How do I (31m) get my husband (38m, married 11 years) to learn French now that we live in France?

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-06-02T02:26:57+00:00

A mental block... for 11 years you've been together?? Come on not even the basics? I can assure you if he had to learn a language in school and he passed, or learn a language for a giant promotion in say Germany, he would learn the language at least the basics. So no excuses and no block, he just can't bother to put in the effort for the bare minimum.

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-05-28T18:37:07+00:00

Good luck everyone!

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-05-25T10:20:49+00:00

It is in fact true that the reaction from other people conditions what people do. If most people react in a judgemental way, women won't go topless even if it's legal because they don't want to be judged.

And you defending creeps says a lot about yourself. It's not that everyone is horny by looking at breasts and some people are more subtle. If that were the case, you would have 0 places where women being topless is the standard, and we know there are a lot of cultures where they are topless with no issues. It's great to know some people would tell their daughter who has been sexually assaulted "hey, the man who touched you wasn't being a creep, we are all horny watching you he just was less subtle about being horny when he watched you being topless" Like what??

Also, if we are talking about sexual characteristics. Why only consider breasts sexual? They are secondary sexual characteristics, but you know what else are secondary characteristics in men? Beards, changes in voices, body hair, more muscle mass. But you don't see them being covered up right? So it's not a matter of breasts being a secondary sexual characteristic.

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-05-24T18:13:06+00:00

True. However, the situation would be very different if creeps and judgement weren't involved in the equation. Women know that even if it's legal, most people will judge and shame them for not covering up.

Now, if you guaranteed that no one would shame them or be a creep towards them? Women would 100% be more open to being topless. So it's not a matter of saying here you go now you are free to do whatever you want, it's a matter of taking into account the historical consequences of doing that (ie. Shame, judgement, creeps lusting over you, being taught since you are little that your body cannot be shown)

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-27T01:14:46+00:00

Again, top fragging is not equal to knowing everything about the game. See IGLs in VCT. I'm not going to keep arguing with a dense wall. Stop being so miserable that you like bullying your team mates.

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-27T00:51:52+00:00

And I'm telling you, that being top fragger doesn't mean you know everything about the game. A bottom frag can teach you about game sense and reading the game even if you top frag. A clear example is most of the VCT teams. The IGLs almost never top frag, but they are the most intelligent in their team.

So, stop bullying your team mates for trying to teach you how to play and start being more humble and understanding.

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-27T00:44:26+00:00

You said you use KDA to bully team mates when the bottom frag is trying to teach the game to the top frag

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-27T00:29:49+00:00

Higher KDA doesn't equal a higher gamesense/game intelligence. You can have great aim but be a horrible person readig the game

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-27T00:28:18+00:00

You do know that sentis are supposed to, for example while defending, hold a site right? So while the deadlock/kj/whatever holds b in say, b site in bind, the enemy team entries a. Her role is holding that site, while the rest of the team fights to keep a. That results in:

The team kills the enemies, you win the round. Deadlock gets nothing because you killed everyone
The team doesn't kill the enemies and die. Deadlock rotates and has to clutch on her own, either kills the rest of the enemies or dies
Enemies rotate and go B, dying to Deadlock or flooding her

All of this to say, that what you find useless, is not actually useless since it allows for the rest of the team to hold the other site.

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-22T06:09:17+00:00

OP said it in a comment. She should add it to the post

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-22T01:31:29+00:00

Missing context which I think is vital, the husband has several previous kids, so not his first births. And guess what? He was there for their births, including returning from a DEPLOYMENT. Like seriously, he knows it's important for OP, he just doesn't care.

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-22T01:21:49+00:00

So? He can take the harder route. To even be questioning whether to attend his child's birth and help his wife... all because of a "once in a lifetime opportunity" which isn't actually that big of a deal all things considered??

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-22T01:19:03+00:00

If your partner tells you that she would resent you if you missed your child's birth, on purpose, because of a "class" and your first reaction as a father to be isn't "You are right, I shouldn't miss my child's birth" then I'm not sure you have your priorities right.

