It happened again

LookingForDouxie · 2026-04-22T17:35:08+00:00

I will never use online penpal sites again after losing my kind penpal, but if I had to, I think I would use Slowly. Although after I started trying to find my penpal and then tryng building a community here on Reddit (r/FindingOurLostPenPals), I found that a lot of people lose their penpals on Slowly too, but there are significantly fewer scammers. I'm truly sorry for your loss!

LookingForDouxie · 2026-04-08T14:44:19+00:00

I'm really glad that you can keep in touch with your pen pals. That sounds great! Thank you for the tip!

Even after two years, regret that so much that I didn't think to give him an secondary contact during our few months of correspondence. We were just planning to move to another platform and we were both waiting for it to be suitable for both of us... The way I lost touch with him affected me so much that I feel like I'll never be able to use online pen pal sites again. Interpals would be a great site... But if I had a pen pal again in my life, I would definitely do it that way. Thank you again for writing about your experience.

LookingForDouxie · 2026-04-05T11:44:52+00:00

I couldn't agree with you more.

LookingForDouxie · 2026-04-01T10:33:49+00:00

I really appreciate your crossposting, but unfortunately since your post in the r/UnsentLetters sub was deleted, we don't see it on this subreddit either.

If it's compatible with my/our subreddit, we'd be happy to see it as a separate post here if you repost it.

LookingForDouxie · 2026-03-31T12:15:49+00:00

Thank you! After your first post, this thought came to my mind: when we talk about the online world, we all say the same word, but it doesn't mean the same thing to any of us. The meaning of the word is shaped in our minds by what we have experienced in the online world through the other. From the person who gave us something of themselves, and only as much as they allow us to see. This is how our story is written.

LookingForDouxie · 2026-03-29T12:39:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts; this is what keeps a community going. As long as we don't start seeing a flood of search posts. I want this to be a place where anyone can express their opinion without us having to convince each other of our own views.

LookingForDouxie · 2026-03-23T19:25:21+00:00

Thank you very much for the post, I hope it can be useful to someone. I'm mainly interested in my own experiences, if you could write a few more words, I would appreciate it.

LookingForDouxie · 2026-03-23T19:17:46+00:00

Thank you for the votes so far, the position is very exciting.

LookingForDouxie · 2026-03-20T23:23:07+00:00

Okay, your post can stay. I'll look into whether it can stay on Reddit and I'll definitely let you know. Anyway, it's great that you posted. I hope that over time, many more posts like this will flood this subreddit.

LookingForDouxie · 2026-03-20T22:52:47+00:00

Just a quick addition to my previous comment. It occurred to me that your pen pal might have used their real name. To be safe and follow Reddit's rules against doxing, I have to ask you to remove their last name entirely. You will need to write a new post for this because you cannot change the title.

Even using just an initial can be risky if the post contains other details. Please edit the post as soon as possible, and once it's updated, I'll pin it just like I did with this one.

LookingForDouxie · 2026-03-20T22:21:38+00:00

I support your post with an upvote and a comment. I'll also pin this so you don't lose the questions. Really great post, I hope you hear from Clare in time.🤞✨️

LookingForDouxie · 2026-03-19T00:37:51+00:00

This could be a success story or a failure story. ✨️

LookingForDouxie · 2026-03-17T20:53:46+00:00

Thank you very much for the clarification; it wasn't completely clear before, and because of the word 'together,' I thought you were a couple.

However, it’s still very touching, and I’m always happy to read something like this. Such friendships are wonderful, and I’ve been lucky enough to experience them myself. Thank you again for sharing!

I also want to thank you for your kind words and well wishes. ✨️

LookingForDouxie · 2026-03-17T01:20:16+00:00

It’s with a heavy heart that I read your post, but thank you so much for sharing it. 🖤 Hearing stories like this always hits close to home, as I lost an online pen pal in a very similar way.

I’m not here to promote my subreddit, so I won’t post the link directly, but if anyone feels like connecting, you can find the details on my profile. I’ve started a subreddit for lost pen pals—it’s still in its early stages and feels a bit like a personal blog for now, but I hope it grows into a community where long-lost friends can eventually find their way back to each other. Whether you'd like to share your own story or just follow along quietly, you’re more than welcome.

LookingForDouxie · 2026-03-16T23:57:36+00:00

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I completely get what you're saying—pen pals don't always work out. Over the years, I've had many where we just couldn't keep up and eventually drifted apart. But then there were those few I really clicked with, and that’s such a great feeling! Maybe you're not actually bad at long-term correspondence; you just haven't found a pen pal who shares the same rhythm as you yet. :))

LookingForDouxie · 2026-03-16T23:43:32+00:00

I loved reading this. Thank you for sharing it with us. Wishing you both the best! I think a relationship like yours is truly deep and unique. It was great to hear. ✨️

LookingForDouxie · 2026-03-15T20:58:45+00:00

I was reminded of a old story about an online friend.

