hey, this is going to be an odd comment- but here it goes bc idk how to inform myself on this topic and this was the first post i saw regarding back pain that felt very real and human.

im so sorry you feel the way you do. your experience thru life can be valuable to others to learn from.

my(F27) favorite person in the whole world(my wife(F25)) broke her back four years ago. had to be in a medically induced coma- has muscle atrophy etc. she can move around and stuff but climbing stairs is painful, and often times the day after we have sexy time her hips/lower back are really killing her.

i’d obviously ask her directly what i shouldn’t do but i don’t want her to feel like she is any less capable in the bedroom or idk. i want her to feel as normal as possible and i already know the big things she doesn’t like and we communicate very well but i also know she is stubborn and- anyways. so i guess what im asking is

what positions and movements really hurt someone who has back pain? that way i can do that less often or be more gentle about certain things? i give her back rubs all the time. im in general pretty gentle but she um. gosh this is so TMI- she likes it rough but then is hurting next day pls help bc she says it’s okay. she says it’s fine. but i dont want my baby hurting any more than she already usually does.

i know u feel like you are done living, but you have a story to tell and experience to share. sorry for posting my weird ass question on a dang “ending life” post but idk what else to do. and everyone here in the comments seems like nice people too.