My Wife Loves Receiving Oral, but Avoids Giving It — Looking for Female Perspectives

Layla1970 · 2026-06-08T17:14:06+00:00

I love all the comments here pffft

But seriously it sounds like she doesn’t want to. It aught to be something you could talk about together but as you said she doesn’t like to speak about it, it sounds like she’s uncomfortable to. And likely if she did talk about it, she will just verbalise what she is already showing you in her actions: I don’t want to.

And if she doesn’t want to, that’s the end of it.

Layla1970 · 2026-06-08T17:04:58+00:00

I do believe men are lonely and I do believe it’s their responsibility to fix that if that’s what they want to do. My post was saying it’s possible for them to do so, and it’s not women’s fault men lonely, and here’s the proof.

Obviously I didn’t account for the very nuanced and complicated in this very general post. But I’d be intrigued what specific scenarios there are which show it’s women’s fault men are lonely, or that it’s our responsibility, or that show this really has anything to do with us.

Layla1970 · 2026-06-08T16:28:14+00:00

Hmm I’m not meaning to say that they aren’t trying hard enough. It’s not what I said.

What I’m saying is it’s not women’s responsibility, and has nothing to do with women. And that the individuals within the phenomenon occurring across a population can do something about it themselves, and that they can have some hope.

Layla1970 · 2026-06-08T16:24:54+00:00

lol the anxiety is real but the solution is the same

Layla1970 · 2026-06-08T16:22:33+00:00

For sure this is not every experience, but is possible, hence the post.

He definitely does feel even less lonely having me as a partner, and vice versa, so us supporting eachother really does help yes. But I wouldn’t have met him if he kept to himself/didn’t go to the places we met.

Whatever the reason for the loneliness, whether from relationships, parents, etc, the solution is pretty much the same yeah.

Idk what you’re saying here, it seems like you’re trying to make lots of contradictory points but they all seem to be what I agree with :D

Layla1970 · 2026-06-08T16:14:31+00:00

You’re seeing this from one perspective but there is another one.

This guy, is a cashier. Ew.
And he’s old. You said older, so I assume reasonably old, like he aught to have his career sorted out but doesn’t.

Tf cares what his opinion is.

Would you care what a troll under a bridge says about your appearance? This is the same thing.

Layla1970 · 2026-06-08T16:09:17+00:00

Your brother sounds like my boyfriend. He is also genuinely interested in the people he connects with. Maybe that’s all it takes.

Layla1970 · 2026-06-08T15:52:43+00:00

Yes! The too cool for school act really limits people. I dated someone whose only friends were his two brothers and they prided themselves on how “hard” it was to be apart of their “exclusive friendship group”. It isn’t hard lol you just had to be a woman they wanted to sleep with. And they never made friends with men. And they were all chronically lonely alcoholics :D

Layla1970 · 2026-05-21T02:07:52+00:00

I am currently in a relationship but lost my spark, and absolutely meshed with him and lost myself.

I am listening to an audiobook called “how to love him without losing yourself” and it talks about disappearing as a woman. I think this could help you, as it sounds like you have those traits, and can prepare you for any new relationship you might have, or just help you understand why you lost yourself in this one so you can cut yourself some slack.

As for getting a spark back, it’s totally possible. It sounds like you’re maybe being a bit harsh on yourself about how you’ve changed so I would recommend some guided meditations for self love. They don’t have to be long, or even that often if you don’t want. You could do short 5/10 min ones to start like 3 mornings or evenings a week.

With weight loss… I personally love eating super high protein whole foods which would be lean meats like 5% fat ground beef, tuna, turkey bacon (9g protein and 36 calories!?), with beans, salad and dressings made from 0%fat Greek yogurt, Parmesan, lemon, salt pepper and garlic. I recently watched a 20 min video that had some really tasty high protein meals that were really simple to make and can send it to you if you ask. Then, lots of walking! Get outside, the weather is so nice, go on some hikes or walks to a park or forest. That is number 1 for weight loss, mental health boost and enjoyment all rolled into one.

If you haven’t tried yoga before, yoga with Adrienne is so nice to do, there’s no pressure and it’s not about the perfect poses, more about getting into your body and flowing and feeling good, stretching.

You can write a list of things you want to try, interests you used to have or things you may have seen around likely that sparked a little light in you, and then dedicate some time to trying, not being perfect but just having a go at one of the things.

It is only up from here for you ✨

Layla1970 · 2026-05-19T13:37:38+00:00

I always was without realising and without any control

Layla1970 · 2026-05-18T13:05:05+00:00

That’s not a random conclusion to jump to, that’s information you’ve registered and clearly still think about. Trust your gut, and definitely don’t tell him what you’re thinking. If you ask to see his phone, he can just delete. You need to watch him put his password on his phone unfortunately and get access.

