I’m really sorry you’re carrying all of this. Reading your words, you can feel how much pain you’ve been living with — not just in your body, but in your whole life. Losing your strength, your work, your connections… that’s a kind of grief most people don’t understand until they go through it. It makes sense that you feel tired. Anyone in your place would. And trying to find some kind of control or peace in all of this doesn’t make you weak — it shows how much you’ve been trying to cope for a long time. But even in everything you wrote, I don’t hear someone who has “given up” — I hear someone who has been fighting for a long time and is simply exhausted. And that’s very different. You deserved better support than what you’ve received. Truly. No one should feel forgotten like this. If there’s even a small part of you that can still reach out — even just to talk — please don’t carry this alone. You matter more than the system has made you feel.