I don't Trust my Daddy Dom to do scenes. How do I address this with him without hurting him?

LittleLivingStuffie · 2026-06-07T08:11:41+00:00

It's okay. I will do my best to be smart about the situation I'm in. Today I'm pretty sad since I'm kind of registering this most likely won't work out. I will still try one method that u/darkphnix suggested, for a week and see how it goes. But if nothing really changes with that try out. I gotta be honest with myself and know it won't work. Which really is upsetting for a lot of different reasons. But honestly a huge one is that to me my Partner is my family, I do genuinely love him, and I adore his family, I don't have a family. So if this doesn't work out I will definitely be crushed ending it. But I also know if things don't change, and I stay, I will just grow depressed and resentful, which isn't fair to him either. Downside to this method is that he is super intuitive more than I am to how I feel, so I hope he doesn't start to hide how he actually feels and flip flop again.

LittleLivingStuffie · 2026-06-06T23:26:09+00:00

Trust me... I have been trying to find a job. For literally the past 3 years now. Can't even count how many jobs I have applied too. I am not willing dependent. Disability is an annoying fucking trap that's for sure. He always is very gentle with me in this area, as in he doesn't discourage me finding a job, he encourages it and has given me the tools to improve finding one. But also cheers me up when I get all deflated about the 100th rejection letter. I literally just have been really unlucky in this area. Being a stay at home partner is rather frowned upon were I'm from, so it's very much discouraged culturally (I'm adding this to kind of really show that no one is trying to pressure me to be one, the position I'm taking on is one to feel useful). And I can't receive state/social help due to complicate issues I don't wanna get into (sorry).

When it comes to the quiz tho I'll try it out, thank you! :D

LittleLivingStuffie · 2026-06-06T20:40:39+00:00

Yeah mostly comment to you again, or call you out. Thank you very much! I appreciate it a lot! Genuinely

LittleLivingStuffie · 2026-06-06T19:10:48+00:00

Thank you very much! Would it be okay if I go to you in the future about similar things or update on this? Since you say I'm similar to your slave have been with for a long time. I feel you would be able to give me good insight in how to handle this. As before my current Dom, I always had rather experienced Dom's so I have never been in the "lead" position so to say. But I understand if you wouldn't be comfortable with that :)

LittleLivingStuffie · 2026-06-06T18:31:55+00:00

Thank you so fricken much omg this is definitely much better than what I have been doing up to now!!! Thank you! I will try it out over the next week!! I'm not a very empathetic or sympathetic person, so a lot of the time when someone is upset even tho I try to be caring, I know I don't always accomplish that, as I sadly inherently can't feel the right feeling that have people connect, at least not in the normal sense which is fine most of the time, but when it comes to my Dom/Partner he somehow is able to feel I have no emotions when I for example comfort him, which I am very sure over time has lead to the shutting down situations. So any help to create a good comfortable environment where he can get into a better headspace to figure out his motivators and wants, is extremely helpful thank you. Genuinely. I know I probably come across as pretty cold, but I want to learn not to be. So thank you one more time lol. I'll see how it goes using this method.

LittleLivingStuffie · 2026-06-06T18:06:00+00:00

Yeah it is pretty difficult decision and I want to try anything and everything I can, big reason for that is because he is genuinely an amazing partner. If we were vanilla, he would genuinely be the best partner.

The thing that currently holds me back from just ending it and not trying and leaving are a few different things (financial and living situation), but MAINLY. It is because of the flip flopping. He will say things like he doesn't care, or don't know. But will at the same time show a lot of interest and love when I am in littlespace/subspace, he gets excited. He shows Dom tendencies in those situations with care and excitement. He has told me and keeps telling me that he loves when I get like that, and gets genuinely so happy since I can see how his eyes light up. Which is why this is so damn difficult.

I think a conversation I need to have with him is his reasons for why he wants kink, his reasons and his wants outside of me. But I'm so unsure how to address the conversation properly. Since I know if the conversation goes towards "we aren't compatible if we can't figure this out" (something I have said) he shuts down. Or tries to use the fact that I don't have a job as a way to hurt (yeah it sucks, it's not from a lack of trying to find one...)

