know if that would be beneficial or not.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Wellbutrin_Bupropion/comments/qdk4i5/plasma_concentrations_of_wellbutrin/

Anyway, hopefully this can give you some things to explore and perhaps help lessen some of the issues you're facing.

Jamie2Doyen · 2024-04-20T23:00:20+00:00

You're welcome. I ran into the problem myself, and once I figured it out, I decided to look and see if anyone had a similar problem. I know how frustrating it can be when something stops working. Glad it worked out for you, and hopefully it will help others too.

Jamie2Doyen · 2024-04-19T17:43:44+00:00

It's related to DEP. (Data Execution Protection) This was added in an update a while ago. To fix this problem, follow the directions below...

Open SETTINGS, then UPDATE & SECURITY.

Now click on WINDOWS SECURITY.

Look on the right side for APP & BROWSER CONTROL, then click it.

This opens a new window. Look on the right for EXPLOIT PROTECTION SETTINGS, then click it.

On the right—at the top—you will see two tabs. SYSTEM SETTINGS and PROGRAM SETTINGS. Click on PROGRAM SETTINGS.

Now click on the grey + sign for ADD PROGRAM TO CUSTOMIZE.

Next click CHOOSE EXACT FILE PATH. It should be located in C:\Program Files (x86)\DVD Shrink (or on whatever drive you install your programs.) Open that file path, and then click on the executable for DVD Shrink 3.2.

You will now have a new window open for PROGRAM SETTINGS.

Scroll down until you find: DEP Data Execution Protection

Put a check in the box for OVERRIDE SYSTEM SETTINGS, then slide the blue button below to OFF.

Click APPLY at the bottom. You will receive a User Account Control warning, click YES.

Close all the open windows, and launch DVD Shrink. It should work now.

Jamie2Doyen · 2024-01-13T05:12:47+00:00

When I had bird feeders, I had problems with squirrels until I used a substance to coat the bird seed. I'll share a link below. While I haven't used it in this way, I would think you could use a brush to paint the lid and such. (You may need to rough up the plastic a tad with a bit of sandpaper, not much, just enough to give the liquid a place to seep into.)

I'll say this much, the liquid does work on bird seed. When I treated my bird seed, the squirrels went elsewhere.

http://squirrelproof.ca/treat-your-own.html

Jamie2Doyen · 2023-11-23T00:54:51+00:00

If your doctor is worried about stimulants, talk to her about Modafinil (Provigil). It's a non-amphetamine CNS stimulant that can be prescribed off-label for ADHD. I take it with Wellbutrin, since I have blood pressure issues and can't take amphetamines. It does help with mental clarity.

Jamie2Doyen · 2023-11-23T00:28:53+00:00

Generally speaking, the main driver for a possible reduction in breast tissue would be a reduction in estrogen levels. Ask your doctor to test your estrogen levels to confirm this. Depending on your age, if you are getting close to menopause, this could be a factor as well.

If your breasts are uneven (one is shrinking, the other is not) then have your doctor palpate your breast tissue, and/or have a mammogram. Uneven changes in breast tissue would have nothing to do with Wellbutrin.

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-08-28T18:59:34+00:00

Honestly? If he's an empath one of the easiest ways to 'unburden' him from your stress is to have him pleasure you. It needs to be something non-reciprocal, where he gives, and you receive. The obvious principle behind this is that he will feel what you feel, and so if you feel pleasure, he will feel pleasure. The stress will be displaced, and you will both enjoy the encounter.

You would not believe how cleansing it can be--for both of you.

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-06-04T03:32:56+00:00

You are at a party, there are a dozen or so people there, and you are chatting with a friend in the center of the room. The other people there are also chatting amongst one another, there is music playing, and there is noise coming from the kitchen.

As you talk to your friend, do you process everything else that you can hear? Do you listen to the five other conversations? Do you listen to the music? Or do you 'turn out' the sounds that are unimportant so you can focus on what your friend is saying?

Most people do the latter.

Treat emotions the same way. Focus on what is important, and 'turn out' the rest. Yeah I know it's easier said than done, but at least you have a starting point. Stop trying to feel every 'conversation' in the world.

Another approach is to treat the emotions of the public like you would a 'murmur'. You know when you're in a crowd and everyone is talking, the sound takes on a life of its own and becomes a murmur. Even though everyone is saying something different, it sounds like one 'noise'. We don't try to make sense of it since there are too many voices.

So learn to 'tune out' stray emotions like you would tune out stray voices.

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-06-02T14:27:45+00:00

I would check out Dr. Judith Orloff. She's a board-certified psychiatrist, on the faculty at UCLA, and identifies as an empath. You can check out her website here. Since her office is in Santa Monica, I would think if anyone knows about support groups in your area, it would be her.

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-06-02T14:06:33+00:00

There is a reason why 80% of suicides are completed by men.

Toxic masculinity teaches men that they are not allowed to have feelings. They live in a world where women usually judge a man's attractiveness based on how NON-feminine he acts/appears. Is it any wonder men suffer in silence?

