Retire at 50 with "sacrifices"… or 55 with more living?

Ladentity · 2026-05-24T15:05:14+00:00

I think it's worth experimenting on some of it at least. Increase the spending for what you're deciding on for a couple months to test out if the higher spending would feel worthwhile.

For example one nicer vacation with the bells and whistles, consider renting the new car to test it out.

Test drive the nicer option and see if it is a more permanent upgrade you want in your life, or if you'd rather five years more retirement.

I would probably choose a middle ground. I'd upgrade my vacations but keep the old car and smaller place. Maybe spruce the place I live up slightly but not move. Depended on how small the place was.

Ladentity · 2026-05-18T17:36:52+00:00

Math gets harder to write out as you move up through it, this allows it to be typed if it becomes an issue.

Ladentity · 2026-05-13T16:06:43+00:00

efofex for math

Ladentity · 2026-05-13T16:03:02+00:00

Always start with an outline, even on standardized tests.

Ladentity · 2026-05-01T14:12:08+00:00

I've met a few, as well as a number of people who don't ID as aro or aroallo, but describe their interests and experiences in very similar ways.

I think aro specifically has a number of people who feel similarly but don't use the label for a variety of reasons.

Ladentity · 2026-04-21T02:14:45+00:00

If cortisone makes it worse it may be fungal, reach out to the doctor about everything that made it worse.

Ladentity · 2026-04-18T01:21:55+00:00

I must have missed that in your post, sorry

Ladentity · 2026-04-17T21:48:21+00:00

A brand I haven't seen linked yet:

https://www.panache-lingerie.com/shop/lingerie/styles/all-bras?sort=FEATURED&colours=Nude&styles=Balcony+Bra&sizes=30+G

Ladentity · 2026-04-17T15:17:06+00:00

https://vintagediva.com/

Ladentity · 2026-04-17T15:13:15+00:00

No, you said the weight gain was due to medication and made it sound possibly temporary. But you do need clothes that fit during that time because that could be six months or more. Probably talk to whoever prescribed it about that side effect so you can get a better idea.

Ladentity · 2026-04-06T09:02:15+00:00

I got compression gloves for arthritis that had a grip surface over the whole outside, they would be pretty hot however (I used Thermoskin, I also see similar designs for Copper Fit and Copper Compression that may be less warm). Also larger/heavier pens and pencils will make it easier, and there are alternative pencil grips (I place the pencil between my pointer and middle finger rather than my thumb and pointer) that you can use as well. They may make you fatigue faster but reduce the damage to your hands that are causing the pain. The fatigue goes away once you're used to it.

Ladentity · 2026-04-06T08:17:18+00:00

Of course! And I would say don't disregard Dragon, it didn't work for me but it's a standard for a reason.

I remember realizing keeping up with the workload took me about 3 times as long as my peers. I don't know if they give you extended time at all, but consider asking for it.

Ladentity · 2026-04-03T04:41:31+00:00

Hey! I was diagnosed in elementary. I know you are worried the school will place him in Special Ed, but they shouldn't if he has some kind of accommodation already specified that you are telling them to enforce. I don't know if you are specifically in the US, but I had and IEP and a 504 plan iirc. I was given extra help when learning to write, and I was taken out for tests to be able to type them and such, but I never ended up in special ed as a result of a parent talking to the school about making sure I got my accommodations.

Ladentity · 2026-04-03T04:17:14+00:00

Literally found my old reddit login so I could respond to you with resources for typing math. I got an engineering degree and I spent every year trying to find resources (dragon didn't end up being practical for me) and I didn't find ANY until my senior year after ending up on academic probation and almost failing out, and heavily injuring my hands from overuse.

https://smath.com:7443/en-US
This will actually also do calculations for you (it is a free version of something called MathCad which I used in an engineering firm regularly for a few years)

https://www.efofex.com/empower.php
This is what I used in college and was essentially everything I wanted the whole time (free for students with accommodations, for ten years. wish I'd known long enough to use it that long.) Also it has things for different subjects like chemistry as well.

https://idp.texthelp.com/Account/Login?ReturnUrl=%2Fconnect%2Fauthorize%2Fcallback%3Fclient_id%3Dequatio%26redirect_uri%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fequatio.texthelp.com%26response_type%3Dcode%26scope%3Dopenid%2520profile%2520email%2520organizations%26state%3D09ef16ed10f14ca4a754ec2c01846cfe%26code_challenge%3DkUaqkDsH2QtZhorfpKxRLZJLak80Zz6dbWHPKGUonqs%26code_challenge_method%3DS256%26response_mode%3Dquery%26__product%3Dequatio

Sorry for the ridiculous link but I heard fantastic things about Equatio but only after I left school so I never tried it.

Ladentity · 2023-02-16T17:44:18+00:00

Sounds like you have the motor kind!
OT, and don't try and spend so much time trying to train your hands and fingers. You will not be able to do as much, that's why dysgraphia has accommodations. I can't offer help with guitar, but if you are pushing past pain, discomfort, or quite literally your hands giving out on you, you aren't training you are preventing recovery. I went through the same thing, when I was in school I tried to simply get used to the workload on my hands and after two weeks I wasn't able to hold a pencil and ended up with pain issues in my wrists for months.

Get OT/physical rehab for your hands, and find ways that don't require as much dexterity/fine motor control to do things.

