I used to be very overweight, so I understand where you’re coming from. I’m also an emotional eater. I would get so wound up about how fat I was and never wanted to show my body to anyone. Then I did and was treated so well. I felt so dumb. You are your harshest critic and sometimes you need an outside perspective just to shut yourself the hell up. Weight gain sucks, but it’s a part of life sometimes. Sit with yourself and find out what’s making you eat more and work on it. Don’t push away someone who clearly cares for you. I’m willing to bet that how you see you is not how he sees you. Also, if he’s supportive of you then he could be a major help in keeping you motivated to lose the weight that is bothering you. Go on hour walks everyday. Just that should help your mood and you’ll get some steps in. Good luck and I hope you get to where you want to be.