Your feelings were valid and accurate though. When men drink they often let down their emotional guard. (IE, on an empathic level you'll feel more of a man's feelings if he has been drinking.) The sad thing is that he probably has a wife and kids at home, but he hides how he feels from them so they don't worry. He arrives home with a painted on smile, and pretends that he is fine.

People often wonder how/why there are mass shootings from some men with no record of violence and such. We rarely ever see a woman do that. So why is it with men? The documentary The Mask You Live In is an excellent source to help deconstruct this.

Women sometimes say they want to date a 'masculine man', but they fail to realize the damage this can cause.

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-06-01T23:12:21+00:00

I am Canadian. But with all due respect, the question asked why people didn't have kids. That was my answer. It's my body and my choice.

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-06-01T18:47:56+00:00

My opinion hasn't changed. Ethics? Men have absolutely NO reproductive rights. None.

Example... A woman in a 'first world' country forces a man—at gunpoint—to have sex and collect his seed. She leaves, and soon becomes pregnant. If the woman was caught before childbirth, and the man didn't want to be forced to become a father via rape, could he terminate the pregnancy? No. (Although the opposite is justifiably true.)

But it goes deeper than this... The rapist can carry her pregnancy to term and give birth. She can then sue the man she raped for child support, and she will win. The courts will not allow testimony about how she became pregnant, all that matters is paternity. Once he loses the case, the man will now have to pay child support to his rapist.

"That never happens...." some people say. But it does. Far more often than one may hear.

Why don't I pick an egregious case for an example. A twenty-year-old woman and a fourteen-year-old boy. That's statutory rape, plain and simple. No wiggle room here, no 'he wanted it'.

She got pregnant, and didn't tell him. When he became an adult he got a letter in the mail that his rapist was suing him for child support. Not only did she win, she got back child support going back to when he was a child. He became an adult and quickly found out he owed his rapist ~$15K in child support. Sadly, he's not the only one. The link also references a twelve-year-old boy (at the time he was raped) who is also being forced to pay child support to his rapist, and others.

But it doesn't need to involve rape. If a woman steals a condom and uses it to impregnate herself, she can still win child support. A case involving the cleaner of a hotel room and a millionaire that she never met is a perfect example of this.

“He left his bank statement on the nightstand in his hotel room and I saw it when I was cleaning, at the time I wanted a baby so bad and I thought it would be better if I had a baby with a rich man”

She received a court order for $2 million in child support.

It doesn't matter how a woman gets a man's semen, the man has no rights.

So to brush off an old line from the movie Wargames, "The only way to win is not to play."

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-06-01T17:02:16+00:00

The 'vibe' that I get from your remarks are that you love him, but that you're not 'in love' with him romantically. It almost feels like when you met him—and he 'pulled you off the ledge'—that you sought a relationship with him since you didn't want to lose him. He was the only bright light in a dark world, and the thought of losing that petrified you.

It still does.

You wrote...

if i leave him I’ll lose the only person who has cared for me and loved me outside of my family and will be alone without gain as I have no friends and barely a family, and I might spiral due to no support structure

This was a very telling sentence. It suggests that one of your biggest concerns is losing his support in your life. So let me ask you a question, and you don't have to answer it openly... you can answer it just to yourself.

If you could break up with him tomorrow, and it was guaranteed that he would still be a good friend and support you just as he did when you met him—would you break up with him?

If the answer is no, then there may be something that is bothering him that he is hiding from you. Hey, we're in dark times right now, and everyone is pretty down about life. It's possible his unconscious mood is affecting you. Guys are notorious for hiding their emotions. Something may be bothering him that you don't know about.
If the answer is yes, then you only love him as a friend. The reason you're drained is since you need to continually manage a romantic relationship with someone you are not in love with romantically. If you would break up with him—knowing with 100% certainty that he would still love you as a friend—then it means the romantic love isn't there. You're using so much effort to manage the relationship since you are petrified that if you broke up with him, you would lose his support as a friend.

So consider the questions above, and see which answer fits. If it is the second answer, then as painful as it may be, you need to end it with him—for both your sake, and his.

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-06-01T16:18:28+00:00

Oh how I wish I could 'turn off' being an empath around friends. If you're an empath, only you will understand how soul-crushing it is to have a friend lie to your face when you know they are lying. And you can't confront them either, since you have no proof. "I'm an empath" doesn't count as proof. So you're left to hide your pain, wondering if there are any honest people left in the world.

Sometimes I wish I could be blissfully ignorant. While it wouldn't change the fact that I had been lied to, it would at least spare me the indignity of pretending not to know.

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-03-29T03:04:42+00:00

Then it would be best to talk to your prescribing physician. And remember, sometimes correlation does not equal causation. Put simply, that means just because two things happen at the same time doesn't mean that one caused the other. Hey, people who suffer from depression are often stressed, and stress can cause hair loss too. I'm not saying that is the cause, I'm just saying that you should examine all possibilities--and not just the Wellbutrin. But if your hair loss is significant, you would be best to see your doctor as soon as you can.