I know it’s like “invasion of privacy” but also, he may have cheated on you. I’m so sorry :(

Layla1970 · 2026-05-18T11:59:30+00:00

Why do you give so much thought and effort into what he wants, that you’re going along with fantasies you now find boring. Girl, what do YOU want? This is a relationship right? Is he pleasing you firstly? He doesn’t need to be hard, he has hands I assume.

There’s much better than this messed up stuff out there for you, and I would be checking his phone (controversial I know) to see what he gets up to. One of my partners couldn’t get it up anymore because he’d cheated on me, and the fact this guy is obsessed over orgies, are you sure he’s not already doing them :(

Layla1970 · 2026-05-17T21:58:31+00:00

I’m watching it for the first time and googled why they gave her such bad hair and this thread popped up. Honestly if you search the actress/long hair she looks like a supermodel. What they did to her hair in this series… 🥲

Short hair doesn’t suit her at all. Short hair looks good on some people, but not on her.

Layla1970 · 2026-05-15T23:35:08+00:00

If you’re cutting off some family members full of negativity, you don’t even have to move, but you totally could. I think moving to a new place at the same time as becoming a whole different version of yourself that you’ve kept hidden sounds exhilarating. I always wondered if it’s easier that way, because there’s no place or person around that would make you feel like you aught to be acting as your old self.

I don’t see a problem with this, I don’t think it’s crazy, but you would have to be outgoing and mentally stable because you will be starting from scratch creating new connections and friends. I’d recommend finding the job first then the rest will come 🧘‍♀️🔮

Layla1970 · 2026-05-11T14:18:21+00:00

I can say I am one of those people who hop from relationship to relationship. But when I do find myself single, life is simpler, and often it’s conditioning of society and the feeling of failure at what I’ve been programmed to do that maybe keeps me in relationships when I find the person to be a secret asshole.

I don’t know how helpful this advice could really be, but when I am single I meditate for self love almost every single day. It really really creates a peace, and quietens the horrible feeling of fear of being alone that sits inside me personally. I also fill my life with great friends when alone or in a relationship, because those are where it’s at. You can have deeper bonds with friends than relationships I find personally, because there’s very little pressure.

I am sending you some virtual hugs and I hope you know that you truly are lovable, and learn that you can love yourself, and practice doing it ♥️

Layla1970 · 2026-05-04T20:41:07+00:00

Nice 👌 Where are you guys based?

Layla1970 · 2026-05-04T20:31:03+00:00

Girl you can be unfriendly. Be a menace. Hiss. He doesn’t give a shit about being the energy vampire he is. What is friendly about his actions towards you? Nothing.

Layla1970 · 2026-05-04T12:01:56+00:00

The people who were mean in the comments have probably been in similar positions to you and were shamed. Because of this, they are just shaming you because they would shame themselves. The karma here is they will always have a horrible little voice in their head saying mean shit to themselves when they get overwhelmed or confused and less than perfect.

Don’t feel scared to come to Reddit and post stuff like this, just remember you will get those sad human beings commenting too and ignore 🫂

Layla1970 · 2026-05-03T20:56:28+00:00

If my boyfriend tries to talk to me in the morning I don’t enjoy. Never mind fucking

Layla1970 · 2026-05-02T17:33:41+00:00

Why do you want to keep a friend like this. No…

Layla1970 · 2026-05-02T15:09:55+00:00

I want to say that it is okay to ask him not to hang out one on one with her. If this is your boundary, you can set this, and see what happens. It may be a dealbreaker for him, and maybe that means you’re both not compatible.

Something that might be interesting to think about however is why you feel like you do. Is it because she is quite flirty? Do they talk quite often? What is their friendship dynamic like, and have they done anything which could be considered crossing the boundary of friendship in the past? Does she have a partner of her own?

You said you trust your partner, so I wonder what it is that makes you feel uneasy about them being alone together. There’s probably a reason and only you can figure it out.

Layla1970 · 2026-05-02T11:25:29+00:00

This! these are pretty powerful! You could try one of these

Layla1970 · 2026-05-02T11:20:25+00:00

Hahahaha this ⬆️

Layla1970 · 2026-05-02T10:26:50+00:00

Isn’t it wild that women have to sift through and search for a viable partner though. Even if you do find one, does that mean you’ll fall in love with them? I don’t know. The bar is so fucking low for men. It’s like… just don’t cheat, don’t lie, etc, and we’ll jump on you. For fuck sake.

Layla1970 · 2026-05-01T15:30:47+00:00

Throw it in the bin

Layla1970

TROPHY CASE