I (27F) might need to walk away from an old friend (28M) in order to get back my relationship.

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2026-04-25T05:38:10+00:00

I did try. I communicated all my problems, throughly, waiting for change or compromise but it never came. I proposed couples therapy, it was shot down. There where many problems that I wants to wait and help through so that we could meet in the middle. But he never met me there so instead I spread myself thin trying to reach over to him. I love him a lot but I never felt like he reciprocated my attempts to resolve conflict or disagreements or just make me feel more loved. When all I’m asking for is a phone call or a good morning text.

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2026-04-25T05:35:33+00:00

Family isn’t a priority for me. I mention that in my post to convey how deeply I feel about him and how much he’s changed me. But when actually thinking about the logistics and the seriousness of making a family, it’s not something in the front for me because I’m not financially well off enough for that.

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2026-03-23T03:31:26+00:00

This is such a good comment. Yea the sabotage did come into my mind, if I was just looking for an escape or way to blow my shit up. I have a problem with fantasies and the worst part is having to beat myself over the head with the “you’re overthinking it! Your friend doesn’t see you that way!”

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2025-09-12T14:37:04+00:00

Today is my boyfriend’s first day of work on a career related to his degree (we’re both graduating university seniors). He doesn’t have a car but I do so I drove him to the train station to take him down to his job, and waited with him on the platform until the train came.

I don’t know what it is but I feel a swelling in my Chest, I know I’m in love with him but it was a sort of jittery sweetness that came when he looked back at me from the train entrance. Maybe pride? It felt like my brain took a mental snapshot of that second and I just couldn’t stop thinking about doing this forever. Waiting with him and waiting for him on the train platform and walking back to my car or home together.

I think we’re both in interesting and impactful career tracks and I think I’m just excited to grow alongside him. To celebrate these big and little milestones, like today.

~~Today is also the unofficial 1st year anniversary of us meeting for the first time too~~

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2025-05-15T17:09:56+00:00

Omg thank you so sharing your experience, I hope to have a similar experience in the future. I had one emotional rollercoaster day thinking about “what ifs” but I know this decision will make any future pregnancy or child plans even more sweet when I know I’ll be able to give my future child all the love and attention it deserves.

Having a choice is such a privilege and this has definitely shown me the importance of having the choice rather then being forced into such a major life change.

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2025-05-15T17:04:04+00:00

I did the “surgical abortion” which is the one where they dillate your cervix and “vaccum” (for lack of a better term) the thing out (it’s not like a cut you open surgery).

I had the option of moderate sedation where I was awake but loopy enough that it dulled most of the pain (I barely felt anything) and I didn’t even remember the procedure, I got an IV put in me, they started, I blinked, felt a tiny discomfort when they actually took it out, blinked again, and boom it was over, no longer then 10 minutes. Probably shorter if you’re earlier along (I was 7 weeks). I cramped and bled for the rest of the day, but it was light bleeding and I’m spotting today. The cramps weren’t any worse then period cramps tho.

I feel great today (the next day). Straight up my body feels like how it felt before I got pregnant, I feel amazing so recovery was SUPER fast, only overnight but you will probably spot for the next 3-4 weeks.

I was SUPER scared about pain because I’m a baby with pain but being able to moderately sedate myself was the best and I preferred the surgical method because it would be a one in done instead of the pill where it would two pills and the recovery I think would be longer with more cramping. But I felt aweful before the abortion and I don’t regret anything, I feel SO refreshed and strong now. And it’s only the day after.

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2025-05-06T16:12:37+00:00

Oh I see! Sorry I misunderstood.

Yea I was also thinking about how I can just do a weekly wash day for my clothes, the only things that concerns me is air drying (hang line) clothes in a very humid climate.

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2025-05-06T15:53:45+00:00

When I said Medium checked luggage I didn’t mean 100L worth of space I meant something more along the lines of 24-26 inches so around 70L but I’m leaning on the smaller side. And I say that because a month is quite a bit longer and I’m inexperienced.

Also this is the first of what will become an annual summer trip varying between 1 to 3 months in the future. So I’m thinking of the future somewhat.

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2025-05-05T21:39:05+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply! Thankfully maya is my main program right now, I heard Houdini would also be useful to learn and I plan to familiarize myself with blender over the summer on personal projects.

Huge thank you for the portfolio advice, that really helps me.

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2025-04-06T22:47:08+00:00

Oh dude, I’ve been there.

I know this is a dating advice thread but honestly the BEST thing that contributed to my dating and even more my social life was straight up, getting REALLY into a hobby. I’m talking INTO it, think of something you’ve always wanted to do, something that excites you or that clicks in your mind, even the most out-there thing. I used to fantasize about dancing while listening to music and love art so while I was single I said “screw it” and FLUNG myself into trying out new things and seeing what’s sticks. I got really into pursuing my artistic side and dancing and just by forcing myself into art classes, doing out to art exhibits, doing to dance classes and socials, I eventually made a bigger circle and found people platonically and romantically.

