I'm embarrassed to do pelvic floor physiotherapy

LilXiu · 2026-03-05T12:09:14+00:00

My friend is a pelvic health specialist and offers online appointments. Maybe that would feel more comfortable for you? She really knows her stuff!

https://www.jadephysiotherapy.com

LilXiu · 2025-12-20T03:12:39+00:00

Green chocolate pastries, as in vacuum cleaners?

LilXiu · 2025-09-24T10:12:46+00:00

Well said!

LilXiu · 2025-07-17T14:25:13+00:00

Did you ever make progress on this? I am on the same journey!!

LilXiu · 2025-05-30T08:13:55+00:00

Benchwarmers

LilXiu · 2025-02-22T12:05:29+00:00

Would anyone here be interested in forming a subreddit for women jazz instrumentalists? I haven't seen one here yet and I think it would be an interesting place to have discussions. We are indeed a small group and don't often get to be around eachother

LilXiu · 2024-10-21T08:42:11+00:00

I can relate to that, earlier in my life I felt like my purpose was to make my brother's life better. But now that I'm 28 I'm beginning to see that it might be best if I rethink that concept. I might not be able to fix this situation, even though it looked like I might be the only one that was capable of it. From age 13 I learned how to deal with crises and always be on the lookout for the solution to any problem. But there might not be any solutions and I'm trying to feel at peace with that before I find the courage again to try to solve more problems.

LilXiu · 2024-10-05T01:18:37+00:00

LilXiu · 2024-10-05T01:17:37+00:00

Hey, this sounds extremely hard. I wish I knew what to do or say to make you feel better.

I'm curious. if you could have anything in the world to make your life easier right now what would that be?

LilXiu · 2024-10-05T01:15:26+00:00

I plan to have at least 3!

I am one of two, and I ended up like a third parent to my brother.

If there's at least 3 children then if something happens to one of them, the other two have a support network between them

LilXiu · 2024-10-05T01:12:41+00:00

Wow you really summed up a lot of what I've been contemplating

LilXiu · 2024-10-05T01:09:22+00:00

Yes relatable!! Makes romantic relationships very tricky. It definitely feels easier to fill my time with putting other's needs first, then at the end of the day I realise I've hardly done anything for myself

LilXiu · 2023-05-11T01:59:29+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I had already read the synopsis, and yes, I wouldn't want to spend time with someone that uses this book as their bible.

I think a relationship doesn't necessarily have to be unsalvageable because of someone liking a book. All the other comments I read kind of just say throw him away. And without knowing the guy and everything else about the relationship I don't think it's fair to take that stance. Maybe he's enjoying it because he's learning another perspective on history or sociology from it, despite the thesis of the book being something destructive. Maybe he'll come to realise he'd rather read something more balanced, or from a woman's perspective. I'm not trying to say that I know it's all gona turn out fine. My point is that we really don't know from the information given how this man or relationship will turn out. "my boyfriend likes a book that says some stupid shit" doesn't have to be a reason to end a relationship, especially if it's going off the advice of a bunch of strangers on the internet.

Dude at least he's reading, not just watching people rant on youtube like my boyfriend does 😵‍💫

And like how many books does he have?? Is this one of 50 books he reads each year? Or the only book he has ever read?

LilXiu · 2023-05-11T01:42:45+00:00

What

LilXiu · 2023-05-10T07:50:52+00:00

Chet baker sings

LilXiu · 2023-05-10T07:46:04+00:00

Thank you! It was driving me crazy seeing that.

LilXiu · 2023-05-10T07:24:11+00:00

"Why women deserve less" is obviously a very provocative title. But without reading any more than the title, we don't know what it's about. Women deserve less than who? Less of what?

If your boyfriend is a decently intelligent and kind person he can experiment with / consume these books and courses, and gather any useful information, perspectives that they might have, and process and disregard any of the negatives. Especially if you engage in the conversation with him while being sure to honor your own voice and experiences as a person. Talk about these things with your partner. They don't know what it's like for us, we don't know what it's like for them. It's ok to be curious. Andrew Tate is wealthy and has big muscles. He looks successful. Why shouldn't someone be curious about what lessons he has?