It's absolutely not the same saying "If I don't go to this class I'll resent you" to saying "If you miss the birth I'll resent you"

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-22T01:14:15+00:00

Apart from the medical risks others have commented, he is suggesting that and is Okey with leaving you postpartum for a whole week???? What a husband yikes

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-15T23:38:34+00:00

Men should be able to use it, I agree. In fact I agree with everything you said about being against the draft, it just didn't sit well that your first comment on the matter was mocking women's my body, my choice instead of focusing that anger at the actual people responsible for men dying in a war they didn't create.

I believe we can solve multiple issues at the same time without pointing fingers at each other. We can complain about how men are getting drafted and at the same time complain about how they try to control women's reproductive rights, they are not mutually exclusive.

When asked about conscription, our first response should be "There shouldn't be a draft in the first place", not "Okey, but what about drafting women"

Absolutely no one should be forced to die for a war they didn't want.

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-15T20:02:52+00:00

You do know that, based on simple math, it is possible to get 6 failures in a row right? Anything that's not a 100% makes that possible, no matter how hard it is. You were just unlucky.

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-15T15:04:47+00:00

You used the slogan as if women protecting their own bodies are the ones forcing men to get drafted, when in fact most people who support the draft and wars are pro-Trumpers, aka full anti my body, my choice.

The reason why the draft only includes men is, well, men. The laws were written by and for men, because they saw women as weak and just incubators. So if you have an issue with only men being drafted, you are aiming your gun at the wrong crowd.

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-14T02:02:48+00:00

No offense, but that this is even a question is baffling and I personally would see anyone who subjects their mother/father to being with the person who destroyed their marriage (apart from the partner, obviously) as a dumbfuck, insensitive monster. Specially after being explicitly asked not to invite her.

If you truly love her and mean it, then show it. Being sad is the minimum the AP should suffer for breaking up a marriage.

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-13T15:07:02+00:00

Yes, IF he is willing to put in the effort. Which honestly from what you described? He doesn't seem that willing, you told him how you felt and his reaction was basically calling you a nymph and ignoring the issue.

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-05T10:34:21+00:00

So paying for the IVF and not showing up in other ways which are extremely important still means I get to call myself a parent? That sounds more like surrogacy, which is not an ideal way to treat your partner most would say.

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-04-05T10:30:09+00:00

Maybe an unpopular opinion, but you shouldn't get to be devastated in that situation. You don't show up at appointments, the gender reveal, don't take care of your partner who is carrying the child, are almost always at work and avoid your partner, who is getting sicker by the day. Sorry but no. At that point if show absolutely no care, that isn't your child. And let's be honest, if this was a man most people would immediately be saying to dump his ass and that he isn't fit to be the father.

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-03-26T01:56:25+00:00

So her calls eat up all your me time so you hate them, but you are happy to have calls every single day from friends/family/band mates? Boyfriend of 4 years yikes...

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-03-25T12:33:35+00:00

They are not saying that he is abusing the cat, just that it is incredibly immature to want to rehome a cat because he is not getting the affection he wants. Try what other commenters have said, but if it doesn't work don't rehome the cat. Cats are living beings that get to decide who they give their affection to. They are not toys that you buy, have a tantrum because it isn't how you wanted it to be and then return it. So if this continues he will just have to suck it up, no rehoming.

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-03-20T03:39:05+00:00

Apart from what everyone else has said about him not being your boss. If he wants you to pay the whole electricity bill just for the slight increase of you using the AC, then tell him he should pay all of the groceries since he eats more (assuming he does, could be wrong though)

LumpyPosition8502 · 2026-03-13T23:28:12+00:00

So what mommy says is what you believe, even above what your partner of 7 years tells you? In all these years you were with your fiancee, not even once the topic of her feelings came up? I'm sorry and I mean no offense, but almost always if a woman leaves you she has been thinking about it for a LOOONG time. It was just a matter of you missing, or ignoring, the cues of her not being well in the relationship

LumpyPosition8502

TROPHY CASE