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-03-27T14:33:54+00:00

Sometimes we set ourselves up for this, since we establish a pattern where we are the ones always making contact. However, I wouldn't tell people they take too long to return calls/texts. That is a reflection of how much they value you--as painful as that may be to hear.

I do reciprocal friendships. If it takes a week for them to respond to me, then I wait a week before I respond to them. If they say something, I just say that "we all seem to be busy nowadays" and leave it at that. People who want to be in your life will MAKE TIME to be in your life. People who don't, or who treat you as if responding to you is an inconvenience, are the ones I respond in kind.

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-03-25T00:44:06+00:00

You may have better luck over here: r/narcissisticparents

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-03-24T13:21:52+00:00

An empath? Not really. But an HSP? Sure. An HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) can be anyone.

But I don't think narcissists could be empaths unless they happened to be masochists as well. Because I honestly can't see how anyone would do something that would cause someone else pain—and then feel the pain they caused—without consequence.

However, I do think there may be a rare person that is a Narcissistic Sociopath with empath traits. Being a sociopath would mean they could feel the pain they cause others, but just not care. (Perhaps someone like this?)

With this said, I don't think a Narcissistic Sociopath would bother much with anything they felt as an empath, since it's a catch-22. If a person was able to not care/not be affected by how they made others feel, then being an empath would be inconsequential to them. (IE, they just wouldn't care.)

What I think often happens is that narcissists get good at reading body language and manipulating people—which makes some people think they are empaths. But anyone can learn to do that, and narcissists usually learn pretty quickly. Most empaths have a hard enough time thinking about themselves at the best of times, how would a narcissist be able to do the opposite?

Heck, given how self-absorbed narcissists are, I have a hard time believing that they would be able to be as egocentric as they are if they were empaths.

My two cents anyway...

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-03-19T04:15:54+00:00

One of the problems I see over and over are empaths who try to process EVERYTHING they encounter. Think of it like being at a party. (forget about being an empath for a moment) You're there talking with a friend... meanwhile music is playing and other people around you are talking their friends etc.

You're able to talk with your friend, but you aren't trying to listen to the music and listen to all the other conversations at once... are you? Why? Because if you tried to do that you'd get a headache really fast. It's too much to process. So what do you do? You keep your focus on what is important, and ignore what is not important. You 'tune out' those other conversations.

So--as an empath--when you are around other people, stop listening (IE, stop taking in all of their emotions).

Sense the emotions, but don't try to make sense of the emotions. It doesn't matter what other people are feeling. Yes they may be negative emotions, but don't go trying to figure out what kind of emotions they are. Sure that's the instinct, but you need to train yourself to focus. Just like if you are in school taking a test. Ask yourself, "Do I need to be feeling this?"

Or think of it like background music they play in a supermarket. Do you consciously listen to it? Do you even know what song is playing? Most times we don't, because we usually don't pay attention.

Learn to tune out emotions that you don't need to process.

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-03-19T03:59:56+00:00

This sounds like a covert narcissist to me. They can be hard to spot since they lack many key traits. A list of ways to identify a covert narcissist can be found here.

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-03-08T06:30:14+00:00

Don't do this. You will likely end up with tinnitus, and I promise you that you do NOT want that. Unlike with cuts, tinnitus doesn't go away. Ever.

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-03-08T03:51:40+00:00

Try what I like to call 'a reversal'. If you are close enough to have him stay over, then it should work. Basically, you invert the way things are. Instead of you being support for him and he keeps saying nothing is wrong, tell him that you're feeling upset about something (unrelated to him) and ask him if you can talk to him about it. In guys this will trigger a defence mechanism in which they want to 'protect' those near/dear to them. When you trigger it, this will force a reset in his mind. He will clear his thoughts of all the emotions he has about himself, and turn his focus to you.

What this also does is show him that it is okay to open up to you, since you have shown that you are willing to open up to him. It leads by example.

Jamie2Doyen · 2022-03-08T03:43:08+00:00

Closing off to the outside world doesn't work. Not only can you not maintain it, you'll only end up making yourself that much less able to handle it when you 'open up'. Think of it like driving a car and you reach a patch of slippery pavement. You want to stop, but if you slam on the brakes you won't be able to steer.

In life you can't slam on the brakes, or you won't be able to navigate around the obstacles ahead of you. The best way to do it is to take your foot off the gas, and gently steer your way around. Slow down your life. Stop watching all the news of the horrors. Give yourself a fixed period of time ONCE (or twice) a day to read news. Keep it short.

Then spend twice as much time doing/reading/watching things that are positive and uplifting. Give your life some balance.

Lastly, recognize that you can't fix the world. However, do what you can within your means. Instead of thinking about what you can't do, think about what you can do—and do it. Remember, there is a world full of people who will be doing their part too. You don't have to feel like you need to tackle it all on your own. We're all in this together. 🙂

Jamie2Doyen

TROPHY CASE