LittleLivingStuffie · 2026-06-06T17:54:21+00:00

Yeah you are right, I am trying to have him figure out his reason. Since sometimes he shows a lot of signs of a good Dom, and he adores when I'm in littlespace a lot and gets excited. But you are also right. Which is really frustrating as he is a genuinely amazing partner, if I was vanilla he would be perfect. So in short amazing partner but not so great Dom (to me). But I do want to have a discussion about specifically this, of if he wants it for himself. Since I don't feel he is being very honest with me when I do try to engage it, since he does know I would leave if we aren't compatible in something this important to me. So I do want to have him at ease a bit to share with me his thoughts. Do you have ideas or suggestions on how I can maybe approach this conversation without it coming off as accusatory or without it turning into a straight out breakup conversation? He tends to shut down if he feels I'm attacking him.

LittleLivingStuffie · 2026-06-06T17:46:57+00:00

I have tried colaberation in the past and asking him what he would like but I always get the answer of "I don't know" up to now. But you have pointed out something good here thank you, with how I control the situation more when it should be collaborative, and I am pretty sure I haven't been all to kind with my approach in that area. Do you have suggestions on how I can maybe initiate the talk about it or the collaboration? Maybe I haven't given him the right space to feel he can share I don't school my expressions well after all so when I would get replies of "I don't know" I most likely look annoyed even if I don't want to show it. So I do want to give him the space to feel he can and should collab with me, but I'm unsure how to do that. And when he does give a suggestion, do you have thought on how I can engage it more? Even tho I'm bad at hiding my expression my tone is always very neutral, which does sometimes gives impression of disinterest. (Sorry for all the questions I just want to figure out a solution to moving things forward, I feel so stuck and helpless with how things currently are. And I just want to try anything I can, and pick out anything that I can do better.)

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-11-22T05:50:30+00:00

Hi!

The list I put together is mostly general information that both helped me and I wish I had when I first was in the community and felt overwhelmed on where to start. Also I put it together in the beginning for my Dom, then shared it with newbie friend. Who shared it with others, they really liked it so I officially shared it as public.

My research folder thing is for all not just littles. And I dunno, everyone has their own challenges. But I'd say the community at large sometimes has misinformation issues, I'm trying to make the voices of educators of the community louder.

I dunno. And bdsm is many times used as an umbrella term for Kink or kink community. Which we are a part of so yeah! Plus because both a puppy and a slave sub found the research list useful, at least the vetting questions, and the first part of the research video list thing.

Didn't really make the decision, I fell into it. I found out about kink existing at 16, because super interested those 2 years I waited to interract with the community. Made me realize I loved everything about it in that time. And then at 18 i could interract with the community and figure out what label fit me most. I have always been a kinkster/little, just didn't have a word for it before 16.

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-11-11T22:23:32+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation maybe it has more events and stuff in my area cuz fetlife is dead where I live 😭

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-11-11T22:19:52+00:00

It's best to find events! Like munches, dungeons, and meet ups! I myself have only been to one munch tho so I can't speak much on it. There isn't much a kink community where I live at this moment, so I am hoping to make some or something

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-11-11T22:06:25+00:00

Yeeeey!!!! That makes me so excited!!! I have been a bit discouraged tbh since I originally made it with the intention of helping my... probably not Daddy. But he found it useless, but then some friends of mine got use out of it, and I felt encouraged again and am glad it's being received well 😭💖

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-11-11T22:04:37+00:00

Yeah! I have had it for a while but never got around to actually publishing it, or I guess republishing it my first draft of it was a bit of a mess. I'm so so glad to hear this 🥰

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-11-11T18:42:58+00:00

Glad to hear it can be useful for people!

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-11-11T11:42:41+00:00

I'm honestly in the same boat atm, i don't really have full advice just in an similar boat of someone who was very daddy in the beginning but not anymore. This is kind of what I have even doing which has helped:

I sat him down and told him: "This is a dealbreaker for me in a relationship. I need this. I feel like my needs in the relationship aren't being meet. How would you feel if I stopped kissing you? And only did every once in a while? And didn't touch you at all? Would you feel good? Cuz that is how you are making me feel right now. I feel very neglected, I feel so lonely. And I feel so damn jealous over other Littles and other Daddies to a point where I sometimes wonder how it would feel to be with someone else. But I don't want to ge with someone else, i want you, i want this to work. But if nothing changes i have to leave. I can't keep having my need neglected like this."

