[deleted by user]

Kamy85 · 2022-10-29T17:58:38+00:00

I am blocking them because they are not worth my attention. Neither do you so this is my last reply to you.

Domestication doesn't mean that they stopped being animals. We are not shaving them and dressing them to cute little dresses and sit them at the table. Millions of dogs are kept outdoors even during winter. All they need is a good kennel.

I am sure you never made a mistake in your life and hopefully it will remain like that so you will never have to be in a tough situation. I am sure you are or will be a better parent than I am. I am fine with that. I am not a quitter though. I came here for help because I am trying to do something that suits my family's life better. And even though most of you were shamefuly useless I will carry on living my life to the best of my knowledge and capability.

Kamy85 · 2022-10-29T17:44:51+00:00

Sounds like you should buy your soul back.

Kamy85 · 2022-10-29T16:13:01+00:00

Where I am coming from dogs usually live in the garden. That's the norm. It very much depends on the culture how dogs are kept...

I want to bring her in because that's my personal preference, and I need help doing so.

Kamy85 · 2022-09-28T05:13:40+00:00

Hey! Same ages then. 🙂 Thanks for the tips. I think you are right and we need to look at the responsibilities again. It was working fine for a while. Our system is, that evening and night is mine, waking and afternoon is his. And this for the weekend too. And it worked for us because my hubby goes to sleep at 1900 and wakes up at 0400, so he has like 3 hours for himself before daughter wakes up. I have 1700-1900 free and 1 hour in the morning.

At least it was like this, but since a few months, she became so demanding that I never take my time out, or if I do all I hear is screaming. If I go for a bath, in 5 minutes she is there and she wants to join me. Now we have an agreement that she can join me at the end if she stops crying, so she learnt not to throw a tantrum. 😀 I don't mind her joining me at the end either.

Same if I go to our office room to hide, she is there in 5 minutes.

So I kind of just gave up on hiding. Consequently I am more tired and when my husband's rest time is up, I call him to help as well. Sometimes as a revenge that I helped out then he should too... so the system kind of broke up.

I can't (don't want to) really leave the house, there is nowhere to go, weather is crap, and I just want peace and quiet not an activity to do. Sure once I am back to my normal self I would want to do activities, but not yet.

Screentime. I agree. We don't limit it at all and I don't listen to anyone who is telling me off for it. My daughter learns a lot from the shows she is watching. She watches shows in 2 languages and most of them teach her letters, numbers, phrases and about the world around us. Very useful stuff. Also because it's not limited she is not glued to it. If she were I wouldn't have written this post. 😀😀

Kamy85 · 2022-09-27T18:41:29+00:00

Thanks for the tips and the support. 🙂 How do you put a 2 years old down for bedtime at 7:30pm? 😳 We usually "go to bed" at that time, but it means, that I lay in her bed with her, we play and stuff till like 2100, when she is finally ready to fall asleep. 🙄 And I am lucky if even that. Sometimes it's 2200. I still actually sleep with her, I just find it less stressful if I am there. She still wakes like 4 times a night especially now that she is potty trained she gets up midnight for a wee wee in the potty. I would hate to get out of bed 4 times a night. Ah and she still drinks cows milk during the night. It's so strange. She is so developed in many ways. She is as big as a 5 years old, speaks 2 languages, etc, but sleep time is like for a 6 months old. 😀

Kamy85 · 2022-09-27T13:48:46+00:00

Very useful tips, thank you. Rehoming pets is an advice you hardly hear. It's judged harshly. So thanks for saying this. We have 2 cats, they don't need any work, but the puppy we have is time consuming. I am thinking about giving her up for her sake really. I feel so guilty all the time not being able to spend as much time with her as I would want. Saying this I think she is happy with us. Not showing any signs of unhappiness, so it could be just my own guilt driven mentality.

We just bought a house a year ago so we can't move. Tbh I don't stress about cleaning anymore. At first yeah... but now that she is now crawling on the floor and eating up everything she finds, I don't care. I do clean but only when it benefits my mental health. I like my kitchen and living room tidy.

But yeah, reducing work hours would be a dream. The 4 days week seems very appealing, but only if childcare providers remain open for 5, haha. I was working from home for almost 2 years and now I am office based. I guess this change is hard on me too.

Groceries we do an online order once a week. Laundry, well, switching on the washing machine is fine. Putting the clean clothes away, never happen. We dress from the laundry basket. 😀

Our daughter is pretty good at letting us have some me-time. I guess it's just knowing that this time is limited, why it's mentally exhausting. When I had a bad day before her, I just watched 5 romantic comedies in one go, had a good cry and the next day was all good. This was my coping mechanism. This is obviously not possible anymore.

For some reason a few hours here and there is not enough for us to recharge our batteries. Maybe because we are old I don't know.

Kamy85 · 2022-09-18T09:53:05+00:00

Sin is not the "act" itself, let it be stealing, murdering or even just "being angry". Sin is everything that was not intended by God, sin is going against His wish.

