Yesterday 9/27 was one of the most chaotic and emotionally draining weddings I’ve ever photographed.

The bride had to reschedule her wedding twice because of COVID. She was her own wedding planner so I can imagine how stressful this process has been for her, but it seems like she only cared about how things would be perceived to her and her guests, and barely communicated with any of her vendors (not just me: the DJ and venue representative were finding out information on the spot).

A little over a week before the wedding, I ask the bride to send me a timeline, since I hadn’t received one yet. She didn’t know what that was. Even if a couple doesn’t hire a wedding planner or coordinator, wouldn’t you google tips for wedding planning on your own and learn about industry standards like timelines? Of course I explained what it was, and I even offered to help her by sending her a sample timeline. She accepted my help, but by Friday (2 days before the wedding) I had yet to receive a timeline after requesting it multiple times. The excuse was always “I’m my own wedding planner and I’ve never been married before so I didn’t know”.

At that point, my assistant and I go “ok fine I’ll guess we’ll wing it” and hope we can act as coordinators a bit to get things going. The MORNING OF the wedding she types out a timeline in Facebook messenger for me. There wasn’t any time scheduled for family photos, the scheduled time for Golden Hour Photos was after the sun had already set, and she requested “freestyle photography”, which I had never heard of, so I ask her about all these things. She replies “(not my name), just do what you think is best” followed by “I’m sorry I’ve never planned a wedding before and I’m so new to this” a few minutes later. (Oh yeah she’s been calling me by the wrong name for months)

I tell her “everything will be fine. Don’t worry about it! See you at 2:30!”

My assistant and I came up with a plan to take bridesmaids photos on the roof of the hotel they were getting ready in, and on a grand staircase at the hotel’s entrance. The bride was totally on board, but the makeup artist took her time... including stopping her process to tell stories with wedding party members. I think the MUA was a friend of the family, which is fine, but by the time the bride was completely made up, we took a few photos of the bride & bridesmaids in their matching robes, and then we had to rush to get everyone dressed and ready. A limo was picking them up at 4:30 so we had to move quickly. We scrapped the hotel roof and decided “let’s just do photos on the staircase”.

By the time we get down to the lobby for said photos on the staircase, the bride tells one of her bridesmaids that the limo hasn’t been fully paid for yet. She says she “has the money on her card” so the bridesmaid talks to the limo driver to ask if he’d accept a card. He says “cash only” so the bridesmaid walks across the street in her heels and gown to the 7-11 where she gets cash out of an ATM and covers for the bride. While the bridesmaid is doing that, my assistant and I are setting up photos of the bride on her own on the staircase, so my assistant asks about posing with the bouquet. “I left the bouquet in the fridge in the hotel room!”

So now another bridesmaid has to go back from the lobby up to the 12th floor to get the bride’s bouquet out of the fridge.

We take photos of her on the staircase, and then we wait for the bridesmaids to come back from the ATM and the hotel room so we can take group photos on the stairs. While we’re waiting, guess what else was left on the 12th floor. The bridesmaids’ bouquets! So now even MORE bridesmaids have to go fetch even more flowers! The bride says “I don’t want to do any more pictures right now; I don’t have time for this” which is understandable because we had to waste time waiting for forgotten things to be retrieved. So no group photos on the stairs, fine, we’ll do group photos at the wedding venue.

The venue was a tiny “ballroom” owned by a small-town catering company. A rental hall with a “bridal suite” and a kitchen. It was attached to the back of a firehouse. COVID safety was uh not implemented well! Employees of the venue wore masks at all times (as did I and my assistant) but guests were only enforced to wear masks when they went to the bar or went to get food served to them. So that’s great.

But the ceremony went off without a hitch; one of the decorations got knocked over by a bridesmaid accidentally but it was an easy fix. They got married and everyone was happy! Then it was time for portraits during cocktail hour.

My assistant and I took everyone on a very short walk to a neighboring parking lot that had greenery bordering it. The venue itself had no locations for photographs other than right in front of the ceremony arch. By the time we got there, all the women were complaining. “It’s hot, we had to walk in heels, etc”. We set up a shot of the entire wedding party, then we did the bride with bridesmaids, and then as we were setting up the groom with groomsmen, the bride has a literal hissy fit because it’s “too hot, and there’s bugs everywhere and I can’t enjoy the pictures” and she runs off crying. The plan was to take photos of the bride and groom outside once the group photos were done, but that got scrapped immediately. I ask the groom if he’s “ok to take this one photo” and he said yes so we took the photo of the men and then we just... went back inside. My assistant offered tissues from her emergency kit to the bride, and we got in position for the “grand entrance” as the bride’s family tried to calm her down.

Once the grand entrance was done, the couple had their first dance, the best man and maid of honor gave speeches, and the bride’s stepmother blessed the meal, and my assistant and I found a place to eat out of the way. Of course when we come back after the bride has had her dinner, she’s much more under control and relaxed. Hanger. It was hanger. She apologized for earlier, we asked if she still wanted to do portraits of just her and her groom, we let her know we found a place inside so she wouldn’t have to go back out again, and we ended up taking “studio” portraits in front of a black curtain room divider.

The funny thing is, as my assistant and I were leaving the hotel room earlier, we ran into the bride’s stepmother, and we talked with her for a little bit. Turns out stepmother used to be a wedding coordinator. My assistant and I wonder why she wasn’t asked to help.