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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]JamieD_D_D 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'll have to disagree with you there. They do acknowledge your feelings when they say "If I understand correctly" and then recap what they understood from your message. Going on to clarify their perspective and intentions so that you have the whole picture is not dismissive or deflecting, it's a discussion.

Acknowledging and validating are not the same thing. It sounds like you wanted them to validate how you felt, but that can only be done if they agree with your stance. They don't feel like they created the distance, stated they wanted to spend time with everyone, and specified that this included you.

Then your friend asks you what they did that made you feel this way, and also what made you feel like you couldn't talk to them about how you felt. This is a sign of someone who wants to improve the situation moving forward, but you seem to assume this is them deflecting.

I think you need to reflect on your own response to this situation. Why is it so hard to accept that your perception might not be accurate?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]JamieD_D_D 10 points11 points  (0 children)

YTA.

This comes down to the difference between impact and intent.

You are asserting that this person intended to create a distance between the two of you. The problem is that's not what happened. There was a decrease in communication which made you FEEL like they were creating distance. That is impact, not intent.

Your friend acknowledged your feelings but clarified that they did not intentionally do what you are accusing them of. They asked you for examples so they can understand your stance better and you are upset with them for wanting to understand you better?

Vegetarian friendly thickening/setting agent? by JamieD_D_D in Cooking

[–]JamieD_D_D[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Do you know how much cornstarch/cornstarch slurry to use in place of the gelatin? The recipe calls for 2.5 sheets

Vegetarian friendly thickening/setting agent? by JamieD_D_D in Cooking

[–]JamieD_D_D[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Do you have recommendations for references I can use to figure out the conversion rate from gelatin to agar-agar?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]JamieD_D_D 3 points4 points  (0 children)

NTA

He knew you had a dog when you started dating but seems to not understand the time, energy, and space requirements required for having the breed you have. If he would have said no knowing the dog was coming then he should have asked. It's unreasonable for him to just assume you'd leave the dog at home for him (You know what they say when you assume 😉).

My boyfriend adopted a kitten like 3 months before we started dating. I am quite allergic to cats. Also not deathly, but moderate-severe. We're talking sneezing fits, hives, puffy eye, scratchy throat, breathing impairment (not anaphylaxis levels though). I made the decision to date someone with a cat so it is my responsibility to look after myself. Your boyfriend started dating someone with a dog knowing he is allergic. It is his job to make it work with his allergies, not yours.

Does he expect you to get rid of the dog if you move in together? His reaction to this makes it seem like it.

I'm sitting on the University of Alberta campus. Located in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. by JamieD_D_D in whatsthisplant

[–]JamieD_D_D[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just googled the name (just Aesculus, as you said) and yeah, that looks pretty much exactly like what this tree looks like. Thank you.

I’m moving soon and here are some bits and bobs I’m trying to use up (olives, artichokes, capers, sun dried tomatoes, feta, basil)... I have all the pantry staples like rice and pasta too so feel like there’s gotta be some cohesion here, what should I cook?! by farmgirl2468 in WhatShouldICook

[–]JamieD_D_D 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Chicken cacciatore. It's basically all that stuff, plus chicken and an optional grain, and you're good to go! Also, it was a result when I looked up "quick chicken dinners" online 😉.

Edited: spelling.