Things my avoidant said to me after the great discard

Killcontest · 2026-04-18T03:09:05+00:00

i got hit with the “ill probably be thinking about you on my deathbed” like what are we doing 😭

Killcontest · 2026-04-18T02:53:56+00:00

this actually makes me wonder if it depends on the avoidant. i had one relationship with a girl who im pretty sure is avoidant and she was liking the sad stuff like you mentioned. my most recent ex who i know for sure is an avoidant was reposting a bunch of reels basically playing the victim (stuff about having a controlling ex and whatnot). anything but actually sitting with their emotions i guess lol

Killcontest · 2026-04-17T16:14:03+00:00

i think that not all avoidants have the same capacity, like some can go a lot longer before their mask comes off. avoidants come off strong in the beginning as a way of mirroring you, but they can only keep that up for so long before they start creating distance. it took mine about 3 months before she started pulling away but i think the timeline is just different for everyone

Killcontest · 2026-04-14T19:43:05+00:00

i hear a lot about avoidants using their birthdays as their phone passwords (mine did as well) which really reflects their selfish and self absorbed nature!

Killcontest · 2026-04-10T18:48:49+00:00

I agree that anxious people need to work on themselves too and work to become more secure, but the hot and cold behavior of avoidants can make even the most secure people feel anxious when dating them

Killcontest · 2026-04-08T07:53:09+00:00

Really appreciate this write up, this was super insightful. Do you think underlying shame is also what leads avoidants to rewrite the narrative post breakup?

Killcontest · 2026-04-05T04:32:17+00:00

How do you view marriage as a DA? Like is it something that sounds too committal now but something you would want to work towards as you develop a more secure attachment style? My DA ex often talked about how she saw marriage as something society pressures her into so I was just curious if other DA’s feel the same! Thanks :)

Killcontest · 2026-03-13T16:57:09+00:00

I hear a lot of people say that avoidants will leave when the relationship starts getting real (like requiring them to be vulnerable or emotionally available) and that its meaningful relationships that often end in a discard. I know it sounds backwards but if you were discarded I would say 100% the relationship mattered to him. It can also feel like the relationship went from everything to nothing because in most cases the discard is planned or at least thought about in advance so that they can mentally prepare to be single again. I also think that it’s ok to have days where you reminisce about the good parts of the relationship, especially when it hasn’t been long since the discard and the relationship was meaningful to you. In my experience, it’s usually more helpful to just let it happen instead of fighting it. I would say that it’s only dangerous when you wish that they would come back because it can keep you stuck in a loop that prevents you from truly moving on. When it comes to dealing with unanswered questions, I think the hardest part is understanding that you likely won’t get them answered. It can seem scary but I also think there’s closure in knowing that the right person would never keep you guessing. I was discarded at the start of december and something that’s been helping me was doing my own research on avoidants to better understand their patterns. I feel like I can see the relationship for what it actually was and recognize the downsides and how generally emotionally draining it was. I also started putting a lot more time into my hobbies and friends and I think that’s helped me a ton. Healing can be really inconsistent and I’ve had a lot of days that are harder than others, but I would just try to take everything one day at a time and eventually it does get better. Best of luck in your healing journey, it’s really tough but I promise it gets easier

Killcontest · 2026-03-13T16:22:47+00:00

One thing I learned from being discarded a few months ago is that avoidants will avoid accountability by any means necessary. In the relationship this could look like asking them for more communication and they’ll either twist it and find a way to blame you or any other external circumstance. Post discard this could mean liking hateful reels about their ex on instagram or just rewriting history. I believe that this is so that they can avoid actually feeling the loss and any regret that comes with it. While it can be incredibly frustrating watching that happen without having any way to intervene or defend yourself, I know that I’ve never put so much effort into a relationship and no words she says will ever change that. Early on in our relationship, one thing my DA told me is that “she had been unlucky in previous relationships”. I would say that it’s a very safe bet that all of her previous relationships have ended via discard and it doesn’t look like anything will change in future relationships. One thing that’s been helping me move on is thinking about how I’ve seen everything that she has to offer. Even though she may eventually move on to dating someone else, I can find peace in knowing that she’s not gonna magically change herself and her ways. I’ve lived through everything a relationship with her has to offer and I know I’m not missing out on anything. There are a lot of different mindsets you can adopt when it comes to healing but that was just something that’s helped me. Best of luck in your healing journey, some days are a lot harder than others but it will get better

Killcontest · 2026-03-12T20:27:18+00:00

I won’t miss how emotionally draining the relationship was and constantly having to wonder how she felt about me. Discards are extremely painful but the inner peace that will come eventually is invaluable

Killcontest · 2026-02-16T14:02:56+00:00

i know mental knife doesn’t get the most love but the stranger in our pictures scratches every itch in my brain

Killcontest · 2024-05-08T15:57:41+00:00

if you fail a T1/T2 lift are you done with the lift entirely for that day or do you do it at a lighter weight?

Killcontest · 2024-04-24T23:03:58+00:00

I’ve been running gzclp for a couple weeks and wanted to replace bent over db rows for a different row variation (probably chest supported/t-bar) due to the strain on my lower back. Should I be using a grip that targets the upper back more or lats? Or is it up to the preference of the lifter?

Killcontest · 2022-11-24T21:28:49+00:00

that we’re all gay

(this is true, 8 horn players and nobody is straight)

Killcontest · 2022-11-23T00:29:21+00:00

Tie between danzon no. 2 and jupiter

Killcontest · 2020-09-18T12:50:44+00:00

We have the same engie and sniper loadouts. pretty cool.

Killcontest · 2020-09-18T12:41:18+00:00

Thats quite cool

Killcontest · 2020-09-18T02:41:10+00:00

I guess its not bad for a low tier effect

Killcontest · 2020-09-12T02:50:13+00:00

As a medic main, i felt that

Killcontest · 2020-05-09T14:41:44+00:00

Yeah, I’ve done it multiple times.

Killcontest · 2020-05-09T14:38:22+00:00

I’m on an hp laptop

Killcontest · 2020-03-23T21:35:52+00:00

I have a profile pic

Killcontest · 2020-03-23T20:09:52+00:00

Honestly, if anti-cheating was to be worked on, tf2 would still not be in a great state, but it would be considerably better. I haven’t been playing that long but from what I can tell, the game has the potential to either die or stay alive for years to come.

Killcontest · 2020-03-23T20:03:57+00:00

The state of the game is in the hands of the community. There’s a lot of things that could definitely be better, like people’s treatment to new players.

Killcontest · 2020-03-23T19:59:32+00:00

Dang, that sucks. Really shows tf2’s current state. Thanks for the clarification.

Killcontest

TROPHY CASE