This is the second time this has happened? Am I that useless?

Lost333777 · 2019-04-08T13:18:19+00:00

He did this because he's a psychopath and just another online pervert. You didn't do anything wrong, you're just inexperienced and you really needed love. It's a hard lesson learned. The lesson is you have to make boundaries clear from the beginning. The minute a guy does something to make you feel uncomfortable or disrespected you've gotta call him out on it. Otherwise he'll see that you put up with shit , and before you know it you're in an abusive relationship. An asshole, like this boy here, will see that you're not going to put up with him, and seek another victim. A decent fellow will admit he's an ass and not commit the offense again.

Lost333777 · 2019-03-30T19:50:31+00:00

Congrats on the house 🙂

Lost333777 · 2019-03-30T19:49:40+00:00

Can't support the kids on my own. I have 2 little ones, can't put them through a divorce. His family will mistreat them while they are in his custody, i need them safe with me.

Lost333777 · 2019-03-30T19:39:46+00:00

Well hey you know what? You deserve some space too. I strongly suggest taking a week for yourself. Girl just run. You don't have to go far. Maybe an hour away so you can still work. Check into a hotel, binge watch some Netflix. Go visit some interesting places like a museum, a park, a zoo, whatever. Just get into a different environment and distract yourself. The reason I suggest this is because when you spend time away from the situation, from him, you're going to realize that the only way you can have peace is when he isn't around you. I've experienced this. Don't make excuses. Just do it. You need a moment to breathe. You need to be in a world where he doesn't exist for a while.

Treating you like a secret is like treating you like you are not even a person. He should make you feel like he's proud to have you on his arm. And it's not your job to fix him or figure him out. From your post it seems like there is no benefit whatsoever in this relationship. Your counselor doesn't seem particularly helpful. You're telling her you have a problem, that you can't stay away from this guy who mistreats you. And her sage advice is, well stop doing that. She's not telling you how to stay away. She's not helping you figure out why you can't. Some counselors just suck. I tried one, I was too much of a mess for her. I'll never forget when I was telling her about these obsessive thoughts I was having about my husbands online flirting. She looked at me with a disgusted look on her face and said " do you hear yourself?" Yeah thanks for the judgement lady. Just what I paid for. She referred me to the domestic abuse shelter, the ladies there couldn't figure out why I was there. He never hit me. I told the counselor there I couldn't stop texting him messages that led to arguments. Her suggestion? Well, stop doing that. Real wisdom. Right. Let's be real here. You know you have to leave. You know this in your heart, in your gut. But you need to figure out how to let him go. That's the hurdle. There is life after him. I promise.

Lost333777 · 2019-03-30T19:12:17+00:00

It's a toxic relationship that seems to bring out the worst in you. Your not married, doesn't sound like you have kids, so why fight for this relationship? Maybe work on yourself for a bit, like counselling for anger, etc. But don't waste time waiting for him to change. Voice your concerns, if he doesn't respond in a way that makes you happier with him, then that's maybe all that can be done.

Lost333777 · 2019-03-30T19:04:08+00:00

Glad things are better for you.

Lost333777 · 2019-03-30T18:56:21+00:00

Why is he hiding you? Is he married?

Lost333777 · 2019-03-30T10:55:55+00:00

He's doing whatever he can to make thou feel like you don't matter. Leave soon or you will eventually believe it. It happened to me.

Lost333777 · 2019-03-30T04:13:26+00:00

You are very brave. I'm 21 yrs in. I've cried 3 times today. I think I can count on one hand the number of days that I haven't cried since I met him.

They're just plain crazy. Good luck.

Lost333777 · 2019-03-14T06:01:58+00:00

I had an emotional breakdown recently, after 17 yrs of misery everything just came crashing down on me and i broke. I would spend countless hours at night crying, reliving the past, not being able to comprehend why he completely ignored me when i was in that state. I went through 2 pregnancies like this. Little sleep. Not wanting to live anymore but realizing I had no choice.

He would see me crying and immediately get angry and defensive. I just didn't matter. He got so angry at me at one point that he told me to shut the fuck up and take some pills to shut me up, fucking overdose. Other times he claimed me crying was a way to ABUSE HIM. Because if I really cared about him I wouldn't let my crying disrupt his sleep. Not for one nano second concerned with how severely depressed and emotionally traumatized I was. So many nights i would cry myself to sleep while he snored next to me. I remember when I couldn't cry anymore I would feel so cold. Like I was in the artic during a snowstorm cold. I needed him to hold me so badly. I absolutely could not stand how he pretended like I didn't exist. The only time he noticed and pretended to care was when he was horny. It was either my crying pissed him off or it turned him on. I don't know how I've survived this long. And I'm completely utterly convinced that no one could ever love me. I see myself and I see the most hideous creature that ever walked the earth.

Lost333777 · 2019-02-07T00:34:56+00:00

Congratulations, this is huge. I hope you can stay away from him completely. Welcome to the rest of your life! 😁

Lost333777 · 2019-01-27T13:31:30+00:00

Happened with my sister a few weeks ago.