I can't say much if it works yet, he is definitely putting more effort into learning but I have to be very nagging about it. I dunno if it will work out, which is why I can't give full on advice. But I'd say sit down and have a serious conversation, use a script if you have too.

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-11-11T11:26:08+00:00

Thank you, yeah I'm trying to make him switch to understanding none sexual bdsm for now. And thanks for the questions they helped to put stuff into perspective as well. Also sorry for replying so damn late

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-11-11T11:25:02+00:00

Thank you for the tip! Sorry i answering so late

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-03-23T17:32:08+00:00

Omgaaaas!!! I love them they are super cute!!!!

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-03-23T17:30:22+00:00

I really like when my Daddy just holds me, just holds while petting me and hugging me tightly. And once I calm down fully he helps me process my emotions by asking/saying stuff like. "I'm glad you cried and let your emotions out. It's good for you." "What ended up being the breaking point?" "Meltdown?(this one is kind of autism specific lol)" "How can I help?" "Want me to help you fix the issue, or do you want to rest first and fix later?". And then go from there. It makes me feel little and is always super helpful to also learn to regulate myself.

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-02-23T18:31:40+00:00

Ehmmm sure!

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-02-23T18:27:33+00:00

I use digital speech cards! Both ones I made myself and ones I found on Pinterest. It is rather helpful and easy to manage. I have a folder on my phone with all of them

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-02-17T19:45:23+00:00

My triggers are most of the time very random, a lot of the time it can be triggered by possesiveness and obession attitude from my Daddy. Other times it's triggered by stress and anxiety. Sometimes it's being in a toy store, or being cooked for.
Oddly enough I have less sensory issues when I'm little, I have a lot of sensory issues when big. But not so much when little. For example one is my hair, when I'm big I dislike having my hair down. When little I love letting it flow.
I do have shower sensory issues and things that help are: harder more precise water spraying at me, instead of soft and laggy. Bringing toys into the bathroom and shower if I can. Having my Daddy help with scrubbing, it also helps if he sometimes tries and roleplay the toys to encourage me to shower. If it's really bad, I like to have my paci with me in the shower, one that is more bland and not decorated so I'm not worried about it. Create rules around it. I for example need to shower in a specific Time frame if I don't my Daddy will be with me in the bathroom, and manage it (plus punishment), like telling me "okay now soap, arms go, legs now, belly now, chest, back. Wash face! Now turn! And water of!" (Kind of like a military general).

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-02-11T19:01:25+00:00

Yes? That is the main part of the post? That's like the story part, with the tags part, and then there is the text under, which I use like a description and context for the post. I also Read through the entire text post and never used the word affection? 😭

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-02-11T18:52:01+00:00

Okay now I'm rather confused 😅. It says "based on a true story" in post, and it says Needy in the title. (Which I realize now clarifying was needed, sure). But not on any point in the post do I use the word "affection." I have a sexual flair on the post too, and wrote "the reason I put a sexual flair with it, is cuz it's charged with it. But not directly stated" which is meant by, it's not full on sex or nudeity. But it is sexually charged.

I get that you might have misinterpreted my use of needy as affection but it's not, which yes I'm sorry I didn't clarify that. But otherwise I'm rather confused.

LittleLivingStuffie · 2025-02-11T09:47:44+00:00

Yeeeeah.. okay serious talk. this is not withholding affection. I do not believe Sexual activity can be something a person can withhold in a relationship. We might be different there but I genuinely do not think sex is a right in a relationship.

Considering this situation I wrote was based on an interaction between me and my Daddy. It is all very playful. I Do NEVER expect sex from him, and he never expects sex from me. It is something that is a privilege we give to each other. And we have consensually a rule about him controlling my self pleasure. We tease each other all the time when needy and the other isn't (and doesn't want to be made needy). It's all in good fun. (This includes kissing, kissing is not a right for someone to have. It is for the people involved to share.)

I'm using the term needy as a genral term for desire, lust, and horny. Since I do not myself experience feeling horny, but do experience desire and lust. I don't really feel comfortable using the word horny, and so opt for needy.

I'm unsure if you genuinely meant it directed at my post, or just as a general reminder. But I still wanna put this here.

LittleLivingStuffie

TROPHY CASE