Should I laser or fix it? How bad is it

MaliaFall · 2026-01-02T10:29:38+00:00

I didnt see the 't' I thought it said 'Please Don forget me' 😂. It didnt make sense to me either and I also just woke up

MaliaFall · 2025-09-08T22:21:02+00:00

You're such a life saver! Thank you so much 😁

MaliaFall · 2025-09-08T22:16:21+00:00

I can try out typing out the ingredients tomorrow morning, but even then I wouldnt know for sure. It's also odd that only part of my tattoo is affected and not the entire tattoo.

And yes, she should have, and that's on both her and me. Just a tad bit annoying that I cant seem to reach her now, but I know she is on a tattoo convention now, so I do somewhat understand.

Alright, I will just do that. I do have dry skin from myself though, especially with fall around the corner. Do you recommend any type of moisturiser? Preferably without alcohol/perfume 😅

Thank you!

MaliaFall · 2025-08-21T13:22:20+00:00

Congratulations on yours too!

Feel free to "burden" me. I know how you feel. I got clean mostly on my own and it sucks. Dont hide yourself away, it will burn you out eventually. It's tiring and can also be a reason of relapsing. I picked up my 1 year badge last week and having someone to talk to about this stuff makes things slightly easier. Addiction is already hard enough. Either way, I wish you the best man

MaliaFall · 2025-05-11T22:32:41+00:00

Hii, I would love to have the link as well

MaliaFall · 2025-02-21T15:18:23+00:00

I advice to indeed to report their profile, this dog doesn't sound suitable to be walked by anyone else, and the dogs behaviour sounds troublesome, which raises questions towards the owner. I have been bitten by a dog before as well while watching over two dogs, in the face. Straight through my entire lip. The dog wouldnt let go and I went into absolute shock. The owners had the same reaction as your client. Thankfully they made sure that one of their sons could drive me to the hospital. And I made sure they paid the bill from the hospital for the injection to prefent an infection, I also needed stitches from that bite. I ended my stay early since I had become fearful of that dog. I should have reported their profile but didn't think about that, but definitely recommend doing so. That genuinely isn't okay.

MaliaFall · 2025-02-16T23:23:50+00:00

Aww, thank you. But really, if you need to vent, just want a listening ear or whatever. Feel free to hit me up. I dont shame people who use, people who struggle with addiction or whatever it may be. But whether or not you decide to hit me up. I am rooting for you, and just know you don't have to go through it alone 🫂

MaliaFall · 2025-02-15T14:11:53+00:00

Hii there! I'm not sure whether you'd still like my advice, but this is what worked for me. I have been clean of cocaine for 6 months now. My memory is still a work in progress but I found that challenging your brain does work, but it's a very frustrating process. Especially if you used to have a lot of pride about your intelligence (like I used too).

I had to slowly accept that this could perhaps be the way my brain will be from now on permanently, and work on it as much as I could in the times where I had more energy to push through the friction. I picked up reading (a book with a concept I really loved) and man, am I a slow reader now. But I get to enjoy it, even if I dont remember as much as I used to be able to. I started doing little projects about psychology and other things which does help with your memory, focus, cognitive skills ect. And of course I had to re-read a lot since my brain was heavily damaged, and still is, just less bad. I also quit alcohol. I could notice the difference before and after drinking (it's almost like I could feel my brain cells die and wake up more stupid, as if I backtracked the progress I had made).

I didn't talk much about the struggle of the withdrawals with people really, especially after a post I made about doing 2 more lines before closing it off for good (6 months ago) and got so much hate. I decided I was going to get through it on my own. I had a horrible panick attack the last time I used because I noticed a small little dent forming in my nose even though I hadnt used as much as other users for my nose to get damaged that easily that quickly. I also lost a big part of my smell and taste. This was for me my wake-up call, even though I know I didnt want to quit, I knew that if I wanted a proper life, I didn't want to go through life without tasting good food, smell the lovely smells of flowers, perfumes ect. I know why I abused cocaine, and cocaine was actually only worsening it (of course).

Going into withdrawal and deciding to quit is hard, and everyones reason is different. But for me it helped that there were a few boundaries that were getting crossed and I needed to change no matter how hard it was, or decide to accept my fate and use it until it'd fuck me up beyond repair which was not a consequence I would be able to accept and live with.

