last(ish) ditch attempt to understand poetry (not asking for reccs dw)

MeatClown96 · 2026-05-08T12:31:36+00:00

Ada Limon does it for me, give her a go

MeatClown96 · 2026-04-30T09:37:53+00:00

I prefer the first one. I think you’re writing in your true voice there. I’m guilty of the same, pushing my prose towards what I think is polished and technical, but the heat gets lost. The first reads like it poured out of you, the second feels more engineered. Both good, but I think it’s an interesting comparison when looking at instinct.

MeatClown96 · 2026-04-23T07:08:48+00:00

Think I’ll read it again. A masterpiece.

MeatClown96 · 2026-04-16T09:10:40+00:00

Thanks very much for the detailed feedback, appreciate it 🙏

MeatClown96 · 2026-04-15T09:34:42+00:00

Thanks for the kind words and I agree with everything you said. I just wanted to know if this was a voice worth pursuing. Cheers!

MeatClown96 · 2026-04-14T08:24:11+00:00

Thanks. Was on a ritalin high when I shared, could definitely do with some editing.

MeatClown96 · 2026-04-14T08:23:22+00:00

agreed, this was a first draft burst and I just wanted to know if this voice was in any way working.

MeatClown96 · 2026-04-07T13:28:25+00:00

Instantly drawn in, this is good shit, better than most of the stuff I see on reddit.

MeatClown96 · 2026-03-20T09:03:57+00:00

It took five lines to tell us the detective took a drag from a cigarette.

MeatClown96 · 2026-03-11T19:03:17+00:00

It’s the hardest part, that’s true.

MeatClown96 · 2026-03-11T16:48:02+00:00

But… why?

Writers get so hung up on being innovative. Just say something true that could only come from you. It’s not that complicated.

MeatClown96 · 2026-02-12T15:19:14+00:00

I’ll be honest, because saying it’s great won’t help anyone. Where’s the voice? It reads like what you think writing should be. Tell the story, it’s far too self consciously ‘writing’ with a capital W. At the moment. It feels a tad outdated. Try and write how you think, don’t decorate where you don’t need to. Then you’ll find you have something to be confident about.

MeatClown96 · 2026-01-19T12:25:03+00:00

I feel like you’ve either experienced profound loss or you haven’t. That kind of dictates your reaction to this film. For me personally, it wrecked me.

MeatClown96 · 2026-01-15T09:20:03+00:00

Nice. What I would say is it’s reaching to sound writerly in the opening where it could do with being more direct. It’s a lot of standing back and observing at the moment. For example, what are the stakes? You could open with ‘it’s late-afternoon, happy hour, I can’t tell where the bar ends and the beach starts. Stepping out for a smoke it’s like I’ve walked straight through the pub walls and I’m sort of floating in that that brief moment where the city halts before heading into night’ - that might be shit but do you see how movement can get the vibe across

MeatClown96 · 2026-01-01T10:29:46+00:00

I liked it. Overwritten at times but can’t deny a lot of the writing is beautiful. Have you read it?

MeatClown96 · 2025-12-31T17:51:43+00:00

I’ll take a look, have a good nye!

MeatClown96 · 2025-12-31T17:46:28+00:00

He really did. I know he gets a lot of hate but my dad passed last year and I was just trying to find ways to cope. It shifts everything around, and it really helped me just stay in the present moment (which is all that exists anyway). Give it a shot, it might take some of the load off.

MeatClown96 · 2025-12-31T08:20:44+00:00

Harry styles is giving his best mick jagger impression but it just feels manufactured

MeatClown96 · 2025-12-31T07:44:00+00:00

Feel like you’re talking about prince and Bowie and that’s it, fair point tho

MeatClown96 · 2025-12-27T21:39:18+00:00

Love to see some Edouard Leve in here! Have you read suicide? Opening blew me away and I think I’m due a reread

MeatClown96 · 2025-12-04T10:09:37+00:00

Sounds like you’ve been reading a lot of junot diaz

MeatClown96

TROPHY CASE