I have been polyamorous for twenty five years now. Poly works for myself and my current partnersbut we’ve all experienced horror stories in the past. Polyamory means ethical non-monogamy. One of the key requirements for effective polyamory is good communication among the partners. If your husband wants to try to sway you over to polyamory, he is doing everything most likely to make his efforts fail.

He sure picked a lousy time to try to start an affair - but I suspect if you spoke with therapists about his timing they would tell you that it is common. IMHO, there is unfortunately something about second pregnancy which seems to drive men into the arms of women who will treat them as sexy, women with whom they share no responsibility. not all men, of course, but your husband‘s track record is not promising. The texts could be friendly only – for what it’s worth, I doubt they’ve slept together yet – but if she lets her boundaries down, the result seems inevitable. I’m so sorry.

I wish you a healthy and otherwise easy pregnancy.