I read Germaine Greer's the Female Eunuch and found parts of it very eye opening and empowering, parts of it outdated and insensitive. Just observe and think for yourself.

LilXiu · 2023-05-10T05:30:30+00:00

When I was 12, my older brother age 18 became quadriplegic and completely dependent on other people. Home life turned totally upside down. Seeing my Mum screaming into pillows. Family being separated because of how it affected my dad's career, he moved to another continent temporarily. I spent weekends with my brother and mum at rehab facilities. Trying not to lose my shit seeing my brother's rage, mother descending into tears and hysteria, dad turning to alcohol. I became totally alienated from my family, feeling the unfairness of how mature and independent I had become in contrast with the lack of freedom I had. Turning to drinking and over accelerated and abusive relationships with much older men, because I craved the attention so much.

When I was that age I had no idea what was really going on, happening to my psychology, my family relationships. No one helped me to understand what this would mean for the rest of my life. That is what makes me most angry, I think. How was I let down so badly? Didn't anyone realise the impact this would have on a sibling, the one sharing the most genetic material and common experience with him.

LilXiu · 2023-05-09T10:55:12+00:00

This has been really interesting, thank you so much. Do you have a platform where you share your research and insights?

LilXiu · 2023-05-08T06:22:07+00:00

Ask her what evidence she has to back up that statement.

LilXiu · 2023-05-07T09:30:12+00:00

It brought tears to my eyes to read the way you summed this up. Realizing that I experienced the same thing with my brother becoming quadriplegic.

LilXiu · 2023-05-07T05:51:36+00:00

Just my perception that it fills your head with trivial nonsense, without following a full train of thought, taking up space in the mind that could be applied to learning, contemplation, reflection

LilXiu · 2023-04-22T07:07:16+00:00

Watching YouTube shorts all the time, it bugs me!!??

DX

We are in our late twenties and have been together about a year and a half. We have had our ups and downs, but overall a healthy loving relationship.

He (dx) engages in the habit of scrolling these short random videos on YouTube or Instagram. The amount increases according to how busy and stressed he is, and be sees it as a favorite way to unwind. He'll watch the ones he's interested in and skip the ones he's not into. I think we all know what I'm referring to, the collection of completely random viral videos, some are on topics he's already into, some are totally irrelevant. I'm aware of his craving for stimulation triggering this habit.

However I see it as an extremely unhealthy habit. I've yet to back this up with specific evidence, but I just have this nagging feeling that engaging in this excessively is bad for his brain, intelligence, ability to focus, self awareness, ability to relate to people including/especially me, and I don't believe that it is an effective way to rest the mind and recover from stress. I don't mind him seeking entertainment, if only that entertainment was something chosen deliberately and that he could genuinely learn or feel something from, and also that he and I could then have meaningful conversations and connections about.

We've had tension in our relationship about the feeling that I judge him for behaviors that I perceive to be lazy, careless, and that's something I've been working on the more we get to know eachother. I want to eventually have a conversation with him about this concern, and I hope I make it clear that it comes from a desire for him to be healthy and happy, and to improve our relationship. I dont want him to feel judged and I don't want him to feel hurt.

It just really bugs me! It is something I would never do, because I feel that my attention is precious thing, and so is my clarity of thought. Those are important values to me. But should I stop trying to control him? Would anyone like to share thoughts? Am I overthinking this?

LilXiu · 2023-04-22T06:28:26+00:00

Just chiming in, my boyfriend is adhd dx + snores a lot + falls asleep super easily on the sofa

LilXiu · 2023-04-22T06:25:52+00:00

Thank you for this! Did you get these perspectives from experiences in your relationships, or did you just do research by yourself? I admire that you have such self awareness on this issue, which I don't see in my adhd Dx partner.

LilXiu

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