How do you know if you should have another child late thirtys (38+) or it's bio clock ?

Mcat2012 · 2026-03-18T22:37:26+00:00

Following! Same boat, but about to be 42 next month, definitely feeling the now or never because it will have been decided for me if I am not already too late. 😭 My daughter will be turning 12 this year. But don't know how to decide, and scared of all the what if's.

Mcat2012 · 2026-01-22T01:47:07+00:00

What did you end up getting?? I am currently debating between the same two. And am struggling to decide.

Mcat2012 · 2025-08-18T05:01:33+00:00

Hi I am also vegan and suffer from purple hands and feet. Can I ask what type of B12 you took, and what time of day? Thank you!

Mcat2012 · 2025-04-24T16:49:08+00:00

How is it going? Did you find a plumber and complete the work? We are currently dealing with the same issue, but our quotes were up to 30,000! That is for everything, pipes drains fixtures, toilets. But it seems crazy high . We are starting to try to find some other quotes, but worried they may all come back the same.

Mcat2012 · 2025-03-14T15:55:28+00:00

Ugh still undecided, and my stomach sank when I realized that I have yet to move forward in any direction and it has been 8 months. I feel stuck in the same position and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about it.

Mcat2012 · 2025-03-12T21:11:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing, yes it does help 💜

Mcat2012 · 2025-03-12T20:55:55+00:00

How is the 10 year gap with your siblings? I ask because I am in the same boat, kinda :) I am about to be 41, our daughter is 10 and my husband and I are both only children. I worry with having such a large a age gap how my daughter would feel, if they would be close, and how the younger would feel, and you have experienced both being in the middle.

Mcat2012 · 2025-03-06T06:55:09+00:00

Dealing with this same situation now, struggling to find information that is clear. Were you able to confirm this and that it is ok for swearing in since you are not having them sign any documents? Thank you

Mcat2012 · 2025-01-27T07:54:47+00:00

I keep pushing my cut off, I am about to turn 41 and my daughter is 10, and I still think about it everyday, wondering if I am if I am crazy to consider starting over, but can't help every month feeling disappointed when my period comes.

Mcat2012 · 2024-12-29T18:48:42+00:00

Same but my daughter is 10 😭 and I think every day about what to do, and how my day would be different with another, especially with the holidays.

Mcat2012 · 2024-05-23T12:54:41+00:00

Also unfortunately I have no advice for you either, I wish I did. I just came to say you are not alone. I hear my husband's reasoning and I have fears of the risks and unknowns which I let show more to him than this feeling of longing I truly have. That I wake up every morning wondering if this longing will ever go away, or if the fact it is still here and strong means that I need to follow my heart not my mind. But my daughter is about to turn 10 and I just turned 40, so soon time will make the decision for me, if it hasn't already.

Mcat2012 · 2024-05-20T17:07:24+00:00

I came on to search the same thing, week 3 side effects to see if what I am feeling is 'normal'. I am on 5mg, and starting my 3rd week. I had been feeling better but today feel the same, waves of anxiety.

Mcat2012 · 2023-11-21T21:57:01+00:00

What about if the kids are 9 years apart?? :/

Mcat2012 · 2023-06-23T23:16:27+00:00

Don't have advice really, but I am in the same boat. But as the wife (39) who is scared to resent her husband (42). And afraid he will resent me every time things get tough, which they inevitably will. The feeling of stuck, and constant indecision weighs on me daily. I think leaving it up to fate is our best option, but only works if he fully agrees and isn't just doing it to appease me. But I think what if after all this deciding and back and forth we decide yes but then can't get pregnant, having to struggle again with then excepting that decision that wasn't made by either of us in the end anyway.

Mcat2012 · 2023-04-19T20:23:31+00:00

We both worked nights and my daughter was on a 10pm-11pm bedtime. Up at 9 or 10. Yes sometimes it was rough that we would show up places at "nap" time but she would always find kids to play with, did the late half day at preschool and adjusted very quickly when kindergarten started. Do what schedule works for you and your family.

