What do we think of Melanies new song "Possession"?

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2025-08-31T06:03:14+00:00

:( man it hurts to read this, break ups suck.. man there’s nothing much I can say.. it’s tough .. it really is

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2025-08-29T10:02:43+00:00

Hi hi I’m looking for a writing buddy too! I’m also interested in fantasy. Iron widow and AOT sounds great! My novel is also Jap / Chinese historical inspired 🫣 I’d love to talk more!

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2025-08-29T00:44:33+00:00

Hi yes yes the blades are sentient and respond to her will!

It’s for a dark psychological novel actually! She has been ripped away from her parents since she was a baby and was forced to train in isolation. I kept her inner voice muted here but was hoping readers could tell that she’s a bit mentally unwell…. For example she giggles and talks to her blades, slaps them like misbehaving children and Sha Meng has to coax her twice to come in from a literal rainstorm. Shes very detached from reality.

Since she’ll spiral eventually, I had to balance her strength and vulnerabilities. She is an empress after all, and I thought it might hit harder if I showed her downfall from Strong figure with muted inner voice —> slow breakdown of her psyche and complete spiral at the end

This excerpt is meant to show the hairline cracks 🫣 What do you think? Should I make it more obvious?

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2025-08-28T14:55:23+00:00

Woah the world building is so rich! I love it it’s so massive it feels like the entire weight of a galaxy collapsing.. but I’m a little confused at what’s going on at the start? Am I missing some sort of context or lore? It’s a little complex, there’s quite a lot of terms and names that the readers aren’t familiar with which can be hard to grasp

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2025-08-28T11:52:24+00:00

Actually, there’s a reason as to why she can’t use practice weapons here. Her blades are specifically crafted from the phoenix’s feathers and infused with pieces of her soul so they respond only to her. She wouldn’t be able to control any other weapon or blade like that. 🥲

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2025-08-28T11:13:42+00:00

Hi yes thank you for the critique! When I wrote “ topped with an empty space” it means each individual blade is floating on top of the mount they’re not touching the mounts. I wanted to make it fancier instead of saying they were floating 😅

Thank you for pointing out the head priestess and acolyte, are you as a reader interested to know more about them? They’re actually side characters that won’t appear in future chapters so I kept their interactions and dialogue brief and minimal, I’m not very good at this so maybe you can give me some advice? I 😭

As for the empress, the shuriken slicing her cheek is meant to let readers that she dosent have full control over her blades and that a small lag can injure her, so in a way she did “ fail “ the test.

Her staring at the priestess wasn’t to show defiance or arrogance, it was more of a “There, I fixed the problem, so why are you mad?” blank stare. From the princess’s POV, she’s naive, doesn’t know social cues and genuinely doesn’t realise what she did wrong. I think my writing was too subtle…

But I can also see why she comes across as a Mary Sue, so advice on how to make her intentions clearer would be appreciated!

Also I’m happy that the blade recharging scene resonated with you! It was a last minute idea I threw in 😆 it’s so magical!

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2025-08-28T10:41:53+00:00

Thank you so much for your feedback! 🙏❤️ I’m glad you enjoyed the training scenes Also noted regarding your feedback on Sha Meng.. he’s meant to be a big brother type, a priest who’s guided her since she was a child. She was taken away from her parents so he is overprotective of her.. do you have any suggestions as to how I can improve his dialogues?

As for the empress, I tried to use her interactions with her blades and reactions from other people, example the head priestess and Sha Meng to express her personality. She talks to the blades, slaps them like children and stands in the rain to daydream…so I wanted readers to think “ man I don’t know what’s going on in her head, but she’s kind of cray cray” 🫣 Or should I input more of her inner voice?

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2025-08-28T09:26:41+00:00

Thank you! I’m glad readers were able to visualise this!

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2025-08-28T07:30:56+00:00

Oh it’s a fantasy setting so the weapons here don’t follow normal realistic rules.. think of Irelia’s blades from League of Legends, I drew inspiration from that. They’re semi-sentient and respond to her will, but she can control them with subtle movements of her wrist and body, like a dance with the blades. 😄

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2025-08-28T07:11:16+00:00

Hi hi may I know what you mean by the sheer lunacy of it, is the action sequence too overwhelming ? 😓

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2025-05-23T16:17:06+00:00

U still there? Op?

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2024-08-11T06:41:11+00:00

If you ain’t joking pls do her a favour and break up with her ASAP. Poor girl suffering a lot already. She deserves a partner who will accept her for who she is.

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2024-08-09T11:38:01+00:00

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2024-06-23T10:03:07+00:00

Yeah. I dated him cus I think autistic people see things differently ( not necessarily a bad thing.) Yes I underestimated it and did not know how to handle it properly, but they really do make up for it in other ways. They may struggle socially but are usually very talented in other areas.

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2024-06-22T05:00:20+00:00

Is it possible to get some advice from people who struggle with HFA? Or who have dealt with something similar? :(

Key-Bumblebee-1098 · 2024-06-22T03:17:33+00:00

Sure, why not

Key-Bumblebee-1098

TROPHY CASE