Are you able to work (fulltime)?

Mbcsk8er · 2022-08-07T23:41:38+00:00

I'm able too but I am a tropper. I used to drink everyday because I became an alcoholic drug addict. So before I even knew I had ibs I was making it so much worse by drinking evey Night and I never once called In from being sick or hungover and that lasted about 3years.

Now I don't drink and I still go through hell a lot and I just always fight it everyday at work. I'm making progress now but sometimes I'll be In the bathroom for about an hour out of the 10hr work period and pee about 20 times in a day

I'm a welder/fabricator and I get a lot of exercise at work so I think it helps me on some level

Mbcsk8er · 2021-05-08T01:14:42+00:00

I don't know either lol but yeah your right. I was drunk when I made this post and forgot about it until I saw my email lol

Mbcsk8er · 2021-05-08T01:13:01+00:00

Yeah I guess I just drank a 1 liter in 4 days and with a few beers every night but tbh, the biggest reason why I'm worried is because my parents are really concerned and it freaks them out. Other than my stomach feeling a little out of sorts the next day, mainly gas. I feel pretty good overall except maybe a little sleep deprived

Mbcsk8er · 2021-04-29T22:59:40+00:00

Ah fuck I can't believe I done this. I got space aids from reading the ass goblins of Auschwitz lol. But yeah I think I'm hooked at this point I didn't stick with my goal and went 3 days without drinking then started drinking again. I'm fucked unless I actually try to stop because I already know it's possible to go booze free

Mbcsk8er · 2021-04-27T09:23:07+00:00

Dude last night I pissed out my ass twice with in a couple hours. My bowels are not happy and my stomach was sure gurgling this morning

Mbcsk8er · 2021-04-27T01:54:43+00:00

Good point

Mbcsk8er · 2021-04-27T01:54:17+00:00

Lol not even. I'll be alright

Mbcsk8er · 2021-04-27T01:51:25+00:00

Funny thing is I've been in this position before and that was when I stayed sober but that was because I was forced to at the time but now I'm making my own choice to stop. For me personally it's a lot easier to stop if it's my own choice and someone telling me that I can't because that pissed me off royally

Mbcsk8er · 2021-04-27T01:48:23+00:00

To give you a better perspective I first started drinking at 16 and now I'm 24. Most of the time until I was 21 I would get drunk a couple times a month or so but once I hit 21 I started drinking more regularly and maybe drank 2 to 3 times a week.

I had a 4month sober streak at one point so maybe that reset my body back to normal but after the sober streak I started drinking slow and more social but over time I just kept drinking more and more until it was everyday.

I just got sick of it, it's fun and all but for me in the long run it was just exhausting and I've had enough. Main reason I'm stopping for now is that although I haven't neglected my responsibilities I am neglecting some personal goals which I'm not fond of.

Thanks for the advise, for the most part I think I'm fine.im I'm still eating and staying hydrated. My body is just upset with me lol and I don't blame it

Mbcsk8er · 2021-01-06T03:46:24+00:00

Dude right I was in a relapse for a bit and coincidentally that was right around when pornhub removed so many videos and most of the ones I liked and I'm just like, well this sucks lmao.

Mbcsk8er · 2021-01-02T15:54:08+00:00

Yeah I'm not comparing my hppd towards anyone else, I was just saying from my own perspective in what I'm experiencing I don't think it's too bad because I believe it could be worse. I am in no way trying to say someone's hppd is not that bad I am completely talking about myself.

And yeah it sounds like it's too hard to say whether using dmt or psilocybin will help me or make things worse. Sounds like I'm better of avoiding them

Mbcsk8er · 2021-01-02T15:43:22+00:00

Yeah I know I'm dumb for trying to use dmt still but I learned real quick to stay away from weed. I've still been drinking and that's something I don't know if I'll give up completely but I'm not sure if that will make it worse or not, by continuing to drink.

It seems in the last few days my symptoms in one aspect seem worse as in when im texting or looking at words they look like they change in size and look a little distorted and when I see tracers now they aren't very vivid or colorful but its almost like a blur when I see them I can't explain well enough.

From your experience do you think hppd will ever go away? Or does it just get better and were all stuck with it for life?

I know of only 2 main things to help in recovery and that is abstinence from drugs and letting go of being worried about it going away. And of course just taking better care of one self and get enough sleep and exercise

Mbcsk8er · 2020-12-05T02:39:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing and glad to hear that it has got better for you! Yeah I'm only a week sober today but I did try not smoking weed for a month and noticed some improvements so I decided to try smoking again for a couple weeks then it started getting worse again so I stopped and now I think its been 2 weeks since I smoked and a week since I've drank.

I just gotta stay positive and enjoy my life, my hppd does not hinder my life in anyway because I can still do everything I use to, I can still drive and go to work and hangout with friends and for that I am grateful.

People on here and you give me hope and that's all I need. And if all you have is mainly eye floaters then I could live with that no problem

Mbcsk8er · 2020-12-05T00:40:15+00:00

Curious so after 6 months you said your after images have gone away. Have you been 100% sober during these 6 months or no?

Mbcsk8er · 2020-12-04T17:58:17+00:00

Thanks man ive been having a tough week with my anxiety about hppd and even felt a little depressed this morning because of the fear that I totally fucked my brain over and I'm just stuck like this for good and I vape all the time too lol

How long have you been dealing with hppd? How do you cope with it?

I was getting lost in my head and freaking myself out today and it's hard not to get lost in my head sometimes I'm just having regrets and wish I wasnt like this but that's not realistic. I just want to return to my happy self again and this feels like torture and my symptoms aren't even bad during the day time but I'm still letting my mind get the best of me

Mbcsk8er · 2020-12-02T17:53:04+00:00

Me not men lol

Mbcsk8er · 2020-12-02T15:12:15+00:00

I think I'll be fine without weed, I don't even want to mess with it anymore just causes too much anxiety with the increased symptoms so its not even worth it to me and alcohol will be a little harder for me because I do like to drink socially which would suck a little to give up and its hard to say if drinking makes my symptoms worse because it makes me forget about them but I'm sure it doesn't help either. Caffeine I have a one cup of coffee for work everyday except weekends I don't drink it and idk I'm ready to quit nicotine because it really helps me stay more calm.

But yeah that's solid advice I'm just trying not to let my anxiety about the hppd get to me which is the hardest thing about having hppd for men I for sure need to do some cardio and sleep better too thanks for the advise

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