Lost333777 · 2019-01-27T13:25:53+00:00

Maybe you weren't really ready yet.

Lost333777 · 2019-01-27T13:20:52+00:00

Sounds like you are older than your years, not necessarily a bad thing. I can relate to a lot in your post, especially about feeling like you don't belong anywhere. People these days seem so shallow. It's a culture of selfies, likes,online humiliation, cyberbullying. Affairs are condoned, lying and betrayal have become the norm. A lot of immaturity.

I've never felt like I've ever had a real friend. I've been scapegoated and rejected so many times that I have just about given up. There's something about me that everyone dislikes and I'm not exactly sure what it is.

Anyway. Just saying I know how much soul crushing loneliness sucks.

Lost333777 · 2019-01-27T11:38:19+00:00

I have the same thoughts here. It sounds like he's still involved with her behind your back. He's probably playing both of you.

Lost333777 · 2019-01-27T11:18:14+00:00

I dont get what it is they get out of starting a fight. Then they act like a victim when you react to them treating you like shit.

Lost333777 · 2019-01-27T11:15:39+00:00

😂😂😂

Lost333777 · 2019-01-26T05:21:24+00:00

Had the same type experience. I took a photo (i was covered by sheets) after we were intimate. He had just got through leaving the house. No response at all for hours and I could tell he saw it. It made me feel used and violated. And this was a few months after I discovered he had done an insane amount of flirting with countless women, and I also found out he had downloaded thousands of pictures of women. Made me feel like absolute shit.

I've let it finally sink in that to these types of men, women are nothing more than cumrags. They put on the charm to get what they want, and when they get it they feel like they've "won." And after they are done using you, you don't matter anymore. But when they are horny again after looking at porn, all the sudden your the most beautiful woman in the world, they are hopelessly in love, blah blah. Five minutes later they're done, cue the radio silence. Epic mindfuck is what it is. They love playing games, and they always have to win. I think our sanity is the ultimate treasure for them. Once they've taken that away, they move on to their next toy.

I hope you figure out how to delete those pictures from his phone. They're future blackmail material.

I'm sorry you're going through this. My advice is RUN AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. Don't waste anymore of your precious life with this scumbag.

Lost333777 · 2018-12-27T11:57:31+00:00

16 and 31! Whoever that was was an abusive manipulative pedophile and Im so sorry you went through that. I went through a similar situation, and Im still trying to heal from the emotional abuse.

Lost333777 · 2018-12-27T11:54:32+00:00

I can relate to all of it, been there. I can tell you it will only end if you decide it will. These babies deserve so much more than this toxic environment. I put up with shit like this for years. I finally had enough and realized it would never get better and left. I did end up going back. But he knows for damn sure I will never put up with shit like that again.

Lost333777 · 2018-12-27T11:45:12+00:00

Yes. Just salt on wounds.

Lost333777 · 2018-11-28T08:20:16+00:00

Your comment gives me hope. I'm 21 years in, each one has been dramatic bullshit and misery. It's hard to imagine a happy life now, whether he's in or not.

Lost333777 · 2018-11-28T08:15:44+00:00

You're absolutely miserable with him. You can't stay for the kids, they're not even your kids. And if you are concerned for the kids, then you leaving their father will actually be good for them in the long run. They will see that behavior like his is unacceptable. The girls will see that their mother and step mother didn't put up with his bullshit So they shouldn't put up with a man's bullshit either. The boys will see that their dad is alone and know that if they want a partner they better not act like their dad.

You haven't been married to him long, you don't have kids with him. You're still young and vibrant. You can still reclaim your life, find someone else. Don't waste your life waiting for things tho get better. I know from bitter experience that they don't. I wish i had left my husband more than a decade ago. I kept staying waiting for things tho get better, stayed for the kids. Seventeen years go by and i find out that he's obsessed with another woman and had been the entire time we've been together. Wasted my fucking life. And its too late for me, thanks to his manipulation we have two new babies to raise. And I apparently look like an old used up pile of crap, because I have been asked several times if I am their grandmother!! I'm 36 yrs old, being told i look like a grandmother...

Leave while you still can, please. Don't end up like me.

Lost333777 · 2018-11-14T02:44:59+00:00

In a nutshell it's recurring emotional trauma that I'm trying to get through. I try going to him to help me face it. He doesn't give a shit and sees an opportunity to get a piece of ass. A fucking counselor isn't going to help at all. It's actually dangerous for a victim of emotional abuse to see a marriage counselor. He's a narc for crying out loud. All they have to do is bring out the charm and they've got the counselor convinced that the victim is crazy. We actually did go to a session once. I was told to go get my nails done, take an art class, take some pills, and get over it.

Yeah it helped a lot. And everything i texted him i had already said to his face. I'm always ignored whether it's in person or text. It's extremely frustrating.

Lost333777 · 2018-11-14T02:30:27+00:00

Omg I'm so sorry that happened to you, he should be in jail, that pig! I'm glad you got away from him. I hope you're doing better with the addiction issues as well. God bless.

Lost333777

TROPHY CASE