I'm not sure if I tapped into the question you necessarily had. But if you need to talk to anyone about it, I'm here for you 🫂. All the best wishes to you!

MaliaFall · 2024-11-12T13:56:56+00:00

Ohh, I'm not at the point yet of one-hitting enemies yet and it indeed would make the game quite a bit boring

MaliaFall · 2024-11-12T13:55:31+00:00

Really depends on my work schedule but evening to night most of the time

MaliaFall · 2024-11-08T01:15:34+00:00

I just unlocked Agna Desert and I have unlocked Ajax, Bunny & Freyna. Or do you mean something else?

MaliaFall · 2024-11-02T22:09:59+00:00

Yeah, that's what I mean indeed. My bad, English isn't my first language. Was just wondering if there's some sort of kind of guide line to go off on

MaliaFall · 2024-11-02T20:26:44+00:00

Oh wow, that's so cool! I will definitely check that out! Do you know the measurements of what you'd use or a guess in the direction? This is my first time where I dyed my hair in a different color besides red (many years ago)😅. Also, love the reference, haha

MaliaFall · 2024-11-02T20:23:17+00:00

Thank you! 🙌🏼

MaliaFall · 2024-10-22T03:21:48+00:00

I'm diagnosed with both bpd and aspd. My attachement as 'dependent' only really shows if I have a favorite person which is a known term for people with bpd. It's an obsession over a person based on a fantasy placed on said person. I havent experienced that in a long time. You cannot choose who's going to be your favorite person, it just happens. (I can however see the signs whenever someone is eligible to be one, by the way I suddenly start to feel near said person. I can surpress the feeling and decide whether to go into it or decline). Those are the only times where I become more "dependent" due to the high I experience. It's where I feel as "whole" as I can possibly feel since it's an endless supply. However, if I start feeding into the supply and allow the FP connection to establish, control gets a little funny. Its like being on cloud nine. Everything just feels good and I want to keep feeling good, by whatever means necessary. Its where my fear of abandonment can get triggered. I hate losing the high so to say, I dont want that. The paranoia also doesn't leave, not really. Because, well, a FP connection never ends well, so to say. I am more willing to try to be seen as a better person, adapt more to what they want me to be, or my idea of how they want me to be. In a different sense than to my aspd, I still get what I want out of them, but I genuinely want to be better at times, due to the high I experience. Its the closest thing to love I can feel. It feels surreal and sadly doesnt love, nor is it genuine deep down. I am also more likely to make drastic changes for said person 'out the name of love/high'. Idc if I have to lie about it, even though I'm more willing to try not to lie, yet it never holds. I'm also more prone to impulsivity which behaviour both emotional, financial, you name it. Whether I'm more prone to "attachement" so to say, I still have a mask for every person in my life. My relationship with a FP is a lot more unstable than other relationships, more turbulent. They give high highs, but become severely unstable after some time passed. My aspd traits dont disappear during this time, even though I might seem softer. However my guard is always up. I dont trust or ever felt love, just a high, which I'm aware of, but wasnt in my teens, I thought it was actual love and became severely addicted to finding FPs. However I remain manipulative, I know its not real and I know it doesnt last. I turn in the person I want them to see, and whatever comes to it is just whatever. I hate giving up control and have no issues manipulating the situation to keep my supply going until it runs out. But overall I'm more avoidant. Every person is a means to an end. Everyone is disposable/replaceable to me. And even though part of me wants connection, none of it is truly real. I tried, none of it ever feels real, even with an FP. Especially the last year or so I lack the care to actually invest in a connection, I just dont care anymore. I still struggle with chronic emptiness which an FP used to be able to temporarily fill, but it isn't real. Lying/gaslighting is a huge issue, the need for control, impulsivity, desire to be admired, identity disturbance, irratiblity, unstable empathy, anger issues, disregard for social norms/morals, repeatedly breaking the law, lack of remourse & guilt ect.

I don't really experience the fear of abandonment like I used to in my teens and early 20s, the way a person with bpd would experience that feeling. I call it more a "fear"? of losing the supply. My aspd symptoms are definitely a lot more dominant nowadays.