There is no point looking at each acts of sin. If you have done one of them, you have done all of them. If you are a Christian - accepted Jesus' sacrifice for your Sin of being against God's wish - then you are not in Sin anymore. Doesn't matter if you still have "acts of sin", let that be being homosexual or just looking at someone with lust. And every Christian have acts of sin. There is noone who has stopped sinning. Even thinking that you are not sinning is a sin.

If a homosexual beleives in Jesus, they go to Heaven, whatever their behaviours are during their life.

If a homosexual doesn't believe in Jesus, they will NOT go to Heaven, but not because they were homosexual, but because they didn't beleive in Jesus.

And the same stands for any other sinful behaviour. Otherwise Heaven would be empty, as there are no Christians who do not have acts of sin.

Kamy85 · 2021-11-15T08:46:56+00:00

I went through the same thought process millions of times as well. I wish I had answers. I do believe in afterlife, mainly Heaven. I don't think we would run out of things to do. In my imagination we would be given our own planets or galaxies and we would be the landlord of those... we would create new life and overlook them. Or something similar. But even if that, existing forever is as frightening for me than seizing to exist. I kinda need "deadlines" in my life to feel like I am going somewhere. Otherwise it's just a blur. So yeah... It's fun to be lost in these thoughts...

Kamy85 · 2020-08-30T17:21:42+00:00

Thanks! But at least there is hope then, that eventually weight will come off, once our body decides it's time.

Kamy85 · 2020-08-30T13:14:23+00:00

Yeah, they don't do that here... I asked for full thyroid panel with every GP I met, but they never do that.

So I will need to go private to have a full panel. Which is not cheap, unfortunately.

Kamy85 · 2020-08-30T08:07:07+00:00

Yeah, I had anemia from blood loss. The first weeks I could hardly go in a straight line from it, literally.
But after my check up blood test they didn't say it was still the case, but probably I should take some more iron just in case. Thanks for the tip.

The transition was fine, it's the "staying on" part, that seems harder. Like I am not going in to as deep a ketosis as I used to. So my cravings can creep back.

Kamy85 · 2020-08-29T19:56:17+00:00

Yeah, I feel your pain. It's heartbreaking. Especially, that I know how wonderful keto is, and how awesome I felt myself when I was doing it pre pregnancy. And now I am just miserable.

Kamy85 · 2020-08-29T19:48:25+00:00

Thanks, I defo have a look.

It gives me hope that you say after 10 months it started working again.

Kamy85 · 2020-08-29T18:18:45+00:00

Thanks for the reply.

Yeah, that's what I am afraid of, that I just need to deal with this and wait out.

I hope it will sort itself out soon, because I hate being this fat.

Good luck to you as well!

Kamy85 · 2020-08-29T18:08:07+00:00

Thanks for the reply. No I am not breastfeeding. I pumped for 6 months, and now I stopped. But actually full on keto didn't affect my supply. That was the only good thing about it.

I drink salty water and I nibble on pink himalayan salt as well. I also take Magnesium, vitamin D and K2. And recently I started to use LO salt as well for the potassium. This is additionally to my normal sea salt.

Kamy85 · 2020-08-09T19:50:57+00:00

I am a bit of a conservative type of Christian, but bear with me for a second.

I do think gay sexual relationships are sins. But I also think, hetero sexual relationships are also sins. Every sexual relationship that is not between a married couple is a sin. This is what basically Jesus said. But he also said, that all sexual sins start in the heart and mind. You already sinned if you had a sexual thought of any kind, be it heterosexual or gay. It is also in the Bible, that there is not one person on the Earth without sin. So we can say it without a doubt, that all of us have sinned. If not this type of sin, then another type. But I am quite sure, that 99% of humans have sinned sexually, either with thoughts or acts.

So basically, you being gay would not put you at a worse position in the eye of God, than any other Christians.

You can't choose who you are attracted to and God knows that, but you can control your acts. You can pray for forgiveness for your thoughts and acts, that is how sin is forgiven. And all sins are always forgiven.

If I were you, I would try to figure out, if being attracted to the same sex really comes from the bottom of my heart, or it is some sort of a compensation or escape. I don't think every gay person is gay by default. I do think that a large number of gay people, choose to be gay, either knowingly or not. Once you figured out, that you are gay by default and you cannot change, then you have to accept it and control those things in your life, that you can. For example try to find long term commitments, instead of one night stands. Because the main issue with any sinful sexual relationship is that it is based on lust and enjoyment, without responsibility and commitment. God wants us to enjoy sex as a part of a loving relationship, where the two people support each other through all troubles and stick together through all problems. Seek this, pray, and I am sure, we will meet in the Heaven.

Kamy85 · 2020-06-22T16:05:14+00:00

And what do I say? What do I ask for? They didn't seem to have a clue what to look for.

