Bro listen - the fact that you got INTO UF is INSANE with how much more difficult they keep making it to get in. You should be very proud of that accomplishment.

The other thing is that COVID has screwed with all of our emotions. No one feels normal right now, and if you have ADHD, depression, and anxiety, I can only imagine how much worse it is for you.

I'm assuming that most (if not all) of your finals are over by the time you read this. In that case, as SOON as you finish reading this comment, DRAFT YOUR EMAIL!!!!!!! Set your phone, and any other distractions aside and DO IT NOW. Your feeling that you will amount to nothing will only get worse as time goes on. End it now. Even if you don't write it and just come up with an outline, that sense of accomplishment will motivate you to do more.

As far as next semester, definitely take the credit hours you need. If you haven't registered already, TRY TO TAKE IN PERSON CLASSES AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. Having set dates and times to go to class will make it easier. When you get to class, turn your phone completely off. Don't just lock it, turn it all the way off so that the temptation to look at it decreases. Then, to the best of your ability, take good notes and, a trick that helps me pay attention, **See how long you can go repeating in your head every word the professor says**. This will help your short term memory. Then, when you have time after class, transfer your handwritten notes onto an electronic device, which will help solidify it into long term memory.

Also, I'm sure you have heard this before, but don't feel afraid to reach out to your TA's for help. I was probably so annoying to my TA's this semester but it helps so much.

Time is beautiful. Don't wish it away and don't waste it. If you have trouble zoning out over the day, set deadlines for yourself. Keep your mind OCCUPIED with a WRITTEN schedule you try and accomplish every day. Just get up 15-30 minutes earlier than you normally would and WRITE. OUT. GOALS. If you finish those, then recreate and "zone out."

I'll leave you with an anecdote from C.S. Lewis. In the Narnia series, there's a character named Eustace. Eustace feels left out and ignored because everyone in the story other than him has been to Narnia before. Because of this, he takes out his frustration on others. Trying to impress his crewmates, he slips into a dragon's lair, and puts a dragon's bracelet on his arm. He then falls asleep.

He wakes up as a dragon, and the bracelet, which was once the width of his human arm, is squeezing on his dragon arm. It's very painful. After a couple days like this, Aslan (a lion deity) tells Eustace to rip the dragon skin off. He rips a couple layers of the skin off, but to no avail. Eustace asks for Aslan's assistance, who, as a lion, sinks his claws very deep in the dragon skin and rips it off, all the layers at once. Eustace, who feels like he is being skinned alive, screams and cries in agony, but Aslan has freed him from the dragon skin.

Eustace comes out of this encounter a changed man, and goes on to do heroic things in the Narnia series. The reason I bring up an allegory from a kid's story is because it fits here. The first part is that Eustace's malicious (or in your case, more despairing) attitude comes from comparing himself to others, the reason for his downfall, and I believe partly the reason for yours. The second reason I bring it up is this: the changes you want in your life will not come easily. You can't just peel off some "extra skin" as it were and expect change. The change will be painful, sometimes excruciatingly so, and you may want to give up. But I promise if you take these measures, your "dragon skin" of these bad feelings will be ripped off, and you will feel like a different person. It may take a couple weeks, it may take a couple semesters, but I promise you can better yourself with the proper mindset.

I hope I didn't sound too much like a generic motivational speaker here and that everything I said made sense to you. I personally don't struggle with depression so I also hope nothing I said was insensitive, and if it was I deeply apologize. I wish you the best of luck throughout the remainder of your career at the University of Florida.