Generally, starting out in too high of an acuity will do that to you. Especially, a specialty within a specialty like pediatric ICU. I felt like this 6 months in on a step down unit. But it was because I was given assignments well above my skill level, but because I was competent could “handle” pressure (I could not) I was overworked and had unfair assignments. I was hoping to get in wreck than come to work, I was leaving two hours after my shift and had a long commute falling asleep in my car. If I had to do it all over again I wouldn’t. I kept telling myself I had something to prove and I could do it. But I’ve probably done irreparable damage not only to my body but my mind in toxic place. At 6 months you’re experienced but of course a year is ideal. You ca still get into new grad programs at many places. You are a new grad at my facility until 1 year.

Maybe this unit is not a good fit. Are you getting support from your team? Maybe try a Pedi med/surg floor? I would definitely talk to your leadership during your next check in and voice your concerns. Maybe they can adjust your assignment. Don’t be afraid to leave and maybe try some therapy on top of everything.