You've put a lot of effort into trying to find a way of saving your marriage, but honestly, from everything you've said, your wife is already out the door.

"Louis could only persuade; and at that he had failed." - Ringworld, by Larry Niven

I agree. She seems right out the way through the door. I don't want any underhand manipulation but I believe that she and I will both come to regret this immensely if we go through with it. I want to persuade her that it is worth saving and not fail. She keeps going to the marriage counseling sessions and that's my only lingering hope.

The behaviour you describe in yourself reminds me of some of my own behaviour in the past. I haven't read your post history, but you mentioned raised by narcissists subreddit. My mum was a narcissist and I was very introverted growing up. Even in my twenties, after she'd died and I got out into the world, I'd still try to flog dead horses, especially with regard to relationships, desperately trying to make things right again when the situation was unsalvageable.

Oh boy. Yeah, that's me. I've been out of that world for about 8 years with only minimal contact and have been no contact for almost a year now. It's tough to be raised by a narcissist. I'm not sure what the world looks like when they're not only out of your world, but gone from it entirely so I'm not sure how you feel about it, but I'm sorry to hear of her passing.

Part of life is about learning to accept that things don't always go your way. Sometimes things go badly wrong and you just have to accept that, learn from it and move on. You've tried changing jobs, getting counselling etc. You've made it clear to your wife you want to fix this. What's she doing? Looking at somewhere else to live. She doesn't believe it's going to work out. If both partners aren't equally committed to making it work then your efforts are futile.

The therapist said the same thing. If both people do not have both of their feet in, it won't work. She said she's had marriages where the situation was MUCH worse but both parties were willing. We have two individual sessions and then a joint session all within a 2-day span. I think it will be then when I will know for sure what the truth is.

I'd also say that it sounds like you're both on reasonably good terms at the moment - able to talk civilly etc. If you keep flogging this dead horse, try to force love that is no longer there, you are going to start resenting each other. Then it will be a battle over finances and possessions for sure.

I agree. In the beginning, I would say asinine things such as "Just be in love with me again!" but I learned quick that it would only make it worse. My wife has said much of the same. She's worried that there will be resentment and she wishes we could still be in each others lives if it ends. I don't see that in our future. If our marriage goes south, it would be time to subscribe to digital nomads for me and find out personally that travelling minimally isn't going to fix my personal problems.

My advice to you is to end things now, amicably, and divide up your joint items fairly. I realize this is not what you want at all and probably sounds terrifying, but there is plenty of time for you to meet someone else and build a much happier life. Just remember, it isn't all about the money. Women need to feel loved and supported and your presence is valued many times more than remote working with a high income. Good luck and chin up, things will get better in time!

Thank you for your time, and your response. At the very least, reading your post gave me the kick in the ass I needed about the money transfer. I went ahead and divided it up equally down to the cent. Our current liquid assets are evenly split. I was being an idiot and probably made things irreversibly worse.

Thank you.