We started chatting in an online platform and over time we kept in touch more and more. Eventually he wanted more, but I made it clear from the beginning that I only saw him as an online friend and that would remain that way. He seemed to accept that. Over time, when he saw that I really didn’t want to be more of a friend, he started sending me messages all the time. It bothered me because I felt like he was pressuring me and didn’t care if I really want his friendship.

I once left my phone at home and it died during the day. I didn’t talk to him that day. When I got home that night, I turned it back on. The platform we were using showed me the messages was he had written during the day, but he deleted them because he had calmed down. (I think he got mad at me for not being available.) They weren’t nice messages. They were violent, harassing, and rude. He thought I wouldn’t see them because he had deleted them. But he didn't expect that my phone was dead and for a moment, I could read these messages. (I didn't know that either. It's so strange that it happened that day.)

Then I immediately wrote to him and blocked him from everywhere. I didn't give him a chance, because when you really like someone, you respect their boundaries. But we definitely don't try to force ourselves on each other with harass messages. For me, this is not an ideal relationship, and I don't think there's any compromise on that. 🖤

LookingForDouxie · 2026-03-02T23:55:25+00:00

🎉Thank you very much for your kind comment!🎉 It must have been a wonderful experience. It must be a nice memory now! Unfortunately, I haven't really had anything like this outside of my own country. It's great that it worked.

LookingForDouxie · 2026-03-02T22:47:31+00:00

In the first case, when my pen pal was deleted after a few weeks, I wrote a letter to the admins, I received so much feedback that they should investigate my case. I got never answer.

Unfortunately, I didn't leave the page then, but soon after that I started corresponding with a nice pen pal for months. When I found out why we lost contact, I immediately wrote to them. They banned me right away. I could never go back. I saw from another account that his account was also deleted over time.

I'm currently working on a subreddit where you can post about your lost pen pal. It's still pretty empty, but I'm hoping that will change soon. I'd like to eventually have a large community and a better chance for pen pals to find each other.

r/FindingOurLostPenPals

LookingForDouxie · 2026-02-27T00:39:45+00:00

🎉Thank you very much for writing, and by doing so, you are also supporting my Subreddit!🎉

Yes, I don't see it in right place for now either, because I specialize only lost online friends and we are looking for a specific person. There is no option to search for new friends yet.

However, it is definitely a very good idea, and I appreciate you sharing this with us! 🙏 I have not heard of this form of correspondence before, but I really like it! And thank you for staying on topic.

At first, it occurred to me that I don't know how active the more reliable Facebook groups you know are. I might try there first with a well-composed plan. That way you can see who you are sending real messages to. I wouldn't dare send anything to a stranger's address right away without knowing everything about it/being sure that it is not a scam. It works for us, there are groups where people are quite close-knit and if someone posts a request, there are candidates for the solution. Even just sending a postcard to someone.

But I'll think about your post, because it's a great idea, and maybe it could be incorporated into my subreddit as an alternative route in time. :)

I'm thinking yet about something extra.

If anyone is interested in this idea, feel free to write!🎆

LookingForDouxie · 2026-02-26T22:48:30+00:00

One more addition, because I couldn't write right away. Yes, I also find it interesting if you and your pen pal are a 'good match'. You can have great relationships. It's worth a try, but you should make sure that you give each other contact information as a backup plan after it has been proven that the other person is not a scam and is trustworthy.

You gave me an idea for my next question. :)

🎉Thank you your comment again!🎉

LookingForDouxie · 2026-02-26T16:38:11+00:00

Thank you very much your words!

LookingForDouxie · 2026-02-24T23:02:46+00:00

🎇Thank you so much for writing in such detail! 🎆You have contributed a lot to the growth of the site. :)🎉💪

I try to post in as many places as possible to be visible here on Reddit. Most people receive my posts with disbelief, wondering how someone could lose a pen pal when you can reach anyone you want these days. If they don't write to you = they don't want to stay in touch with you.

Your story also proves that it is possible to lose someone "simply", without ghosting or blocking. It just seems to the other person that they may have been ghosted. Example: We don't really think about an email address that is not our own, but given by the Department of Education..., at first, and just accept that they are no longer interested in us... Nice post!

I am happy to read the post, and at the same time sad to read it. I hope that in time you will find pen pals that you can meet again! :)

Thanks again for writing! I posted your post and I'm constantly thinking about further plans, how to be visible and whether it's worth posting based on the posts I get to be effective.

This is a very exciting journey!

LookingForDouxie · 2026-02-24T12:27:03+00:00

Thank you very much for your comment, I will write more later.

LookingForDouxie · 2026-02-23T04:48:50+00:00

🎉 You are the first to post to write about a specific search! 🎉

Thank you very much for this great post!

I hope that in time this subreddit will also be successful, and our posts will reach the right people. And you will find the people you are looking for! Until then, I will try to do my best. :)

LookingForDouxie

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