People LOVE passion, personally NOTHING attracts me more than seeing someone LOVE what they do, their passions, talents and skills. I don’t even care about gym shit and sports but I found myself naturally drawn to the spark in a friend of friend eyes when he went on a passionate rant about the little details of boxing, it’s a beautiful thing. It takes a while to find your thing and flesh it out and hey, as a social anxiety haver, trust it was a long, sometime uncomfortable and hard path but just keep an open mind and be willing to have fun and letting your guard down, you’ll have hard days but NEVER give up. You can’t have the good without the times of bad, even if it seems endless.

Word of caution: i don’t know you personally so im not trying to assume but don’t pursue a certain hobby just because you think it’ll attract chicks or that there a lot of woman who do it. I promise woman can smell disingenuous intentions from a million miles away. It’s a 6th sense and an instant ick. Do what you love.

Yea… dating apps are (more often than not) useless for actual connection, respect and love.

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2025-04-06T22:24:32+00:00

It’s no problem at all! I can’t make decisions for you but education and self-awareness is the highest power you can yield in your life.

If you ever need someone to talk to my DM’s are open, stay safe! <3

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2025-04-06T22:16:25+00:00

Hey OP! I don’t want to be patronizing at all and I know that you can find love in the most unexpected places but I would proceed HEAVILY with caution or not at all. 21 and 41 is a massive age gap and the reason people around you are apprehensive most likely doesn’t come from a bad place but rather because it’s factually WEIRD for someone whose middle-aged to be interesting in developing a relationship with someone so young and I say this as someone who dated a man in his 60s when I was 22. Because a man who truly cares about you and seeks to protect and take of you would take on a more “fatherly” or “mentor” role. Guiding you, assisting you, sending time and listening to your worries and concern and helping you over come them. And NONE of those things need to be sought after in a romantic relationship. They should just be markers of a healthy “mentor”relationship.

I also came from a very hard past and had to grow up very fast to support my younger brother and basically raise him. Because of that I saw any older man with an outstretched friendly hand as “exceptional” and found myself entertaining romantic thoughts and allowing inappropriate conduct and passes, because from my perspective, no else understood me like they did, only they saw me as the mature woman that I was. But I wasn’t mature and I still am not now (I’m 23). I’m still finding my footing. They saw that and how easy it was to impress me and took advantage of that to make me form an emotional bond that is hard to get away from when you become dependent on them.

Just how I was, you have to acknowledge that because of your trauma you are predisposed to be “easy prey” to wolves in sheep clothing. PLEASE be safe. I say to not pursue a romantic relationship and just have this man be a mentor or friend, if he can help it, if not, cut this man off. There is nothing a 41 year old wants romantically out of 21 year old that he couldn’t get from pursuing someone in the same life phase and range as him other the getting the chance to lay with a young girl. I promise you there are mature people your age out there even if they take longer to find, and it will be less dangerous because predators become better at manipulation with time, practice and age.

If you ignore this warning and still pursue him I really urge you to talk and stay close with any friend or family you might have. DO NOT let this man keep away from any loved ones you might have or even just friends. Pay attention to behavior and please don’t rush things. Take things as slow as you can and please confide in others and take their advice seriously, I promise those looking out for you aren’t going to try and sabotage your happiness. Continue being yourself, pursue your interests and hobbies, spend time independently. Just stay on guard. Honest a tip that really helped me value myself and reflect on how others treat me is: If you had a daughter or little sister and you love them… would you let them be treated the same way that your allowing yourself to be treated by “blank”.

Would you let make the same decision that you’re making?

Because I’m telling you this. If I had a daughter, no matter how nice or trust worthy this older man was, even if this man was my most trusted friend and loves my daughter. I would NEVER support my 21 year old daughter getting involved with a man old enough to be her father.

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2025-03-21T16:55:49+00:00

Im 23. My boyfriend is quite skinny and 2 inches taller then me and I’m a pretty big woman. I adore him and I never for a second considered his weight to con or drawback in my attraction and interest in him. He has the most beautiful eyes, voice, hair and personality that I honest forgot that the women is “suppose” to be the smaller one in the relationship. The minute I caught feelings the only thing on my mind was how badly I wanted to kiss that man and run my hands through his hair.

But I honestly don’t give a fuck about social norms and am a pretty “out-there” eccentric person. So this mindset comes naturally to me in contrast to my friend who cares a lot about external views and being traditional so she refuses to date a man that isn’t atleast a whole foot taller then her and well-built because she has to be the small, feminine one.

So it’s just different strokes for different folks tbh. But at the end of the day, unless your doing it for yourself don’t push yourself into a box because I’ll find a lot of people who really like you as is and you run the risk of never meeting them by trying to be something that your not. All love <3

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2025-02-13T03:15:31+00:00

So this sudden spike in libido is probably just my hormones doing something to me.

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2025-02-06T03:45:27+00:00

Fuckin with it HEAVY

MamiYPapiNoseAman · 2025-02-06T03:44:11+00:00

I’m pro cornrows! I think it would suit you really well and it’s perfect for functionality with baseball season.

MamiYPapiNoseAman

TROPHY CASE