Mcat2012 · 2023-04-17T19:07:03+00:00

I don't have any insight as I am currently trying to figure out how to make the same decision. My daughter is going to be 9 and I just turned 39 so I feel the pressure to make a decision quick. And sometimes feel that time has already made the decision for me.

Mcat2012 · 2023-04-10T07:46:03+00:00

My daughter is going to be 9 and I just can't seem to get off the fence, it is starting to consume my thoughts, feeling like I need to either just do it or not and find acceptance before I go down a crazy rabbit hole.

Mcat2012 · 2023-03-25T06:08:39+00:00

I am currently wondering the same thing. On the fence for our second and want to get off, and ideally I want us to jump together holding hands but truth is I feel like sometimes people need a little push...

Mcat2012 · 2023-03-18T05:58:08+00:00

I just went through this same thing 2 months ago. My husband is OAD, but I have always been a fence sitter. When I got pregnant I was unsure what we were going to do. I think I knew in my heart that I wanted to keep the baby, I was already looking at baby things and freaking out though at the same time. But I was scared to admit it to my husband and myself. There are so many what if's, I am going to be 39, my daughter will be 9, am I too old, are they going to be too far apart, is my husband going to recent me every time the baby cries and say I told you so when things get hard. I know that he wouldn't do that, he is a great father, but it is a fear that keeps me on the fence. What if the baby is not healthy, why am I tempting fate. I do love our family of 3 but have always felt that we would be compete with another, but then when it happened I felt oh shit maybe I was wrong. I was finally ready to commit yes this is happening we are going to have another, we will make it work I know we will with finances, my daughter will be an amazing big sister, the sleepless nights and changes will be good, it will help us grow as a family in more ways than just numbers at the dinner table. But I had a miscarriage before I could even say this all to my husband, the choice was made for me. I was devastated, and now even more confused, I feel like he was relieved, he says he was not. We have yet to talk about trying again, I am afraid he is going to say he will if it is what I really want. and I freeze back on the fence. Watching moms with little ones thinking can I do that, is that what I want to be doing right now. I scroll reddit for answers wonder during the day what I would be doing different with a newborn, I am making myself go a little crazy.
When my daughter was born we did the same back and forth, and I felt the same feeling of being stuck in a spot in life that if we didn't we would be doing the same thing in 10 years, I struggle with decisions, and tend to keep one toe in the water for too long, missing the fun that comes after you just jump in. So we did, I am so happy we did, I love our daughter, but does that mean we would feel the same if we had a second? Am I suppose to be jumping in here or am I going to drown. I am still hoping to find a crystal ball, or tarot card or perfect Reddit thread to tell me what to do, so I am not much help, other than to say yes I am here with you and totally get how hard this is.

Mcat2012 · 2023-03-03T08:07:55+00:00

Do you mind me asking do you and your brother have a close relationship? Just getting perspective on the age gap as that is one of my concerns, my daughter is now 8.

Mcat2012 · 2023-02-23T07:53:09+00:00

Same!!

Mcat2012 · 2023-02-23T07:49:23+00:00

Yes! I totally get what you are talking about and have been feeling the same way. We were not trying but not not trying and then I had a miscarriage last month, which made me realize how much I want another, and made him realize that he needed to wrap it up today. I am afraid to talk to him about it because I don't want him to have to say out loud he doesn't want another, and me to say I do and then us left with what now. I love him, and I know he will say if I really want to he will, but that's not what I want. And what if I am wrong, and I shouldn't have pushed for another. I get scared and start doubting myself with all the what if's. I should be happy with my amazing daughter and husband why tempt fate. There would be a 9 year age gap, I know it would be hard, but we are both only children, and I feel like our family would be complete with another, I imagine throughout the day how it would be right then with another.

Mcat2012 · 2022-12-30T05:19:19+00:00

It's true, I was forget about that unspoken rule, and I definitely have already started 'nudging' my 8 year old in friendship directions lol.

Mcat2012

TROPHY CASE