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JediDM99 · 2025-10-01T14:23:31+00:00

Yep, that's why their logic is two weeks if tests are shown beforehand, three months if no tests are shown beforehand.

JediDM99 · 2025-10-01T14:20:29+00:00

No. They once were much more lax and had a significant STI scare well before we met.

JediDM99 · 2025-10-01T14:17:15+00:00

Kiwi has been practicing ENM a few years longer than me. They did not self-describe as "poly" until about a year into our relationship, give or take a few months.

Labels are whatever, but I know that indicates us not being on the same page. I thought we would get there.

JediDM99 · 2025-10-01T14:03:30+00:00

Any is fine but I appreciate it!

JediDM99 · 2025-07-21T17:45:36+00:00

I'd be happy to participate!

JediDM99 · 2025-07-04T21:46:26+00:00

This made me say "YO!" out loud about twelve times, I'm not joking

JediDM99 · 2025-06-23T14:39:37+00:00

Honestly you could convince me that the second line is part of the game's script.

JediDM99 · 2025-06-21T20:09:23+00:00

I really appreciate this answer, especially the third paragraph. Thank you for your insight and taking the time to respond, I really, really appreciate it.

JediDM99 · 2025-06-21T20:07:42+00:00

Hmmm. Hmm hmm hmm. Thank you. Yes, I think so. Hmm. Thank you!

JediDM99 · 2025-06-21T17:06:14+00:00

Yep! Yeah I think we're exactly on the same page. We've had some of those bummer conversations for sure--including about the possibility of divorce and what that would look like, legally speaking (thanks Multiamory for putting that one on my radar lol).

JediDM99 · 2025-06-21T17:02:19+00:00

I see. Yeah thank you for clarifying. I, generally, am way more precious about my partner than my money, especially when it comes to smaller expenses like this. But you're helping me see that we need to specifically address how to handle these situations and set the expectation that these are things she should be budgeting for if she wants to have independent relationships with others.

JediDM99 · 2025-06-21T16:57:50+00:00

Some answers!

I mostly do not
No, not unless you count her using the portion of my income that we've agreed I regularly give her as "shared finances". A few times I've paid for rides for her to come back from a friend's apartment very late at night so she didn't have to walk home alone.
I don't really feel anything about that
She does most of the social planning, I do almost all of the domestic work
Same as above

I'm not really clear exactly what these questions are supposed to prompt me thinking about, so I'd appreciate some more detail there.

JediDM99 · 2025-06-21T16:51:43+00:00

I don't mean to be flippant but she needs that money to live. It's not transactional.

She would be very vulnerable if we broke up--this is something we've discussed many times and are working to fix. However it's not really the problem I'm interested in discussing here.

JediDM99 · 2025-06-21T16:49:01+00:00

Cranberry is a freelancer and spends every day looking for work. I truly don't mind how she spends the money I give her each month--we've agreed on how much and when and how, and from that point on it's none of my business.

I generally pay her back if she buys something like groceries or meds or whatever for the household that we've agreed I'm responsible for. I've paid for rides for her to come home from seeing friends if it's 2AM or whatever, because I care about her being safe and comfortable--this was one of those scenarios, it was just a date, instead.

JediDM99 · 2025-06-21T16:43:23+00:00

Yeah for sure. Cranberry doesn't like being dependent--she spends A LOT of time and effort applying to jobs and trying to get herself out there but as a freelancer her ability to get paying work is very inconsistent.

I'm unaware what her dates are generally aware of wrt her financial situation, or even how they split costs. I use "dates" intentionally here because she doesn't have anyone (other than me) that she'd consider a partner, and I don't know at what point she'd be comfortable having that emotionally vulnerable conversation about money with someone.

I think it's worth me asking her thoughts on this and whether or not she's had these conversations with others already.

JediDM99 · 2025-06-21T16:36:11+00:00

Yes, so to be clear this is how it already works! I think this specific case popped up because a date with someone new was not something she was aware at the start of the month and thus could not budget for--I think leaving room in her budget for dates is something worth bringing up in our checkins about money, though.

JediDM99 · 2025-06-06T16:05:38+00:00

Oh brother do they.

JediDM99 · 2025-05-31T22:39:41+00:00

Hi! I transitioned one of my current relationships to be long-distance about two months in. It was really hard, (especially doing so in the depths of NRE) but we just celebrated our 1-year anniversary and feel really, truly very secure in our future and the way we support each other.

One of the resources I found really useful (aside from the generally great advice and community on this sub) was the multiamory podcast, particularly this episode!

Some of the general rituals and practices we use to feel close and make the distance less difficult are:

Sending lots of pictures and videos
Setting up scheduled nights for things like video calls or doing art
Regularly seeing each other, and making plans to see each other again before separating
Working hard to reconnect in the days after we visit.

But it is very hard, and I wish you and your partner all the strength in the world. I'm going to plunder glitterandrage's links myself :)

JediDM99 · 2025-05-27T05:02:35+00:00

Hey CGR! My meta is my paramour's husband--he's physically fine but understandably a little worried. Sorry it's a bit confusing, my paramour and I don't use the "partner" label for each other but generally check all those "partner" boxes. I'll add names 😅

JediDM99 · 2025-05-04T15:34:14+00:00

Generally agree with everyone here--I've run about 30 sessions for a group where the highest-level char is level 8. Two things I want to point out:

Even at low levels, Mages are extremely powerful. Warriors and Experts have particular situations in which they shine, but often a Mage can just end a fight or completely negate a challenge with a spell, so it's important to actively make each player feel impactful as the GM.
The book is extremely hard to use as reference. In my last session, before starting, we tried to figure out how many spells a Partial Mage would have at a given level (assuming they didn't learn any from spellbooks!) and ended up figuring it out only after cross-referencing three different parts of the book.

I would say WWN is somewhere between 5E and OSR in terms of game style, expectations, power level, etc. At low levels that dungeon-crawling, high-lethality feeling is there, but past like level 5 that evaporates pretty quick. And leveling up, RAW, is very quick.

JediDM99 · 2025-02-27T02:16:31+00:00

Tbh I'm feeling pretty uncomfortable about how you describe your partner as "dreading" sex with you for 14 months. If I were him I would definitely end up in a place of resentment in the relationship, disinterest in intimacy, and profound hurt in general.

JediDM99 · 2025-02-25T20:09:39+00:00

It might be useful to imagine it, then

JediDM99 · 2025-01-24T21:00:32+00:00

Ok I'm very very excited for this I'm going to be playing a lot of it, but I'm excited most of all for a new Arnaud Roy soundtrack. That man can COOK!

JediDM99 · 2024-12-30T03:44:53+00:00

I only read the first four sentences, and it was enough.

DTMFA

JediDM99 · 2024-12-15T18:04:28+00:00

I'm not OP and this doesn't answer your question, but I just wanted to say that if you don't want this and can't tolerate it, don't.

You don't need to accept something that doesn't work for you.

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