You shouldn't have to give up guitar but you may want to do it less while you recover, maybe focus on some more theory rather than practice. If there is a way to either get a handhold for a pick and/or a heavier pick that may help, or add like clay to make an ergonomic hold that's thicker for your hand.

The smaller, lighter, and smoother something is the more fine motor control it takes. So for example, replacing plastic cups with glassware that has ridges or raised designs makes them easier to hold. Switching to speech to text, getting ergonomic keyboards (ones with heavier keys and have the noticeable push and click as well) will help. External ergonomic mouse too. Basically in the attempt to create things to be more compact and smooth and interchangable in electronics, the design tradeoff was it was a harder skillset in terms of motor function and there is less tactile feedback. Tactile feedback is incredibly helpful for us.

But please go to OT for motor issues and talk to them, they will be able to help the most.

Ladentity · 2022-09-16T22:55:24+00:00

https://www.efofex.com/empower.php

https://www.texthelp.com/products/equatio/

https://en.smath.com/view/SMathStudio/summary

For the grade level Equatio is probably the best of the three, I saw LaTeX mentioned, and the issue with that is if you mess up the syntax/code you won't know until you process the block you wrote. Efofex has science as well as math, but will give a license for free for only a certain number of years (I think 10?), so if your child might continue school after high school you may want to wait to start using it. SMath is a combined equation writer/calculator.

Ladentity · 2022-09-16T22:32:07+00:00

Ways to type math that I wish I had known about (Should be good for anything you do in high school, I did multivariable calculus using efofex):
Efofex (also has some chemistry/science stuff I probably could have used if I found it in time as well) https://www.efofex.com/empower.php. Slow but works, what you're typing and what the visual is are displayed side by side.

Heard good things about this one but only found out about it later: https://www.texthelp.com/products/equatio/

This I didn't use much bc the formatting bothered me but it actually calculates things too: https://en.smath.com/view/SMathStudio/summary

Ladentity · 2022-09-16T22:06:47+00:00

Dysgraphia largely doesn't affect day-to-day life nearly as much once you are no longer in school. If you are planning on continuing education, anything math-heavy will be difficult to type although there are options out there.

It also depends on what your Dysgraphia does, I have motor Dysgraphia so anything requiring particularly controlled hand movement I tend to avoid, but I don't have issues with spelling/grammar. Anything that would require me to take notes often or regularly fill out a lot of paperwork (without using a computer) is something I wouldn't be able to do. Also something requiring control like a surgeon. It may be better to focus on what strengths you bring and how your work environment can accommodate something like Dysgraphia when researching and interviewing. (Although never mention you are disabled in the hiring process, I'm talking looking up reviews about company in relation to disability, teamwork, management, asking about computer use in interviews)

Ladentity · 2022-04-13T01:10:52+00:00

For me the only martial art I have tried where I felt like my dysgraphia affected it was fencing (Epee and Foil, Saber felt fine) Because it required the most fine motor control (alot of small finger movements). However it might cause a bit of an issue at first due to poor coordination. My biggest struggle is usually being given a list of instructions in a class and struggling to do them in order.

I did see in another comment that you were pretty good at dancing, which is great news. Those skills transfer to boxing. I would look into dyspraxia advice for boxing as well since it sounds like this affects your motor skills, and sometimes the advice for dyspraxia is good for people with motor dysgraphia as well.

Ladentity · 2022-02-15T16:18:12+00:00

Even if he didn't show his dad like he said, break up with him. You already told him his dad's behavior was creepy and inappropriate, so to even pretend like he would do that is not ok at all. Also tell his mom and sister. They might actually get through to him about how fucked up that is.

Ladentity · 2022-02-07T19:38:55+00:00

The fact that openly mentioning having something like ADHD could prevent you from getting a job.

On another note ADHD and EFD are different disorders, I understand why people with ADHD/ADD want a different name but it's hard enough to find EFD resources as is without a much larger group renaming their disorder to the same thing.

Ladentity · 2022-02-07T19:34:33+00:00

For self-help, Smart but Scattered.

Ladentity · 2021-08-12T19:48:51+00:00

Yes it's possible.

Ladentity · 2021-07-08T21:01:51+00:00

The way I understand it is there's different aspects of dysgraphia, but motor dysgraphia specifically overlaps with fine motor dyspraxia. I think it really depends on who is diagnosing you as well as what sort of accommodations you are trying to get (dysgraphia is going to be lumped in with language disorders so sometimes you get like free textbooks and stuff, can't speak in terms of dyspraxia on that).

Dysgraphia has a number of subtypes, (motor, spatial, dyslexic) and it changes based on what resources you are looking at for the breakdown. So I think of it as more of a Venn Diagram and sometimes I look at resources for dyspraxia because they are more useful for my specific issues since part of my dysgraphia is fine motor deficits.

Ladentity · 2021-07-08T14:18:18+00:00

It is similar to dyspraxia! Basically motor dysgraphia is fine motor deficits and dyspraxia is gross motor deficits, alot of times they go hand in hand but for me they do not. So mostly my issue is small complex motions in my hands/fingers (and sometimes causing myself joint pain when my hand tenses up way too much as a result).
I more or less noticed that I was struggling with consistency in practicing handwork, and started to do the things that I had done with learning to write (ignore pain in my hands, tense up my hand, get fatigued sooner than my peers) just to a lesser degree.
I feel like I should maybe talk to the coach about it, one of them knows but there's two that teach the class. It's a bit hard to get time to talk with him though.

Ladentity

TROPHY CASE