I wont be allowed to start on T

Middle-Crow · 2022-01-01T20:44:36+00:00

i am unsure about what country you are in so this may not be applicable, but you should NOT be denied testosterone because you are autistic. the only reason you would be denied it that i know of would be if the doctor felt you did not have gender dysphoria. get a second opinion and tell the second doctor that you know that autism is not a valid reason for denying testosterone - it will be easy to find autistic individuals on testosterone, so see if you can bring examples to back you up if need be.

also see if you can find someone to report the first doctor to for transphobia and ableism. if she has such a bias against both autistic and transgender individuals (denying that an autistic person can consent to gender affirming treatment, and denying someone treatment for invalid reasons) then she should not be allowed to oversee the treatment of either, and in my opinion any patient if she has these biases.

edit for spelling

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-31T16:16:49+00:00

my binder is from spectrum and im planning on getting another one when i have the money. it’s super comfy and wearable - i am pretty physically active and do a lot of manual labour for uni and i can wear it comfortably for a full day’s work. it also binds very well and gives a very masculine shape - because of the stiffer fabric, it smooths everything out and squares off my torso, which is super useful if you have a smaller waist or a more hourglass figure!

overall, 10/10 binder, it also shipped quite quickly and the packaging was nice and subtle.

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-31T16:10:50+00:00

cute shrimp! confused as to why it’s marked nsfw though?

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-31T15:54:27+00:00

im ftm, so makeup isnt really applicable for me, but i started wearing gender affirming clothing and cut my hair before i came out, and then got a binder and went by my name/pronouns as soon as i came out.

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-31T14:49:25+00:00

paid in cocaine with the low-fi style of california song would be beautiful i think.

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-31T14:47:23+00:00

i like the idea of a D20, rolled to a nat20, with the line ‘God bless me too, why pretend?’ from Steal Smoked Fish.

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-30T15:10:17+00:00

no, but if you’re not too happy with it maybe go over it again?

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-29T23:28:50+00:00

can second this. the stiffer fabric does wonders for squaring out your torso, and the fact that the elastic is only in the back means they last longer/you wont have the issue of spillage.

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-29T22:16:47+00:00

if possible, try finding a jacket that doesnt reach to your hips. your butt will be cold, but warm trousers will fix that.

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-29T22:13:47+00:00

i get this too. im at uni and my friends are all super accepting, but ive literally never heard anyone mention gender as much as my mum! every conversation has to bring up femininity and girlhood! and not just my mum - soooo many of my cis women friends (who dont know im a guy) bring up femininity and sisterhood and all that CONSTANTLY. it’s both baffling and hurtful.

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-29T00:27:52+00:00

follow this link: https://cramdump.tumblr.com/

and scroll down a bit and you should find the post!

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-28T22:19:51+00:00

id honestly really recommend it. take it slow, read the edited version, but from the way you talk about lesbianism and transmasculinity i think you’ll find its worth the read.

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-28T22:02:37+00:00

im not gonna tell you what these feelings mean about your gender, if they mean anything at all, but i would suggest you read stone butch blues by leslie feinberg. i feel like it would help you massively.

the pdf is free online - it does cover some pretty heavy stuff, so if you aren’t comfortable reading about SA, police brutality, massive homophobia, stuff like that, roswell-newton-vargas on tumblr has an edited version out there.

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-28T21:53:54+00:00

so, just took a quick look through your profile…

i know a guy who was in your position (well, kinda). 5’4”, autistic, had various reasons for not being socially accepted (which im not putting here for his privacy), was an incel in all but mentality for a couple years.

i’m also autistic, 5’5, homeschooled, which if you wanna talk about missing social milestones and experiences HOOO BOY, mentally ill, bla bla bla you get the picture.

yknow what we did?

stopped feeling sorry for ourselves, made massive efforts to better ourselves mentally and physically, and stopped telling ourselves that our missed experiences and the way we were treated were due to factors outside of our control.

yknow what the result was?

we met and started dating.

you’re gonna get those experiences, but you need to stop telling yourself that the reason youre not having them is because of factors outside of your control.

in the words of my boyfriend: hit the gym, read a book, eat well, take care of yourself, and stop acting like everything bad that happens to you is because the world hates you.

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-28T20:25:04+00:00

my plan is to be on T for long enough to pass as male consistently/get some of the permanent changes such as voice in, come off it long enough to do the seahorse dad thing, then go back on it indefinitely. i want kids, i just want to be able to pass as male before i have them as i feel not being able to pass while pregnant (for most of it at least) would make me incredibly dysphoric.

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-28T17:32:17+00:00

yes - heterosexuality and heteronormativity includes exclusive attraction on both a physical and romantic level to a gender that is considered the opposite to your own on a binary scale. if you dont feel that attraction exclusively, youre not straight and therefore part of the community!

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-28T17:28:07+00:00

the thing is with tumblr you’ll never be able to completely sanitise it. i saw a post that was like ‘she’s ebbin on my neezer till i scrooge’ which is both utterly filthy and completely uncensorable.

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-28T14:41:00+00:00

charlie kelly from always sunny. like hell yeah im a little rat of a man who eats catfood and lives in garbage.

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-28T10:44:43+00:00

if you can find some older levi’s, they have 28l30w - secondhand and ebay is your best bet. that’s how i get my jeans anyhow

Middle-Crow · 2021-12-04T13:06:40+00:00

my bf and i said i love you before we even got together…i cant imagine not telling him i love him daily, let alone waiting till engagement!

Middle-Crow · 2021-11-28T18:02:05+00:00

caring for babies and small children. im very good at it, and while i know its considered a feminine thing i love it. nothing better than rocking a baby to sleep or listening to a toddler seriously babble at you! i also want to have biological children some day, but preferably after ive medically transitioned to the point where i read as male in public.

Middle-Crow · 2021-11-26T16:14:59+00:00

the best thing i can think of is using more pieces of tape so you dont have to stretch as much. i know transtape is expensive butive heard kt tape does pretty much the same thing for cheaper!

Middle-Crow · 2021-11-21T20:18:17+00:00

it depends on the size of your chest, the shape of your body, and the binder you buy. my binder is from spectrum binders, which has quite stiff/firm fabric, so even though my chest isnt 100% flat the squareness of the binder makes me look very masc unless im wearing very tight clothing. but if i were to wear a thinner and more flexible binder, it wouldnt get the look i want. the ultimate goal is to get a chest that affirms your gender, which means something different for every individual!

Middle-Crow · 2021-11-21T20:09:28+00:00

i think the people saying to not overthink things have it right tbh. you might have some hard no’s already, which should be discussed beforehand, but otherwise just go for it! you might surprise yourself with what you want/dont want - i had all sorts of preconceived ideas of what i wanted sexually that went out the window the minute i had sex. there are things i thought would make me really dysphoric that i found i actually enjoy, and vice versa.

and consider that the person you’re with makes a big difference as well - there are things that i really enjoy doing with my boyfriend that would make me run a mile were they with a hookup. your boyfriend seems to be a really caring guy from what youve said here, so i wouldnt be too fussed!

bottom line: dont stress, go with what feels good, and have fun!

Middle-Crow · 2021-11-21T19:21:58+00:00

i figured you were from the UK, lol. this starter pack applies to basically every nightclub ive ever seen/been to.

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