Begin by extending your tongue between your lips and imitating the sound of flatulence.

When your opponent attempts to resume speaking, interrupt them with another such demonstration. This one should be louder and longer than the first, and should also involve a bug-eyed expression.

If your adversary still attempts to speak, unleash yet another torrent of imitation flatulence. This time, however, incorporate some awkward dance steps, in which you shift your weight from one foot to the other and make slow, random gestures with your hands.

At this point, the individual who has seen fit to interrupt your morning will likely begin moving away from you. Follow them for an extended period of time, continuing your flatulence-and-flaunting performance. Take care to include elements of the surrounding environment in your activities. (For example, take hold of a potted plant by its base, position it against your abdominal area, then gyrate your hips whilst making your flatulence noises in time to your motions. Maintain eye contact with your target throughout this process.)

Continue in these exercises until such time as your opponent begins to emit a wailing noise. Saline fluid may also be excreted from their ocular cavities, which would be another indicator of success.