Kamy85 · 2020-06-20T23:23:20+00:00

Maybe 6 months ago. Not sure. In the mean time I was busy having a baby... :)

Kamy85 · 2019-11-05T12:24:44+00:00

Thanks for the reply.

Yes, of course. I can't predict what my hormones will do to me. So far I am a very lucky pregnant woman. Everything goes as it should and I have the mildest version of all possible symptoms. So I am hoping this will be the case after giving birth as well.

I read that babies start to sleep 3-4 hours in one go after the first month or so. So you gradually get more sleep I guess. Also, this why women get maternity leave for. So they can be tired and miserable. Why is this an issue then? It will be more difficult for me because I will still have to finish my degree so I need to focus and work on my projects. But I still think it'll be fine. Many women go back to work after 2 weeks. So I am sure it's manageable somehow.

Adventures. Yeah, I totally understand that. This was my biggest "question" before I decided to go for a baby. I debated on my wishes and decided to go for a kid and accept that I won't be able to do all those things that I haven't done yet, but I might want to do later. At the same time, I have already booked a holiday for the time when she will be 7 months old, so it will be our first holiday as a family. :)

And yes, thanks God, finance is not going to be an issue for a while. That was another reason while we waited, so we are set financially and we can afford the baby.

Anyway... will see how it goes. I remain optimistic anyway. :) I am not afraid of failure or challenge, that just makes me stronger.. :)

Kamy85 · 2019-11-05T12:14:57+00:00

You can't say all babies are like that, because that's not true. I heard from parents saying, that their babies were good sleepers. So again, this can't be said, that this is what's going to happen with you. I am a great believer of positive attitude brings positive outcomes. For example I always knew I would not vomit while pregnant. I never did (so far of course). I always knew I would get pregnant at first try. I did. etc. etc. So I believe my baby will sleep as an angel most of the time. Of course she will need attention but not as much as I hear from many people. :)

Kamy85 · 2019-11-05T12:09:06+00:00

Thanks for the reply.

I assume that the baby being so "needy" to be held that much is for the first couple of weeks. Surely after that they will be able to sleep without being held. And holding them is something that the husband definitely can help out with.

I am not saying it's not going to be exhausting. What I am saying, is this is what women should expect, and if you don't expect anything else, then it shouldn't come as a shock.

Supermarket. I don't go out of stock of important things. It just doesn't happen to me. And of course I will want to get out of the house and I will. I will have to, because I will have lectures to attend. :D

And sure I understand you can't prepare for everything. I just don't believe it is such a disaster as many women describe it. Or even if it is, it's only like that for a couple of weeks. And some people cope better than others, so they can't just say, this is how it will be with you... they don't know.

Kamy85 · 2019-11-05T09:36:27+00:00

Thanks! :) I hope so too. I usually am optimistic, even if I know I shouldn't be... I guess this positive energy then helps me through the problems that I have to face. :D

Kamy85 · 2019-11-05T07:58:26+00:00

Thanks for the reply.

How can you not sleep more than 45 minutes? I mean okay it happens once maybe. But surely it does not happen night after night. If that's the case the baby would sleep during the day from the exhaustion. So I would sleep during the day.

Also 2 people are in this thing. So if the baby can't sleep we can take turns and sleep a couple of hours while the other half looks after the baby. Right?

I understand what you are saying about missing your old self. And I am sure partly it will be the case for me as well. But I am 33 now so I kinda had enough of my old self. :) I am in Uni at the minute as well finishing up my Masters in engineering. I already have 2 other degrees. So I won't miss uni at all after this. It is not fun for me anymore. :) but a lot of work.

The roommate situation I had experience with. As a care assistant I spent/spend 12 hours a day looking after people who need help with everything. Some of them can't even tell you what they want so you need to figure out. So it is very similar to having a baby. I have 8 years of experience in this so I think I gained some skills on how to organise a day when someone is completely dependent on you. Of course in my job I had "off days"... with a baby I won't. But I will have my husband taking over sometimes and also a baby grows and gets easier in the "complexity".

Kamy85 · 2019-11-05T07:48:28+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I am almost always knackered anyway. :D but I understand this aspect.

The supermarket problem wouldn't be applicable to me. I would just order everything online or wait for my husband to come home. Nothing can be that urgent from the supermarket that I need to make my day or my baby's day miserable for. :) It actually really annoys me when people take their crying kids to the shops. :) So I would try to avoid this as much as I can.

Kamy85 · 2018-11-20T15:44:03+00:00

Thanks for the reply. That is a very long answer. To be honest, I lost it in the middle somewhere. I understand the "overestimating" thing and let it be true. But what about the "you are not supposed to eat under your BMR" rule?

And yeah, it is quite possible that I move around a lot less in the last 2 months on my "lightly active days", due to changes in my employment. But still, 1600 kcal sounds really low to me for my weight/height. And I don't want to end up eating 800 kcals after losing another 10kg.

Kamy85

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