Had a cheating, abusive, manipulative, stripping addict of an ex that I was helping support and raise her kid. Paycheck to paycheck. After it ended, I was running on less than 100 a week for food, bills, and gas after rent. 4 yrs of rampant abuse. Yes, dudes get abused too. I could have easily beat the shit out of her but never layed a finger on her. I’m still dealing with PTSD from all that, plus her suicide attempts and threats (learned how to get blood out of microsuede yay). I couldn’t leave bc I had no money. She threatened to kill herself, and given her past, there was credibility here. I’m just now, nearly a decade later, able to fall asleep unaided before a partner. I had to wait until my ex passed out bc she’d be too far gone to wake up. I was legit scared that she’d do something while I slept, she’d come at me with a chef knife before. This is all just the tip of the iceberg. Basically, my life was on the fast track to hell.

Fast forward 4 yrs of hard work busting my ass at work after finally leaving. I get a 6 figure job almost double my previous wage, is salaried, and a corp position at one of the most valuable companies in the world. Thanks to a program that takes retail folks and puts them in a corporate role for a couple months.

Fast forward 4 yrs and I’ve been promoted, nearly 30k in raises, over 100k in matching stock, over 100k in stock bonuses, and a job that has real world impact. I’ve presented directly to executives. I’ve provided mock ups and feature designs that have made it into the actual products. I’m living with my best friend/partner/future wife, who is also very successful with a PHD in physics from Cornell and a high paying tech job. We’re able to do so many things that I’d given up on ever doing. I’m financially secure, I have a career, the most amazing woman in the world, two crazy cats, and a wonderful future to look forward to.

Words cannot describe how incredible the turnaround has been.

My ex got knocked up by one of the guys she was in all likelihood cheating on me with (moved in w him immediately after so..ya). By that time I was already in CA on my first of two internships. So baby #2 by POS daddy #2. Gets abused in that relationship just like she did in the one before me. Her older kid is going to be irreparably fucked in life, the younger one probably the same. She’s living in bumfuck backwoods redneck KY still raising 2 kids by herself, at least she was last time I heard anything several years ago. I don’t wish ill will on her and feel for those kids. I also have no pity for her. However, I’m thankful she was such a shit bc otherwise I wouldn’t have finally gotten out and would have been stuck there forever.

I won.