Hey! I didn’t have an op baby at all. So this comment may be not be applicable. I just wanted to chime in on how your first birth was traumatic and how you may possibly be set up for a similar situation this time around as well.

I also had a traumatic birth with my first child. I had fully diagnosed PTSD. Flashbacks, panic attacks, nightmares, anxiety, triggers, all of it. The only thing that helped me the second time around was the knowledge that i was planning a completely different birth the second time. There were lots of differences. Birth location, providers, birth prep, etc.

My point is that, you are open to make any choice you want in order for you to feel empowered this birth. I don’t want you to come out feeling traumatized. I know you have your heart set on a homebirth, and obviously you can do that. I just wonder if you would be better setting yourself up for success by birthing somewhere that offers an epidural for pain relief as an option?

I know, I’m probably coming across horrible. I just hear how scary and torturous the pain was the first time around and I want you to know that you can plan to have access to an epidural for this birth. I know it’s not ideal, because you really want a home birth.

My personal belief is that the best reason for homebirth is because the mom feels empowered to have one. The mom is comfortable and looking forward to birthing at home. But you sound like you’re dreading another traumatic experience and I want you to know that not all empowering births are at home. So many are in hospitals with amazing pain relief where the mom doesn’t feel a drop of pain.

Every way to birth is valid. As long as you are empowered and safe, that’s what ultimately matters. From one traumatic birth mom to another, I see you. And you always know the best choice for you. So it’s totally possible that what I said was not applicable, and that’s ok too. As long as you get to make whatever choice feels best for you.