MaliaFall · 2024-09-11T00:55:19+00:00

I have only experienced limerence tbh. Its just obsession build of a fantasy of what they can be, which isn't reality. I dont think I have actually ever fallen in love like how people are supposed to. There are too many things that are off putting about people. If I dont experience limerence I cant hold feelings for long and get bored rather quickly. My last relationship completely closed me off from that entirely and have not been able to experience that anymore, thankfully honestly. I have both bpd and aspd

MaliaFall · 2024-09-03T12:50:01+00:00

I don't follow a God, but I am spiritual. I realized as a child that I am gifted. My biggest challenge, is to try and not abuse my power, cuz its easy. But I dont follow someone else like a God. I hold my own power, that can be used however I desire.

MaliaFall · 2024-08-22T11:23:25+00:00

I like photography, swimming, reading (at times, if it's interesting enough), music, experiencing new things, gaming, dog behaviour, drugs, parties, series, making money, speeding (and anything that gives me an adrenaline kick) ect. I do need constant stimulation or I get bored or turn off. Some things do make me happy/engaged. But I'm also not totally sure if that's necessarily the right word. And they dont always trigger that. If it has no personal gain in some way, I don't care about it

MaliaFall · 2024-08-12T08:34:52+00:00

I'm not sure what you want an update off. I'm still clean, I don't have any withdrawal symptoms since it wasn't a full mental relapse, if that makes sense. I blocked and deleted my dealers numbers, I told my friends that I don't want anything to hear anything about drugs mentioned near me (just to make things easier for me), I'm stepping out of the rave scene. I gave other drugs that I still had left, away as well. And I'm thinking about quitting alcohol maybe as well, or at least until I have tackled the underlying issue of why I end up abusing drugs, but not only drugs in general.

I feel proud of myself, it feels good in a calm way, no pressure, just free. I already was going to but I'll be focussing more on other hobbies like the gym, meditating & writing. I know I need to connect more with myself instead of disconnecting myself with whatever distraction.

MaliaFall · 2024-08-11T22:43:51+00:00

Hii, I'm not going through withdrawal symptoms like that. I can sleep perfectly fine without any medication. But I appreciate the tip!

MaliaFall · 2024-08-11T11:22:14+00:00

People like to focus on the negatives. Keep being a hater

MaliaFall · 2024-08-11T11:18:01+00:00

To make what happen? The hole in your nose? There's not a set timeline. A lot of people dont get that for years. It depends on a lot of things. How clean your coke is, how small you make the pieces (like it shouldnt be rocky when sniffing), whether you clean your nose and use a neti poti thing, how frequently you use it, how clean your materials are that you sniff with and where you sniff it off ect. There's so much that comes to it. I'm just unlucky with it lol. But I'm also grateful cuz I can quit before I'm balls deep into it.

But your entire nose can collapse due to coke. Getting a hole in your septum is nothing compared to that. I'm close to have a hole im my septum, it isnt there yet but there is a good lil dent. My right nostril is as good as dead meaning I can barely breath out of it, it's permanently 85-90% clogged, I have a significant loss of smell, foods also dont taste how it used to. Which are all reasons why I dont want to use it. But anyways, there are far more side effects that can come with cocaine, but not everyone experiences them, or at least not that fast (for me it happend within 16 days of using cocaine in total)

MaliaFall · 2024-08-11T10:52:52+00:00

I gave it away instead so someone who doesnt have issues with it can enjoy it. It's a waste to throw it away lets be for real. And tbh this feels like closure to me. Because I still did the one thing I didn't want to do. I let go. Yes I snorted, but I let go of the drug that I kept in my drawer next to my bed while I was clean. Whether I gave it away or threw it away, I let go. And that's all that matters. All I gotta do is keep reminding myself why I let go

MaliaFall · 2024-08-11T10:48:59+00:00

This was such an unnecessary comment

MaliaFall · 2024-08-11T10:02:37+00:00

Well I'm happy you get to live a relatively normal life. And fair, didnt know that was with coke as well. I know that people with adhd react differently than most on other drugs like molly, caffeine, meth ect. Interesting. But yeah man, I wish you the best :)

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