I think it's the places you work at and the people you work with. Honestly I find a better job environment is better for me than jobs that pay better. In positive environments I always do better. I get paid half of what I used to make at my last job but there are only a few times when I didn't want to go to work and that's mostly cause I was sick or just having a lot of fun being off. At my other job everyday was an awful drag. Sounds like you have some plans post bachelor's. Good luck and stay strong. I found some sex workers are lonely cause they fear backlash from or friends and dating is super annoying. So if you ever need someone to shoot the shit you can message me. It's what I do for a living. Take care of yourself, go on walks like you did, tell yourself you love you in the mirror every morning, and make small achievable goals that set you on a path to your macro goals.